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DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free. 
Price 15c each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given 



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M. F. 

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At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

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College Town, 3 acts, 2>4 

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Corner Drug Store, 1 hr. 

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Dream That Came True, 3 

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Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr....(25c) 10 
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Face at the W^indow. 3 acts, 2 

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Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

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Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

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FARCES, COIVIEDIETAS, Etc. 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Bad Job, 30 min 3 2 

Bets}^ Baker, 45 min 2 2 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min. ...... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 

Box and Cox, 35 min 2 I 

Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 
Convention of Papas, 25 min.. 7 

Country lustice, 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 154 W. Randolph St. , Chicago 



Country School 
Dialogues 

Especially Suitable for the Last 
Day of School 

FOR ALL AGES 



BY 

MARY L. MONAGHAN 

AUTHOR OF 
''Dialogues for District Schools" 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 



z"'^ 

\^*- 



-^'V' 



COPYRIGHT, 1915, BY EBEN H. NORRIS. 



0^ > ^ 

JUL -8 191^)0^401708 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 



CONTENTS 



PAGE 

Acting in Haste (2 M., 1 F.) 7 

Adele's Lesson (2 M., 4 F.) 9 

Annans Doll (2 M., 1 F.) 12 

The Brave Professor (2 M, 1 F.) 14 

Brother Gridden's Visit (5 F.) 19 

Circumstantial Evidence (3 M.) -. . . 23 

Cousin Imogene's Dinner (4 M., 4 F.) 28 

Cream Puffs (5 F.) 3S 

The Editor's Mail (3 M., 1 F.) 41 

The Escaped Bear (2 M, 5 F.) 45 

Found Out (6 F.) 49 

An Interruption (1 M., 3 F) 53 

The Lost Key (2 M., 2 F.) 56 

The Lost Prize (2 M, 4 F.) 61 

Mother's Blunder (1 M, 2 F.) 64 

Mr. Jones Changes His Mind (6 M., 1 F.) 68 

The New Teacher (5 M, 4 F.) 73 

The Reading Circle (1 M., 5 F.) 76 

Rose Helps Entertain (2 M., 3 F.) 80 

State Pride (6 F.) 84 

Teasing Frank (5 M.) 89 

Their Presents (2 M., 4 F.) 92 

A War Incident (4 M., 2 F.) 96 

When They Told (5 F.) 105 

Why? (1 M., 1 F.) 109 

(M., Male. F., Female) 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 



A FEW WORDS TO THE TEACHER. 

In preparing these dialogues, the writer had in mind 
the busy teacher of the country school who wishes to 
have an entertainment on the last day but who lacks 
the time to attemipt anything elaborate. They were, 
therefore, kept simple and an effort made to provide 
material suitable for pupils of all the eight grades. 

Rehearsals, careful and frequent, are, hovrever, 
necessary even for the simplest dialogues. All should 
be present at each rehearsal. Very few stage direc- 
tions, suggestions for gestures, etc., are given in this 
book as it is supposed that they will present them- 
selves to the teacher's mind during practice. 

A curtain is almost a necessity for a successful en- 
tertainment. One of dark material should be provided. 
If four frames about six by three feet are made, cov- 
ered with cheese cloth, and placed two at each side 
of stage, they will afford an easier means of entrance 
and exit than a cloth curtain. The properties and 
costumes called for are easily obtained from the homes 
of the pupils. Stage decorations, such as flowers, 
palms, flags, etc., are also usually brought by them,. 

Closing the school with an entertainmient has long 
been the custom in rural districts, and is still as popu- 
lar a method as ever. In fact in some places there is 
almost a demand made that an entertainment be given. 
Such a desire on the part of the patrons is an indica- 
tion of a genuine interest in the school, and Is usually 
acceded to b}^ the teacher to whom it is earnestly 
hoped these dialogues may prove of some assistance. 



Country School Dialogues 



ACTING IN HASTE. 

characters. 
Mr. Smith. Dick Johnson. Fanny. 

Scene: Living room. Mr. Smith seated at table 
zvith paper. 

Mr. Smith {laying paper aside). Well, I certainl}^ 
do feel fine. Fanny — that black cook of mine—can 
get up the best meals I ever ate. How lucky I am to 
have such a good servant. I have to pay her a pretty 
stiff price — forty dollars a month— -but she's worth it. 
And none of my neighbors can afford those wages, so 
Fm not afraid of their coaxing her away. My only 
worry is that some day she may want to get married 
But she hasn't any beau now since I fired Dick John- 
son. He'd better not be trying to get the only good 
cook I ever had. The last time I found him in the 
kitchen he certainly got out in a hurry. ( Laughs.) He 
was one scared darky. (Opens letter.) Oh, this is a no- 
tice from the poultry company that they have shipped 
the eggs I ordered. They ought to be here soon. I do 
hope I will have good luck with them. When I invite 
Jones and Wilson over to eat fried chicken with me, 
they won't laugh so much about my fad, as they call 
it, for raising chickens. (Looks ont of zvindozv.) 
What ! Is it possible ? Can that be Dick Johnson com- 
ing here again after what he got the last time? I'll fix 
him. I'll just wait till he gets deep in a conversation 
with Fanny and then I'll go to the kitchen and throw 
him out. He has a package with him — bringing her a 
present, I guess. Well, I know one thing. He'd better 
go to see some other cook and leave mine alone. 

7 



8 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

{Knock is heard.) Well, of all the nerve! Coming to 
my front door! (Opens door.) 

Enter Dick with package. 

Mr. Smith. See here, what do you mean by coming 
to this door? 

Dick {frightened) . Well, Boss, you done tole me 
nebber to let you fine me in yoh kitchen agin. 

Mr. Smith. Of course not. But that didn't mean 
that you were to come to any other part of the house, 
either. Clear out now before I throw you out. {Moves 
tozvard Dick in threatening manner.) 

Dick {stepping hack). But, Mr. Smith, I'se workin' 
for de express company now and — 

Mr. Smith. I don't care if you're working for the 
President of the United States, I don't want you 
around here. Get out. 

Enter Fanny. 

Fanny. Hello, Dick. What you doin' heah? Come 
to see me? Den come out to de kitchen. 

Mr. Smith {quickly). No, he won't. You go back 
to the kitchen 3^ourself, Fanny. 

Fanny. Mebbe I will — when I gits good and ready. 
Who you talkin' to? 

Mr. Smith. Oh, I mean, won't you please go back 
to the kitchen. {To Dick.) You little black runt, get 
out of here this minute. 

Dick (trembling). I can't go. Boss, till I done gits — 

Mr. Smith (angrily). Can't go? I'll show you. 
(Takes hold of Dick's collar and tries to force him 
from room.) 

Dick (struggling and dropping box.) Be cahful of 
dat box, Mistah Smith. 

Mr Smith (kicking box to corner of room). 
That's what I'll do to you in a minute. 

Fanny. Treatin' mah company and mah presents 
in dat way! (Pushes Mr. Smith. He falls underneath 
table. She takes Dick's arm.) Dick, mah honey, did 
he hurt you? 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 9 

Dick. Oh, don't call me your honey. Tse done got 
me another girl. (Fanny pushes Dick out of door 
and leaz'es the stage weeping loudly.) 

Dick looks in the door. 

Dick. Mistah Smith, dose were aiggs in dat pack- 
age. De boss at the express office done tole me to 
be cahf ul of dem, but I 'spects you smashed ebery 
one. Serbs you right. Ha! ha! (Exit.) 

Mr. Smith (rising, rubbing head and arms). Oh, 
the eggs from the poultry house. What a shame ! Fif- 
teen dollars thrown away. {Brightening.) But, any- 
how, I keep my cook. I'll go out to the kitchen now 
and see if a five-dollar gold piece will dry her tears. 

Curtain. 



ADELE'S LESSON. 

characters. 

Adele. Jessie. 

Maggie. Frank. 

Veva. Walter. 

Scene: A street. Discovered, Aby.!.^ standing look- 
ing anxiously up the street. 

Enter Maggie. 

Maggie. Good morning, Adele. What are you doing 
here all by your lonesome? 

Adele {with importance). I'm waiting for some- 
one. 

Maggie. For whom? Clara? Why, she passed our 
house long ago. She must be at school by this time. 

Adele. I'm not waiting for Clara, or for any girl. 

Maggie. Oh, for a boy. Who? 

Adele. Jack Stevens. 

Maggie. Jack Stevens ! Any old day I'd wait on the 
street corner for him. 



10 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

Adele. Well, don't worry. You weren't asked to. 

Maggie. Smarty! Let me give you one pointer, 
though. Don't wait so long you'll be late at school. 
Remember no one in our room has a tardy mark yet 
and we'll have the banner next month. 

Adele. A lot I care about that ! 

Maggie. You ought to care. {Exit.) 

Adele. Ought I? Well, I don't. I have it in for 
Miss Kline, anyhow, and I'd be glad to make our room 
lose the banner. She had no business to make me 
stand half an hour on the floor just for writing a note 
to Jack. E^f^y Veva. 

Veva. Oh, I'm so glad to see you, Adele. I was 
afraid I was late for school, but maybe I'll be on time 
after all. Are you waiting for Clara? It will be all 
right if she hasn't passed as she is never tardy. 

Adele. Why does everyone have to think I'm wait- 
ing for Clara ? I wouldn't waste many minutes for her. 
I am waiting for Jack Stevens. 

Veva. Oh, excuse me. Don't wait for him too long, 
though. It's almost nine o'clock. 

Adele (crossly). You talk as if it would be some- 
thing terrible to be late for school. 

Veva. Well, it would be when there are only three 
more days in this month and our room will get the ban- 
ner if no one is tardy. I wouldn't run the risk of com- 
ing in after class has taken up just for the sake of 
walking a few blocks with Jack Stevens. I think it's 
silly to be always hanging around the boys, anyhow. 

Adele. Sour grapes ! 

Veva. Oh, it isn't sour grapes, either. You make 
me tired! (Exit.) 

Enter Frank and Walter. 

Frank. Why, there's Adele. Hello, Adele. Com- 
ing to school today? 

Walter. Oh, of course she is. No one would miss 
school now when there are only three more days and 
then our room will have the banner. Why, I had a 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 11 

chance to go to the ball game this afternoon with my 
uncle and I wouldn't, as I didn't want to lose half a 
day. 

Frank. Come and walk with us, Adele. May I 
carry your books ? 

Adele (stiffly). Thanks. But I am waiting for a 
friend. 

Frank. Oh, what a slam ! It's the last time I'll ask 
to carry your old books. 

Adele. You needn't. There are others. 

Walter. But they don't seem to be around. Who 
you waitin' for, Adele? 

Adele. That's for me to know and you to find out. 

Walter. Another slam ! Oh, catch me, Frank. I 
can't stand it. (Leans up against Frank.) 

Frank. Poor boy! Isn't she a cruel-hearted 
charmer? But (hurriedly), come on. We haven't a 
minute to lose. We must run all the way, and (to 
Adele), Adele, don't be late. (Exeunt Frank and 
Walter. ) 

Adele. I'll do as I please. (Looks up street.) 
There comes Jessie Phillips. Now, she'll want to know 

all about it. _ , _ 

Enter Jessie. 

Jessie. Why, I didn't expect to see any of the No. 
6 pupils this late on the way to school. I thought your 
room was trying for the banner. Are you waiting for 
some one? 

Adele. Yes, I am, if you have to know all about 
it. I'm waiting for Jack Stevens (Jessie laughs), and 
I don't care if our room gets the banner or not. What 
are you laughing at? 

Jessie (still laughing). You're waiting for Jack 
Stevens, you say? 

Adele. Yes. What's so funny about that? 

Jessie. Nothing — only this : As I passed his house 
he was just rushing down the lawn toward the gate 
and his mother after him as hard as she could go, and 
she caught him, too, just before he got out on the 



12 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

street — some runner she is for a lady of her size. 
What do you think she wanted him for? {Laughs.) 
She wanted to wash his ears. Oh, Adele, don't you 
think — (Adele hurriedly leaves.) Poor Adele! Per- 
haps this may be a lesson to her, though, to act Hke 
the little girl that she is and not always be trying to 
have a beau. I hope she is not late for school in addi- 
tion to her disappointment, or her classmates will 
make life miserable for her. 

Curtain. 



ANNA'S DOLL. » 

characters. 

Anna. Charlie. Billie. 

Scene: Lknng room. 

Enter Anna, carrying doll. Ifs head is tied iip. 

Anna. My poor baby is sick. She has a dreadful 

headache. {Places doll in buggy or on chair.) I have 

tied her head up with coal oil and maybe it will be 

better soon. Oh, there are those noisy boys coming. 

Enter Charlie and Billy. 

Anna. You boys must be very quiet. Mabel is 
sick and I want her to go to sleep. I am going now 
to make her some soup so we can have lunch when 
she wakes up. {Exit.) 

Billy. Is that Anna's doll that says ''Mamma"? 

Charlie. I don't know. {Looks around room.) 
I don't see my ball in here. Let's look upstairs. 

Billy {near doll). I never did hear it say 
''Mamma." How do you make it? 

Charlie. Oh, I don't know. You punch it in the 
middle, I believe. You don't want to play with a doll, 
do you? 

Billy. Pd like to hear it say "Mamma" once. 

Charlie {impatiently). Oh, well, Pll make it say 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 13 

''Mamma'' once and then maybe you'll come on. 
{Picks lip doll. Squeezes and punches it vigorously.) 
Why don't you talk, you old pie face? 

Billy. Let me try. 

Charlie. No, I'm going to make it talk first. 
{More efforts.) It's just acting stubborn. {To doll.) 
I'll box your ears. {Does so. Bandage and hair fall 
off. Boys laugh. Billy puts them back.) 

Billy. Better not let Anna know that. Go on and 
let me try to make her talk. {Tries to take doll from 
Charlie.) 

Charlie. No, I'm going to do it first. 

Billy. Let me. 

Charlie. No, leave go. 

Billy. Go on. Let me try. 

Charlie. No, let go, I tell you! (Pushes Billy. 
They struggle and pull arm off of doll. )Oh, now, see 
what you have done. 

Billy. Let's stick it back. {They try unsuccess- 
fully.) 

Charlie. We can't. Here, let's put her down and 
clear out. {They replace doll car ef idly.) Let's go to 
the barn. 

Billy. No, Uncle Will is out there. 

Charlie. Mamma is upstairs. Where will we go? 
Oh, there's Anna now. {Boys hide.) 

Enter Anna. She picks up doll; hair and arm fall 

off. 

Anna. Oh — oh — oh ! My poor baby ! What has 
happened to you? (Pause.) Those boys did this. 
Mamma, oh, Mamma! (E.i'it with doll, zveeping.) 

Charlie. Come on. Mamma will be here in a 
minute. 

Billy. I'm going home. 

Charlie. I'll go over and stay the rest of the day 
with you, then. Let's hurry. (They rush from room, 
looking backzvard over shoulders.) 

Curtain. 



14 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 



THE BRAVE PROFESSOR. 

characters. 

Professor Barton. Miss Cayton. Johnny. 

Scene: Dining room. Table is set for two. 

Enter Johnny^ swinging books by strap. 

Johnny. Just my luck! The first time this year 
that Aunt Mamie said I could go home with Jim 
Clark and stay all night and then he had to get sick 
and go home from school. {Glances at table.) Hello, 
what's this? (Pause.) Oh, I see now why Aunt Ma- 
mie was so willing to let me go to Jim's. Professor 
Barton — the old freak — is coming over for supper 
and they 4idn't want me in the way. Well, I like that ! 
Angel food cake — lemon pie — and that was chicken 
Annie was frying in the kitchen as I passed through. 
H'm — just look at all the style! The frosting on 
that pie must be two inches thick. I'm going to pick 
off those little mountains — the Professor don't get 
those. (Eats part of meringue from pie.) My, that 
tastes fine ! Hope there'll be a piece left for me. 
(Looks lip startled.) Oh, oh, they're coming in from 
the side porch. Oh, gracious, what will Aunt Mamie 
say? I didn't think it would show and she'll see it the 
first thing. She won't give me money to go to the 
circus tomorrow. (Thinks a moment.) Annie didn't 
see me as I came through the kitchen. Ell hide and 
they'll think the cat was on the table. They can't 
be going to eat yet. Ell slip out after they've passed 
through and go over to Tom Brown's. Oh, here 
they are. (Gets under table.) 

Enter Miss Cayton and Professor Barton. 

Miss Cayton. Why, Annie hasn't put the supper 
on yet. Just take a seat, Professor, and Ell step out 
and see what is the matter. I said five sharp. She 
must have been delayed. (Exit.) 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 15 

Professor {picking up spoon). Solid silver or Tm 
no judge. {Lifting glass.) Cut glass — finest quality. 
(Lifting cup.) China — this set cost no less than one 
hundred dollars. She must have money. What do I 
care for looks! I'm at the end of my row. I must 
get money some way. There's that nephew, though. 
He's not favorably disposed toward me, I know, but 
I think (takes out pocket mirror and surveys him- 
self complacently) — I think I can win the aunt in 
spite of a pert and forward nephew. 

Enter Miss Cayton. 

Miss Cayton (taking seat). Sit down, Professor. 
(He does so.) You must pardon the delay. Annie 
will bring on the supper immediately. She wasted too 
many minutes, I am afraid, talking to the grocer's 
boy. They are very good friends, you know. 

Professor. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. 

^Tn the spring a young man's fancy 
Lightly turns to thoughts of love." 
Ahem — would it be permissible, I wonder, for one 
who is no longer young, though (hastily) not old — 
of course not old at all — also to turn his thoughts to 
love? Miss Cayton, my dear madam, may I venture 
to ask if you grasp my meaning? 

Miss Cayton (in confusion). Why, Professor, I 
hardly know what to say. But here is Annie with the 
supper. 

Enter Annie, who places various dishes on table. 

Miss Cayton. Take a piece of chicken, Profes- 
sor. I hoped it is cooked to your liking. (Glances at 
pie.) Why, Annie, whatever is the matter with the 
pie? Could you — oh, could you, have let the cat get 
on the table? 

Annie. No, Miss Cayton, sure the cat couldn't 
have gotten on the table. (Looks at pie.) I can't 
imagine what's happened to it. But all the screen 
doors were fastened. The cat could not have gotten in. 



16 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

Miss Cayton. Well, take it away. Take it away. 
{Exit Annie with pie.) I am so ashamed, Professor. 

Professor. Don't mention it, my dear Miss Cay- 
ton — don't mention it. {Aside.) I must ask her today. 
My creditors are getting troublesome. 

Miss Cayton {aside). He called me his *'dear" 
Miss Cayton. {To Professor.) You don't know. Pro- 
fessor, all the trials and tribulations of my life. An- 
nie is a real good girl but still — 

Professor. Ah, yes, I know. You should have 
some one at hand always to sympathize with you — 
to protect you — one with a strong right arm, to ward 
off from you all the roses of life and leave nothing 
but the thorns — oh, — er, I mean the other way, of 
course. 

Miss Cayton. How beautifully you talk, Profes- 
sor. Such a one you would be, I am sure — strong 
and brave. I have heard so much of your bravery — 
how you spent the night alone in that haunted house. 
Were you not in the least frightened when you heard 
the rattling of the chains and the hollow groans? 

Professor {lattghing). Oh, not at all. On one of 
my tem^perament, the rattling of chains and hollow 
gToans make no impression at all. I simply waited 
till they were at their loudest and then calmly walked 
down to the cellar to investigate. Of course. Miss 
Cayton, I never boast, but I would Hke to see the 
chains or hear the groans (Johnny groans) why— - 
wh}^ — what was that? {Both look frightened.) 

Miss Cayton. It sounded like a groan! 

Professor. And it came right up from under the 
table! Miss Cayton, is your house haunted? If so, 
madam, I demand an explanation of why- — (Johnny 
groans again. Professor and Miss Cayton spring 
from their chairs.) There it is again! Where's my 
hat? {Starts to leave.) 

Miss Cayton {clasping his arm). But surely you'll 
not leave me, Professor. Consider — I'm all alone in 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 17 

the house with this dreadful groaning. It must be a 
ghost ! 

Professor {drazving away). Don't detain me. It's 
your ghost — not mine. Besides, you have Annie with 
you. Let me go. 

Miss Cayton {holding tighter). Annie just rushed 
out. Didn't you hear the door slam? I'll be left here 
all by myself with a ghost. 

Professor. Perhaps it's not a ghost. Anyhow, I 
must go. I have an important engagement. 

Johnny (m hollow tones). I am a spirit. Trifle 
not with me. 

Professor {breaking away). Madam, you ought 
to be sued for damages for keeping a ghost in your 
house. {Rushes from room.) 

Miss Cayton {zvringing her hands). What shall 
I do ? Oh, what shall I do ? 

Johnny. Fear not. This is a friendly spirit. 

Miss Cayton. \A^hat? What's that you say? Oh, 
if you are a friendly spirit, then go away. Vanish in 
a wreath of smoke like they do in the story books. 

Johnny. I can't do that, but if you promise not 
to harm me, I won't harm you. 

Miss Cayton. Harm you! Harm a ghost! How 
could I? 

Johnny. Then promise. Repeat after me: ''I 
promise not to harm you in any way under any 
circumstances." (Miss Cayton repeats the zvords 
solemnly. Johnny emerges from under table.) Now, 
remember, Aunt Mamie, you promised. 

Miss Cayton. Johnny! 

Johnny. Yes, it's me. And didn't I call the Pro- 
fessor's bluff? The old humbug! But don't look so 
funny, Aunt Mamie. You'd think I really was a 
ghost. 

Miss Cayton. Then it was only you under the 
table ? 

Johnny. Sure. Oh, didn't I put the run on the 
Professor! Oh, my! {Langhs.) 



18 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Miss Cayton. But what were you doing there? 
I thought you went over to Jim's. 

Johnny. That's where you wanted me to be so 
the Professor would have a clear field. But Jim was 
sick, so I came home, and I ate the mountains off your 
lemon pie and hid under the table, so's you wouldn't 
know who it was. 

Miss Cayton. Then it wasn't the cat after all. 
Well, Johnny — 

Johnny {anxiously). You promised you wouldn't 
punish me. No keeping me home from the circus, 
Aunt Mamie. 

Miss Cayton. Punish you! I feel that I owe you 
an everlasting debt of gratitude for showing up the 
Professor in his true colors. We'll attend that circus 
tomorrow, and we'll go early and stay late, and if we 
miss anything in the main tent or side show, it won't 
be my fault. I must go now and try to find Annie. 
I guess she's running yet. {Exit.) 

Johnny. Hurrah! Oh, isn't this a lucky ghost! 

Curtain. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 19 



BROTHER GRIDDEN'S VISIT. 

characters. 

Mrs. Rose Jimson. Mrs. May Greene. 

Mrs. Ca'line Brown. Pansy Pearl. 

Mrs. Jennie Thomas. 

Characters all colored and it zmll add to the humor 
of the dialogue to have the costvmies a trifle grotesque 
with a display of colors. 

Scene: Dining room. Discovered, Mrs. Jimson 
standing by table. 

Mrs. Jimson. I 'clare to gracious, dat Pansy Pearl 
gits slower ebery day. A snail is a race horse 'long 
side of her. A tarpin could give her a hundred yahds 
head start and win in a race, and dat sloth animal 
what moves a mile in sebben years is a pert beast. 
Enter Pansy Pearl with basket. , 

Mrs. Jimson. Oh, dere you are at last. I was just 
wonderin' if you were coming home today or were 
-going to wait till next week. 

Pansy Pearl. I had to get an awful lot, maw. 

Mrs. Jimson. Did you get ebery ting I done tole 
you? De spoons? 

Pansy Pearl. Yes, maw. 

Mrs. Jimson. An de plates? 

Pansy Pearl. Yes, maw. 

Mrs. Jimson. And de white table clof? 

Pansy Pearl. Yes, maw. 

Mrs. Jimson. An' you done tole ebery where dat 
de minister was comin' for supper? 

Pansy Pearl. Yes, maw. 

Mrs. Jimson. And you didn't say hit was just so 
he could get your paw to mend his boot ? You let dem 
tink hit was a regular visit? 

Pansy Pearl. Yes, maw. 

Mrs. Jimson. Den I reckon everyting is all right. 



20 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

You set de table, Pansy Pearl, while I dish up the 
supper. {Looks out window.) Well, did you ebber see 
de like? Dere's dat Ca'line Brown comin' up de path. 
I might a knowed she'd smell dat fried chicken way 
down to her house and nothing'd keep her from comin' 
over heah. Well, Pm not going to ask her to stay. 
Pse only got three fried chickens and Brother Grid- 
den am a powerful big eater. {Knock is heard.) Pse 
goin' to be mighty cool to her. {Opens door.) 

Enter Mrs. Brown fanning herself vigorously. 

Mrs. Jimson. Good aftah noon, Mis' Brown. I 
'spects you've come after that sunbonnet pattern. Pll 
get it right away and won't keep you waitin'.a min- 
ute. {Exit.) 

Mrs. Brown {indignantly). 'Pears to me she's 
mighty cahful 'bout my time. {To Pansy Pearl.) 
What's de matter wif you maw; she acts so funny? 
Is her haid all swelled up cause Brother Gridden am 
coming ovah for supper? 

Pansy Pearl. I dunno. {Aside.) If she lets maw 
hear her say anything 'bout a swelled haid, she'll be 
sorry — she'll wish she wore her fighting clothes up 

Enter Mrs. Jimson. 

Mrs. Jimson. Here's de pattern. Mis' Brown. 
{Hands it to her.) And Pse sorry you're in such a 
big hurry. Good bye. 

Mrs. Brown. Oh, Pse not in any big hurry. 
{Looks out zvindow.) Dere's Jennie Thomas and 
May Greene right by de gate. We can all have a nice 
little visit. My work is all done to home. 

Mrs. Jimson {aside). Of all things! Pse only got 
two pans of beaten biscuits, and last time May Greene 
was here she done eat sixteen all by herself. {Knock 
is heard. Pansy Pearl opens door.) 

Mrs. Brown. Come right in, ladies, and lay off 
your bonnets. 

Enter Mrs. Greene and Mrs. Thomas. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 21 

Mrs. Brown. Sit down and make yourselves right 
at home. {They take chairs.) 

Mrs. Jimson (aside). \\d\, is dis my house or 
hers. {To Mrs. Greene and Mrs. Thomas.) I 'spects 
you've come for dose patterns I promised you. I'll 
git dem right away and won't keep you waitin' a 
minute. It was hardly worth while takin' off your 
bonnets. {Exit.) 

Mrs. Greene. Seems to me she's actin' kind of 
funny. All puffed up, is she, cause the minister is to 
be here for supper? 

Pansy Pearl {aside). Oh, she'd better not let 
maw hear her say anything about being puffed up. 

Enter ]\Irs. Jimson zcith patterns, zvhicJi she hands 
to AIrs. Greene and Mrs, Thomas. 

Mrs. Jimson. There's de patterns. I'se sorry 
you're in such a big hurry. {With emphasis.) Good 
bye. 

Mrs. Thomas. Well, I like dat! Nobody but you 
am a talkin' 'bout being in a hurry. Just like tellin' 
us to git up and go home. 

Mrs. Brown. You might as well tell us straight, 
Rose Jimson. Don't you want us to stay here? 

Mrs. Jimson. \Yc\h some odder day will do just 
as well. {Knock is heard at rear door. Exit Pansy 
Pearl.) 

Mrs. Greene. Ah, ha ! Dat's it ! You think we're 
not good enough to eat with Brudder Gridden. All 
right. But if I go home, my spoons go with me. 
{Seizes them.) 

Mrs. Brown. If I'm not good enough to eat with 
de minister, my plates ain't either. {Picks them up.) 

Mrs. Thomas. My vvdiite linen table clof eats 
where I does. {Gathers it up.) 

Enter Pansy Pearl linth large bundle z^'hich she 
throzvs on table. 

Pansy Pearl. All our work for nothin'. Brudder 
Gridden just stopped at the back door and left his 



22 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

boots. Him and paw are goin' fishin' and paw 'lowed 
he didn't know when dey'd git back. 
• Mrs. Thomas. So he wasn't comin 'on any legu- 
lar visit, but just to git his boots mended? Oh, my! 
How some folks do put on airs ! 

Mrs. Brown. Let's go, ladies. Let's not stay 
where we ain't wanted. 

Mrs. Greene. Dat's right. Let's hurry away. Mis 
Jimson am goin' to eat wid de minister's boots. {Vis- 
itors laugh.) 

Mrs. Jimson. Ladies, I give in dat you got some 
right to feel offended, but Lve got three fried chick- 
ens, lots of sweet potatoes, six lemon pies and two 
pans of beaten biscuits out in de kitchen. You know 
with Brudder Gridden and my ole man dere would 
have been none to spare, but it will be a nice little 
snack for us. What you say? 

Mrs. Greene. Three fried chickens! Throw dem 
boots out in de back yahd. Pansy Pearl, and let's set 
de table. {Exit Pansy Pearl with boots.) 

Mrs. Jimson. Dat's right. Til go out in de kitchen 
and do de dishin' up. {Exit. Others set table.) 

Mrs. Thomas. Six lemon pies ! I do hope de min- 
ister doesn't come back. 

Mrs. Brown. Two pans of beaten biscuits! I 
hope he gits drowned — not wishin' him any harm, 
though. 

Mrs. Greene. Let's go out in de kitchen an' hurry 
along de dishin' up. 

Curtain. 



COUXTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 23 



CIRCUMSTAXTIAL EVIDENCE. 

characters. 

Bob. AA'ill. Charlie. 

Scene: Sitting room. Bob and Vile discoi'ered 
seated. 

Bob. But, Will, you don't want to give him the 
benefit of the least doubt. Everyone should be judged 
innocent till he is proved guilty. 

Will. Oh, those old sayings make me tired, and 
r.nyhow, if Tom Powers is not proved guilty already, 
no one ever was. It's silly even to have a trial, and 
if Frank Kane dies they ought to take him out and 
hang him. 

Bob. Hang him after he's dead? \Miat would be 
the use of that? 

AATll. You know very well what I mean. I don't 
see how you can try to be funny and maybe Frank 
dead right at this minute. . 

Bob. Isly sympathies are always more with the 
living than with the dead. Besides, my father says 
Frank will very likely get well. But anyhow I feel 
sure Tom Powers is not the one who hurt him. 

Will. You feel sure I Do you suppose your feel- 
nigs will have any weight considering all the evidence 
they have against him? Just think it all over for a 
minute. Tom Powers and Frank Kane go out to the 
woods to cut cedar to decorate the church. While out 
there they are overheard having a dreadful quarrel. 
Later on Frank is found with a terrible wound in the 
back of his head inflicted by Tom Powers' ax. Tom 
admits himself the deed was done with his ax. And 
where do they find Powers^ Ten miles away, just 
ready to take a train for Chicago. And now he won't 
talk — he's waiting for some lawyer to tell him what 
to say. I guess when a man has to have a lawyer tell 
his story for him he'd just as well ad^it he's guilty. 



24 , COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

Bob. Well, they only have circumstantial evidence 
against him and I don't believe in hanging on that and 
I never will. 

Will. You may believe what you please. You'll 
see what will happen to Tom Powers. Even if Frank 
doesn't die, he'll go to the penitentiary. 

Bob. Couldn't it have been some one else? You 
know there have been a number of tramps always 
hanging around since the new railroad was started. 

Will. Yes, but no tramp was down on that hill- 
side yesterday morning. There was a gang of section 
hands working along the track the whole day and 
someone would have seen him pass. And even you 
would hardly say that he could have gotten in from 
the other side with the river as full of floating ice 
as it is. No, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, you're wrong this 
time. You might as well take the view that everyone 
else does. You're just sticking up for Tom Powers 
to be contrary. What do you know about him, any- 
how? He's only been here two months. My father 
said everyone took up with him a whole lot too quick, 
and now they've found him out. I guess your sister 
Maggie will be sorry she turned her old beau down 
for him. 

Bob.' I don't know whether she will or not. Any- 
way, we're not talking about Maggie now, and I guess 
we'd better let the whole subject of who hurt Frank 
Kane drop or we will get into a quarrel. Time will 
tell which one of us is right. {Looks at box on table, 
lifts lid.) Got any candy left? 

Will. Oh, Bob, don't take any of that. There are 
only a few pieces left, and Charlie will raise all kinds 
of a racket. He was to get half, but some girls were 
in a while ago to see Mayme and I passed the candy 
around, and it's nearly all gone. 

Bob. Oh, that's all right. {Picks up book.) Say, 
is this a new book ? 

Will. Yes, and it's a fine story. I just finished 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 25 

it last night. You may read it and then give it to 
Ed Brown. 

Bob. Thanks. I'll start it now while we are wait- 
ing for the rest of the boys. 

Will {going to window). It looks like they'd 

hurry up and come. (Bob turns his back to table 

and becomes absorbed in book.) We won't get out on 

the ice till nearly dark if they don't show up pretty 

soon. ^ ^ ^ 

tnter Charlie. 

Charlie {aside). I'm going to get the rest of that 
candy now or he'll give it all away to the girls — the 
big molly. {Quietly approaches table; shozvs disgust 
at small quantity of candy in box; shakes his fist at 
Will; places candy in pocket; goes toward door.) I'll 
fix him for this, but I can't say anything now as I 
want to borrow some money from him tonight to go 
to the show. {Exit.) 

Will {still at zvindow). I guess Ed and Harry are 
hung up somewhere talking to the girls. Let's go 
without them. What do you say? {Receives no an- 
swer, turns round.) Oh, you're deep in that book 
now. Wish I'd hidden it till we got back. {Approaches 
table, picks up paper and reads for a moment orjzvo. 
Throws dozvn paper.) I'm going to get ready and go. 
I don't care what anyone else does. Better leave my 
watch here. {Places zvatch on table, glances into 
empty box.) Oh, say, Bob, what did you take that 
candy for after I told you not to? Charlie will just 
rave around now about not getting a taste of Aunt 
Mary's home made candy. You didn't eat it all, did 
you? Put back what you have in your pockets. 

Bob {surprised). What are you talking about? Eat 
your candy ! Put back what I have in my pockets ! 
I didn't take any of that candy. 

Will. Oh, come now, Bob ; of course you did. 
Where could it have gone to? Nobody in the room 
but us two and I was away over here by the window. 
If you're joking, put it back like a good fellow, but if 



26 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

you really want candy bad enough to steal it, why then 
go ahead and keep it. 

Bob {getting up and throwing down hook). I want 
you to understand, Will Johnson, that I didn't take 
that candy. 

Will. Who did, then? Did it take wings and fly 
away? 

Bob. We both had our backs turned toward the 
table. Someone could have come in quietly and taken 
it without us hearing. 

Will (sarcastically). Oh, yes. About the same way 
that someone besides Tom Powers could have gotten 
down in that field and hit Frank Kane in the back of 
the head with an ax. I guess you'll say circumstantial 
evidence again. 

Bob. Well, all I know is that I never took a piece of 
candy out of that box. 

Will. Then turn your pockets inside out and let 
me see. 

Bob (indignantly). I'll not. If you don't want to 
take my word for it, you don't have to. 

Will. Now, I know you've got that candy in your 
pocket and I'm going to take it away from you. 
(Starts toward Bob.) 

Bob (assuming fighting attitude). You come one 
step nearer me and I'll knock your head ofif. (Char- 
lie rvishes into room.) 

Charlie. Oh, boys, did you hear the news? (No- 
tices positions of boys.) But what's the matter? You 
two were not getting ready to fight, were you? 

Bob. Yes, we were. (To Will.) I've taken a lot 
from you, Will Johnson, but I've finished with you 
today. I don't know where that candy went and I 
don't care. I'm going home. When I get low enough 
to steal what candy I want — 

Charlie. Did he say you took the candy out of 
that box? Why, I took it. I came in here while you 
had your back turned, reading, and Will was at the 
window and got what was left, and it wasn't much 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 27 

more than a taste. I was afraid if I didn't hurry up 
Will would give it all to those silly girls. 

Bob. Now, what have you to say? 

Will. What can I say, Bob, but that I am sorry? 
I hope you will please forgive me. {Holds out his 
hand,) 

Bob {shaking hands). It's all right. Will, but don't 
believe too strongly in circumstantial evidence after 
this. Maybe you will agree now that probably Tom 
Powers is not guilty. 

Will. Now, Bob, just because I made one mis- 
take, you can't make me believe I'm wrong about Tom 
Powers. If there wasn't such good proof that he was 
the only one there — if he didn't do it, who did? 
Frank surely didn't hit himself — 

Charlie {excitedly). But that's just what he did 
do. Haven't you boys heard about it? Father just 
came home and told us. Frank has come to his right 
senses again and — 

Bob. He did it himself? Is that what — 

Will. How could he? How could anyone give 
himself a cut in the back of the head like that? 

Charlie. Of course he didn't go to do it and he 
isn't just sure how it happened, but he said he noticed 
some grape vines just back of where he was going 
to cut and thought they might give him trouble, but 
he swung his ax anyhow and the next thing he knew 
he was falling forward on his face. 

Bob. So it was a grape vine which knocked his ax 
forward and gave him that cut. Now, Will, you see 
how much Tom Powers had to do with it. 

Will. But what was the quarrel about, and why 
did Tom run away, and how about the ax? 

Charlie. They were not quarreling at all. They 
were going through a dialogue they intended as a sur- 
prise for the Christmas entertainment. And Tom 
wasn't running away. He wanted to get to Chicago. 
He had promised those taking part in the entertain- 
ment that he would see to getting the costumes and 



28 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

wigs and all they needed, but he forgot about it. He 
couldn't order them ; they need them tomorrow, so he 
just hurried over to Brownsville to catch the train. 
To a runner like he is, those few miles were nothing. 
He gave his ax to Frank before he left as it was 
sharper. He wouldn't say anything when questioned 
as he was hoping Frank would recover consciousness 
and explain everything himself. 

Bob. Now, Will, are you satisfied? 

Will. Yes, at last. And I'm sorry I was. so unjust 
to Tom. But I've learned a lesson. Never, never, 
will I say again that I believe in hanging on circum- 
stantial evidence. 

Bob. Good! I'm glad you're converted. Come on. 
Let's go down and see if they will allow us to see 

^^^"^^- Curtain. 



COUSIN IMOGENE'S DINNER. 
characters. 
Mrs. Willis. Emma. 

Mr. Willis. Frank. 

Mrs. Fisher. Tom. 

Lizzie. Peddler. 

Scene: Kitchen; table on which are three baked 
pie crusts, rolling pirn, flour, etc. Discovered, Mr. 
and Mrs. Willis. Mrs. Willis hustling about. 

Mr. Willis. I declare I dont see where my pipe 
could have gone. Its a funny thing I can never lay 
it down but somebody's got to hide it. Looks like 
they could keep their fingers ofif what don't belong 
to them. {Looks in cupboard.) 

Mrs. Willis. It's not there, pa. Now, don't you 
go rummagin' round and knockin' things over. I 
guess it's in one of your pockets like it generally is. 

Mr. Willis {searching pockets). No, it isn't. 
Can't you help me look for it, Jennie? 

Mrs. Willis {indignantly). Jasper Willis, do you 



i 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 29 

think IVe got time to look for an old pipe when I'm 
getting dinner for Chicago company? You go on out 
to work and keep yourself out of the way. 

Mr. Willis. But I know I'll nearly die for a 
smoke out in the woods and I won't have my pipe. 

Mrs. Willis {opening door). Go on, I tell you. 
Standing here bothering about an old pipe when it's 
your fault. I haven't time to get ready for Cousin 
Imogene. If you had given me that letter when you 
got it from the postoffice I would have my prepara- 
tions all made. 

Mr. Willis. But, Jennie, sure I hate to go with- 
out my pipe. 

Mrs. Willis {pushing him from room). Pipe! 
Don't let me hear that word again. Now, whatever 
shall I do first ? Oh, yes ; these pies. It's lucky we 
have some lemons in the house. {Glances out of zmn- 
dow.) Well, if there isn't Mrs. Fisher coming! Of 
course she had to pick out today for her visit! Well, 
she's got to come in here in the kitchen with me. I 
do hope she doesn't stay for dinner. {Opens door.) 
Come right in, Mrs. Fisher. 

Enter Mrs. Fisher. 

Mrs. Willis. I didn't let you go around to the 
front door as I have some baking to do and I thought 
I could entertain you just as well in the kitchen. Lay 
ofif your bonnet and take a chair. 

Mrs. Fisher. No, I won't lay off my bonnet and 
I won't take a chair, neither, but I can say just as 
well what I want to say in the kitchen as any other 
room, though it's not where I entertain my company. 

Mrs. Willis. Why, I didn't think you'd mind sit- 
tin' in the kitchen a while. Come on in the front 
room {aside) if you're so particular. 

Mrs. Fisher. No, I don't care to. I didn't come 
over for a visit, anyhow. I just wanted to tell you 
that after this you can keep your boys at home. I 
don't want them to come over to my house any more. 



30 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

Mrs. Willis {surprised). Well, why not? What 
have they been doing ? I thought they were over there 
now. Aren't they? 

Mrs. Fisher. No, they're not. They sneaked off 
home after they pretty near killed my poor little 
Freddie and George. They came in with scratches all 
over their faces. Your boys are a whole lot bigger 
than mine are. It's a wonder they couldn't pick out 
some their own size. They are cowards — that's what 
they are. 

Mrs. Willis {getting angry). Oh, see here, Mrs. 
Fisher, they are not cowards, either, and I don't be- 
lieve they went over there and hurt your boys. Here 
they are. I'm going to ask them. 

Enter Tom and Frank. 

Mrs. Willis. Did you boys fight with Freddie and 
George Fisher? Their ma says you scratched their 
faces and made them cry. 

Frank. Oh, they scratched their own faces down 
at the blackberry patch. 

Mrs. Willis {to Mrs. Fisher). Now, you see. 

Mrs. Fisher. I don't believe it. 

Tom. Well, it's so, anyhow. We did make them 
cry, but it was their own fault. They wanted to 
wrestle with us and we wouldn't do it for a long time 
'cause they aren't as big as we are, but they kept on 
daring us and at last we started. Of course we threw 
them right away and then they ran in crying — the big 
babies ! 

Mrs. Fisher. It's not so. You fit with them and 
hurt them and you'd better keep away from my house 
after this. 

Mrs. Willis. You needn't be afraid but what they 
will, Fanny Fisher, I never cared for them to asso- 
ciate with your boys, anyhow. 

Mrs. Fisher. Do you mean to tell me — 
Enter Lizzie. 
' Lizzie. Well, ma, I got the upstairs a little in 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 31 

order now and — why, good morning, Mrs. Fisher. I 
didn't see you at first. (Mrs. Fisher turns her head 
away.) What in the world is the matter? 

Mrs. Willis. She's mad 'cause she thinks Frank 
and Tom hurt her boys. 

Lizzie. And did she come over here just to fuss! 
Oh, bother ! We haven't time this morning when we 
are looking for company from Chicago. 

Mrs. Fisher {sarcastically). Oh, we're going to 
have company from Chicago, are we? I guess I'd 
better be going then. 

Mrs. Willis. Well, maybe you'd just as well, Mrs. 
Fisher, as we are a little rushed this morning, any- 
way. 

Mrs. Fisher {to Tom and Frank, angrily). But 
before I go, I tell you — you — you little Indians — if I 
ever catch you in my yard again, I'll — I'll — I'll bite 
you. {Exit Mrs. Fisher. Tom and Frank laugh.) 

Mrs. Willis. Hush ! She'll hear you. But I don't 
care much if she does. The idea of her being so silly 
about her boys. Why don't she let them take up for 
themselves? But we haven't time to talk about her. 
It's getting late. Lizzie, you go and sweep off the 
front porch, and you boys go and catch some chickens. 
{Exeunt Lizzie, Tom and Frank.) Now, I must see 
about making the filling for my pies. It's too bad one 
crust burnt, but there will, be enough. 
Enter Emma. 

Emma. Ma, there's a peddler at the front door. 
Do you want to buy anything? 

Mrs. Willis. Well, Emma Willis, do you think 
I have time to look at the trash in a peddler's pack 
this morning when I'm so busy? 

Enter Peddler. 
Peddler. Not trash, lady. All very nice goods. I 
show you. {Places pack on floor and opens it.) 
Mrs. Willis. Well, how did you get in here? 
Peddler. I walk in, lady, behind the little girl. 



32 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Mrs. Willis. Well, you just walk out again behind 
the little girl. I haven't time to look at your stuff. 

Peddler. Oh, it take not very much time, lady. 
All very nice goods — all bargains. {Holds up card of 
buttons,) Need some buttons, lady? I sell cheap — 
this card for eight cents — it cost you ten cents at store. 

Mrs. Willis. Eight cents! The idea! I can get 
buttons like that at Smith's any day in the week for 
five cents. You pack up and go. I tell you I'm busy. 
(Starts to grate lemon.) 

Peddler {holding up articles mentioned). Some 
shoe laces, lady? A pair of side combs? Very cheap 
— only seventy-five cents. 

Mrs. Willis. Seventy-five cents for those miser- 
able side combs ! You're a robber ! 

Peddler. But, lady — 

Mrs. Willis. No, I don't want to hear any more. 
I tell you I'm busy. Gracious me! Was a person ever 
so beset ! Here I no more than get rid of Fanny Fisher 
till a peddler comes in. Just look what time it is! 
Cousin Imogene will be here before I have dinner 
started. 

Peddler. Need some face powder, lady? You're 
so red in the face. Sure you need some nice white 
face powder. 

Mrs. Willis {in great indignation). Well, if that 
isn't the last straw! No wonder I'm red in the face 
with all I have to bother me. You get out of my 
kitchen ! Come, hurry up ! Tie up that pack and walk 
right ovit of here. 

Peddler. But, lady, you no see all my nicest goods, 
my laces, my silk waist goods, my table cloths. 

Mrs. Willis {losing patience, seises rolling pin, 
taps him on head). Will you or will you not go? 
(Peddler in great alarm seizes pack and rushes from 
room, overturning chairs. Mrs. Willis follows zvith 
rolling pin.) 

Emma. Oh, the poor fellow! I hope ma won't hurt 
him. I did so want to see what he had in his pack. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. ?>Z 

Mrs. Willis returning flushed but triumphant. 

Mrs. Willis. Emma Willis, you g-o and see if those 
boys have got the chickens, and if you see another 
peddler or anybody else coming, you just call me and 
ril see if they get in or not? {Exit Emma.) 

Enter Mr. Willis. 

Mrs. Willis. Now, what are you doing back here 
again? Why aren't you out with Jim? You know he 
never does do a lick of work- unless you are along. 

Mr. Willis. Why, I thought I'd wait and carry 
out lunch. It's most time. 

Mrs. Willis. Do you think I'm going to stop and 
fix lunch for you and Jim Johnson when I'm nearly 
crazy trying to get dinner ready for Cousin Imogene? 
You go back to the field. I must see if those children 
are catching the chickens. It's time they were on to 
cook. {Exit.) 

Mr. Willis. .Well, it's kind of tough on a man to 
have to do without his smoke and his lunch both the 
same morning. I wonder where that pipe can be. 
{Searches for it. Sees pie crust on table.) I guess 
this is some pie crust Jennie had left over from her 
pies. Well, it's not much of a lunch, but it might keep 
me from fainting till dinner time. {Breaks pie crust 
into pieces, eats some.) It doesn't taste very well, but 
anything to keep from starving. I'll take one out to 
Jim. {Breaks another crust into pieces and is put- 
ting them in pockets zvhen — ) 

Mrs. Willis enters. 

Mrs. Willis {throzinng up her hands). Oh, oh, 
oh! Jasper Willis, what have you done? 

Mr. Willis {startled). Why, what's the matter, 
Jennie? I was just eating a little of the pie crust that 
you had left over — 

Mrs. Willis. Left over! Those were my pies. 
What on earth will I do now? What will I have for 
dessert? 



34 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Mr. Willis. Why, make some more. YouVe got 
plenty of material, haven't you? 

Mrs. Willis. Yes, but no time. 

Mr. Willis (cheerfully). Oh, well, maybe she 
wouldn't like pie. I don't care for it very much my- 
self. 

Mrs. Willis. But I've got to have something for 
dessert. 

Mr. Willis. Make a bread pudding. I'm fond 
of bread pudding. 

Mrs. Willis. A bread pudding! Jasper WilHs, 
do you want to drive me stark, raving mad ? Eat my 
pie crust and then stand there and tell me to make 
bread pudding for Chicago company? You leave this 
kitchen! Go out to the barn till it's time for you to 
fix up to go to the station to meet Cousin Imogene. 
(Glances at clock.) Gracious! It's time already. Go 
up stairs and put on your Sunday clothes. 

Mr. Willis. Oh, Jennie, I don't want to go to 
the station to meet her. She'll be so stylish she'll be 
ashamed of me. Can't you go? I'll hitch up the horse 
for you. (Mrs. Willis glares at him; he fidgets 
uncomfortably.) 

Mrs. Willis. No, indeed ; I can't go. You are 
going and when you meet Cousin Imogene I want 
you to be polite. You raise your hat with your left 
hand and shake hands with your right and say, 
"Cousin Imogene, you're welcome," and when she 
asks you how the folks are you say, 'Thank you. 
Cousin Imogene, they're all well except Lizzie, who 
is troubled with nervous prostration. 

Mr. Willis (alarmed). Why, is Lizzie sick? I 
didn't know it. When was she took? Is she very 
bad? Are you doing anything for her? 

Mrs. Willis. Oh, don't be a goose. There's noth- 
ing the matter with her, but it's the style to have ner- 
vous prostration, isn't it? And if Cousin Imogene 
h^as a bag or a bundle you must offer to carry it for 
her, and coming up the street you must walk on the 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 35 

outside and every lady you meet you must tip your 
hat, and if you meet any men and they have the man- 
nerS\to raise their hats, which I doubt, you must tip 
yours. (Mr. Willis laughs.) Now, what do you 
think is so funny? 

Mr. Willis. Why, I was just thinking how Sid 
Morris or Jim Brown would look if I tipped my hat 
to them. 

Mrs. Willis. Oh, if you meet them, you don't 
have to speak at all. 

Mr. Willis. What! Not speak to two of my best 
friends that Fve known ever since I was a boy — that 
always stood by me and never — 

Mrs. Willis. Oh, well, don't give us a regular 
sermon. Speak to them if you want to, but don't let 
Cousin Imogene see you if you can help it. And on 
your way up you must point out the places of inter- 
est — the new school house and the Baptist Church, 
and then you must give her a chance to talk about 
Chicago and you can ask something about Michigan 
Avenue and Lincoln Park so as not to let her think 
you are ignorant, and then — 

Mr. Willis. Oh, stop, Jennie. Stop! I'm all 
mixed up as it is. 

Mrs. Willis. It's too bad about you. Let me hear 
what IVe told you so far to see if you've got it 
straight. 

Mr. Willis. I don't remember a word of it. 

Mrs. Willis. Well, oughtn't I to be pitied for 
having such a man ! 

Mr. Willis. Oh, don't take it so hard, Jennie. 
I'll get along all ri^-ht. I'll take off my hat — 

Mrs. Willis. You don't take it off. You only 
raise it. 

Mr. A^^illis. And I shake hands and — and — 

Mrs. Willis. And what do you say? 

Mr. Willis. I say — er — er — I say, ''Cousin Imo- 
gene, how do you come on?" 

Mrs. Willis. What ! Do you mean to tell me that 



36 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

you intend to say, ''How do you come on?" to Cousin 
Imogene? Haven't I been trying to break you of that 
for the last twenty years? 

Mr. Willis. Well, what was it you told me to say? 

Mrs. Willis. I told you to say, ''Cousin Imogene, 
you're welcome." 

Mr. Willis. Oh, well; all right. "Cousin Imo- 
gene, you're welcome" (three times.) 

Mrs. Willis. And if she asks you how we all are, 
what must you say ? 

Mr. Willis {brightly). Oh, I remember that. 
"We're all well, Cousin Imogene, thank you, except 
Lizzie, who is troubled with nervous prostration. 
There's nothing the matter with her, but then it's the 
style to have nervous prostration." 

Mrs. Willis {helplessly) . Oh, dear! 

Mr. Willis. Well, wasn't that right? I said it just 
word for word like you told me. 

Mrs. Willis. You mustn't say anything about it 
being the style to have nervous prostration. 

Mr. Willis. Oh. 

Mrs. Willis. Now, say it right. 

Mr. Willis. Oh, let me go, Jennie. I'll be late for 
the train. I'll get along all right. 

Mrs. Willis. You say it right before you go. 

Mr. Willis. I can't. I forgot it. 

Mrs. Willis. Say it, I tell you. Come, hurry up. 

Mr. Willis. I can't. I don't remember a, word 
of it. You got me all excited. 

Mrs. Willis. Jasper Willis, don't trifle with me. 
I'll give you one minute to say it in. 

Mr. Willis {sullenly). We're all well, Cousin 
Imogene, hang you — er — er — thank you, except Liz- 
zie, who has prostrated nerves — oh, I mean — I mean 
— oh, I don't know what I mean. 

Mrs. Willis. Oh, well, if you can't learn it, say 
we're all well. Poor Lizzie and Emma never can be 
stylish with you. Now, go up stairs and fix up and 
then straight to the station. I'll have to trust to luck 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 37 

that you don't disgrace yourself, but it's more than I 
hope for. {Exit Mr. Willis.) I don't beheve those 
chickens are caught yet, and I won't have time to 
make any more pie dough. One miserable crust is all 
the dinner I have fixed. Oh, I wish Cousin Imogene 
would^ stay at home! {Drops into chair, buries her 
face in apron.) 

Enter Mr. Willis. 

Mr. Willis. Well, then, Jennie, you've got your 
wish. She isn't coming. Here's a postal I got down 
at the office this morning and forgot to give to you. 
I found it just now in my pocket. She says she thinks 
it's too hot to travel and she won't take that trip till 
September and then she'll stop ofif and take dinner 
with us. 

Mrs. Willis {rising). What! She's not coming! 
And Tve had all my worry and trouble for nothing. 
Why didn't you give me that postal as soon as you 
got it? And I guess those children have killed all the 
chickens on the place and now we won't need them. 
(Starts tozvard door.) And Fanny Fisher will tell it 
all over that we were expecting company from Chi- 
cago and they didn't come. Oh, oh, oh! Did anybody 
ever have the trouble I have? (Leaves zvith apron to 
face.) 

Mr. Willis (puzzled). And I thought she'd be 
glad. She just got through saying she wished Cousin 
Imogene would stay at home. (Shakes head, looking 
down.) Women are queer. (Looks tozvard audience.) 
Now, don't you think they are queer? 

Curtain. 



38 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 



CREAM PUFFS. 

characters. 

Hattie. Agnes. 

Irene. Miss Etta. 

Floy. 

Scene : School room. Girls are seated at desk 
reading. 

Floy {closing book). IVe stood it as long as I 
can. I'm going to talk. {Other girls look up in sur- 
prise. Shake heads and place fingers at lips.) I don't 
care. I have to say something or I'll go crazy. Here 
I've been sitting in perfect silence for half an hour 
and it seems like a week. I was a goose to promise 
Miss Etta to spend the afternoon here in perfect si- 
lence, instead of going to Miss Morton and taking 
my medicine like a man — I mean like a woman — or 
like a girl, I should say. We didn't do anything 
— just sent out and got a little lunch, sausage and 
apple butter, and pigs' feet, and pie. Julia Barnes 
is a good one. She walked right past Miss Morton 
with those pies buttoned up in the front of her cloak 
and never batted an eye. But we lost out on the cream 
puffs. I'll never forgive Clara Carr for not bringing 
them in. I bet she spent the money on herself. {Girls 
look shocked and shake heads.) Oh, I wish you 
would talk. {Pebble is thrown against window or 
some other signal is given.) What's that? Oh, some 
one is outside and wants us. {Girls crowd to zvin- 
dow.) Oh, I take it all back. There is Clara Carr 
with the cream puffs now. {Takes bag.) Thanks 
ever so much, Clara. I'll do you a favor some day. 
Must you hurry away? Well, good-bye. Don't let 
Miss Morton see you. {Girls resume seats.) Now, 
girls, these cream puffs are to be had lor the asking. 
(Girls hold out their hands pleadingly.) Ask for 
them. Say "please." {Girls remain silent.) You 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 39 

won't, then? Honor before cream puffs, is it? All 
right. I'll enjoy one or two myself. (Spreads cream 
puffs in tempting array on desk. Proceeds to eat. 
Girls stand around ga::ing on hungrily. Floy shozt's 
every evidence of enjoying lunch. Holds out cream 
puffs to different girls occasionally and says, ''Say 
please and yon can have one!' This may he continued 
indefinitely.) 

Hattie {finally). Please give me one. (Floy joy- 
fully hands her one.) Honor is all right, but self- 
preservation is the first law of nature and Fm starv- 
ing. (Eats.) 

Irene. Here too. Please give me one. 

Floy (handing her one). Hurrah! Now, Agnes, 
join the ranks of the dishonorable. (Agnes tnrns her 
hack and zvalks to zvindozv.) You won't, eh? Oh, 
well, there's that many more for the rest of us. 

Girls, except Agnes, finish first and have just 
picked up second zvhen Miss Etta enters with pack- 
age in hand. Girls ztrap cream puffs in handkerchiefs 
and hold them hehind their hacks. 

Miss Etta. Girls, I have just received such a de- 
lightful letter from Professor Newton. He praises 
the school in every respect — says the evidence of. schol- 
arship is indeed all that could be desired, and from 
his own observation and from what he hears from 
parents of pupils here, he is sure the moral training 
is most excellent. I am very much gratified. And 
now I will excuse you from staying here the rest of 
the afternoon. Of course you did w^rong but you 
have made amends by keeping silence, which I am 
sure you found hard, but I needn't ask you if you did 
keep silence. You gave me your word and I know 
you would not break it. (Girls, except Agnes, look 
shamefacedly at one another.) And since you missed 
your lunch you must have some of this candy which 
an old pupil of mine insisted on buying for me while 
I was down town. (Miss Etta unzvraps package, 
opens box and offers candy to girls, zvho keep hands 



40 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

behind backs. Miss Etta is surprised.) Why, girls, 
What is the meaning of this? It can't be that you 
have lost your taste for candy, and don't let me think 
that you are going to act sullenly because you were 
punished this afternoon. I would be very much dis- 
appointed if I thought such were the case. Once 
more I offer you some candy. (Knock is heard. 
Miss Etta steps to door, returns in a moment.) I 
am called to the office now on important business. I 
will leave the candy here and expect that you will 
enjoy it. You girls have never resented a punishment 
before. Don't start now. (Exit.) 

Floy. Well, girls, how do you feel? I never had 
as little opinion of myself in my life as I have now. 
To think Miss Etta trusted us like that and we didn't 
keep silence at all. It's my fault. I'm sorry I per- 
suaded you. 

Hattie. Oh, we didn't need much begging. We 
could have turned away as Agnes did if we wished. 

Irene. What will we do now ? I'll feel mean every 
time I look at Miss Etta. 

Floy. So will I. I guess we'll have to own up. 
Come on. We'll wait for her as she leaves the office. 
And, Agnes, we'll tell her you didn't talk. 

Agnes. Thank you, girls. I'll be glad if you do. 
I couldn't bear it if I thought Miss Etta would believe 
I didn't keep my word to her. But don't 'be afraid. 
She will forgive you when you own up. 

Irene. Well, let's hurry and have it over with. 
My, the way of the transgressor is hard. 

Floy. We might as well finish these cream puffs. 
They got us into this fix. (They walk across stage 
eating cream puffs, taking turns giving a bite to 
Agnes.) 

Curtain. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 41 



THE EDITOR'S MAIL. 

CHARACTERS. 

Mr. Bixby, The Editor. Abe Jones. 

Mrs. Bixby. Jim. 

Scene: Editor's sanctum. Discovered, Editor, 
seated with paper in hand. 

Editor. This week's issue of the Placerville Ga- 
zette will make a stir. I've rubbed it into some people. 
But then they can't expect to be in public life without 
hearing from the press. That representative of ours 
was getting a little too sleepy up there at Washing- 
ton. He'll wake up when he reads what I've said. I 
hated to sling it into the President, but then he hasn't 
been going after the trusts quite lively enough to suit 
me. He has to take his medicine, too. Everyone 
looks alike to the editor of the Placerville Gazette. 
But it's wearing work getting out a paper. I'll have 
to have a little stimulant. (Puts on hat and leaves.) 

Enter Jim with mail. 

Jim. Wonder where the old man has gone? Here's 
his mail. (Deposits it on table.) A letter there from 
the Union Paper Co. — another dun, I bet. The chief 
better pay his debts or we'll be put out of business. 
(Looks at window.) I'm not goin' to wash those win- 
dows. That's his latest freak notion. Why, these win- 
dows never have been washed and what's the use of 
always starting things? But I'll get a pail of water 
and a sponge in case he's frisky when he gets back. 
(Exit.) 

Enter Abe Jones zvith package. 

Abe. No one here. Well, I can't wait. I'll leave it 
here on the table. (Puts package on table.) The old 
lady said it was for Mrs. Bixby and most particular. 
I couldn't understand what she said was in it. But I 



42 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

can^t walk way out to their house this hot day. Til 
leave it here and the editor can take it when he goes 
home for supper. It has her name on it. {Exit.) 

Re-enter Jim zvith pail of water and sponge. De- 
posits them on floor. Takes hook from pocket. 

Jim. If he means business when he gets back, Til 
wash his old windows, but in the meantime Til enjoy 
life while I can. {Goes to corner of stage and he- 
comes ahsorhed in hook.) 

Enter Editor. 

Editor (seating himself at table). Ah, here is the 
daily mail. I suppose there will be some remonstrances 
against the vigorous policy I pursue in my paper, 
but I ''hew to the line, let the chips fall where they 
may.'' (Opens letters, making the following re- 
marks:) Oh, those paper people make me tired. Al- 
ways bothering about their bill. Here's Jones wanting 
his subscription cancelled because I didn't tell about 
his birthday party. Hang Jones and his birthday ! 
How did I know they surprised him? Why didn't 
they invite me? And here's Bill Smithers wanting me 
to insert a notice that the Thompson children are not 
to walk across his field going to school. My, my, 
they must be having a jolly row on out there. And 
Wash Rollins wants it stated that he won't be respon- 
sible for any debts contracted in his name. Well, he 
should worry ! He can't get credit himself for ten 
cents' worth of tobacco at any store in town. (Opens 
last letter.) But — but — what's this? (Springs from 
chair and reads, tremhling and stuttering.) "You 
must cease your attacks on our party at once or you 
will be done to death. We have plenty of bombs and 
infernal machines in stock. Signed, The Party of 
Lincoln." (Drops letter.) Oh, this is awful! My 
life's not safe. Any day I may be blown to pieces. 
I'll get it in the mail and open it without thinking, 
and the first thing I know I'll be in a million pieces. 
(Sees hox on table, jumps.) What's that on the table 



COUXTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 43 

there? How did it get there? Jim! Jim! (Jim comes 
from corner reading.) 

Jim. What's the matter? What's the row, any- 
how? 

Editor. How did that box get there? AMio put 
it there ? \\^hat's in it ? 

Jim. I don't know. I never saw it before. AMiat's 
the matter? Are you scared of it? 

Editor. It's an infernal machine sent by my ene- 
mies. It has a clock work arrangement and it will 
go off and blow the whole building sky high. 

Jim {starting for door). Let's get out of here 
then. 

Editor. But if it blows up the building, I'll lose 
everything I have. You take it and throw it out the 
window. 

Jim. I won't do it. What do you take me for? 

Editor. I'll give you five dollars. 

Jim. That's a lot of money. Oh, I know. {Seizes 
box and hurls it into pail of zcater.) I've saved the 
day! It always says in the books that the detec- 
tive placed the suspicious looking package in water. 
Where's my five dollars ? 

Editor. All right, Jim ; all right. You're a brave 
boy. You've saved my life and also my property. 
You shall have your five dollars {aside) if I have 
that much. {Searches pockets and table and after 
much difficnlty counts out four dollars and thirty 
cents.) 

Jim. That's all right, Mr. Bixby. \Ye'\\ call it 
square. (Aside.) The easiest money I've made in a 
long time. 

Enter Mrs. Bixby. 

Editor. Lizzie, I've just had a most terrible shock. 
Some enemy, alarmed at the influence my paper is 
wielding, sent me an infernal machine. I might have 
been blown to pieces in an instant, only Jim, with 
great presence of mind, threw the box into that pail 



44 • COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

of water. I must start an investigation immediately. 
It's a nice state of affairs if an editor can't speak 
out plainly without endangering his life. 

Mrs. Bixby. Oh, George, won't you ever get over 
being a goose? Haven't you heard of the gang of 
mischievous boys who have been sending infernal ma- 
chines and black hand letters to all the business men 
in town? {Exit Jim.) And you're the only one 
they've fooled. Why did you let Jim know about it? 

Editor. Why, I had to offer him five dollars be- 
fore he'd touch it. 

Mrs. Bixby. You gave that young rascal five dol- 
lars? Why, he's the ring leader of the whole crowd. 
If you'd pay more attention to affairs at home and 
forget Washington, you'd do better. But I'm in a 
hurry. I came after my canary. Where is it? . 

Editor. Your canary! Why, it isn't here. You 
left it out at your mother's, didn't you? 

Mrs. Bixby. Yes, but mother 'phoned she was 
sending it in by Abe Jones, and I saw him on the 
street a few moments ago and he said he left it here. 
Weren't you in? Didn't you see anything of it? 
Mother said she put him in a pasteboard box with air 
holes in it, but I'm afraid the poor little darling isn't 
comfortable and I want to take him home. Abe said 
he left the box on your table. Where can it be ? 

Editor {frightened). Why, Lizzie, maybe — maybe 
, — you know I got that letter and then I saw that box 
on the table and — 

Mrs. Bixby. George Bixby, don't tell me you 
threw my bird into that pail of water! {Rushes over 
to bucket, takes out box, tears it apart and holds 
up dead bird; an artificial bird zuill do). See what 
you've done. Look at your work. {Weeps over 
bird.) Oh, Dicky, my darling, did they kill you? My 
poor, poor little bird ! 

Editor {hesitating). Lizzie, I'm — I'm sorry. I'll 
get you another bird. 

Mrs. Bixby. Don't say that ! Don'f talk about re- 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 45 

placing Dicky. IVe had him ever since I was a girl. 
Oh, you — you murderer ! Just wait till I get you home 
and I'll tell you what I think of you. (Exit zvee ping.) 
Editor (shaking his head). She'll tell me what she 
thinks of me when she gets me home. I kind of wish 
that infernal machine had been the real genuine ar- 
ticle. I'd rather be blown up by it than blown up by 
Lizzie. 

Curtain. 



THE ESCAPED BEAR. 

characters. 

Clyde. Ella. 

Minnie. ~ Jessie. 

Sadie. Bertha. 

Uncle John. 

Scene: Living room. Discovered, Clyde seated, 
reading. 

Clyde (throzving down book). Of all the silly sto- 
ries ! I wish Aunt Mary would give me the money 
after this instead of trying to buy a book for me. 
All about a boy who made his fortune because he 
was so kind-hearted and never hurt anyone's feel- 
ings. Wouldn't play a joke on his sister because she'd 
cry. Always let the little girls tag along and used to 
shake down apples and nuts for them and never, never 
kept the nicest apples for himself. (Looks tozvard 
door.) Oh, pshaw! Talk about — angels, I suppose, 
and they'll appear. Here's Minnie bringing in a crowd 
of girls. Why couldn't she keep them out in the din- 
ing room? Now she'll want me to work the grapho- 
phone for the rest of the afternoon. I'm going to hide 
and maybe I'll get a chance to slip out. I wish those 
girls would stay at home. They're always over, any- 
how. (Gets under table.) 



46 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Enter girls. 

Minnie. Oh, I thought Clyde was here. I won- 
der where he can be. Now there's no one to play 
and we have a whole lot of new records. You girls 
just wait and I'll go up stairs and see if he's in his 
room. He has a sore throat. That's why mamma 
wouldn't let him. go out with the rest of the boys. 
{Exit. Girls take chairs.) 

Sadie. None of you girls have said a word about 
my new dress. Don't you like it? 

Bertha. Why, it's too pretty for anything. But 
I thought you said you were going to get a wine col- 
ored. 

Sadie. No, mamma thought that would be too 
dark. 

Ella. I like the way it's made. Mine is going to 
be made something like that only I want a row of 
buttons down the front. 

Jessie. Better not have buttons. They are going 
out of style. 

Ella. Oh, no, they're not. Mamma read in the 
Delineator last night that buttons were to be used 
more than ever this coming season. 

Bertha. I'm going to get a new dress, too. But 
mamma doesn't know what color yet. She is thinking 
of getting tan and having it trimmed with yellow. 

Sadie. Oh, that would never do. Tan and yellovv^ 
don't go together at all. 

Clyde {peering out). Is Minnie never coming? 
How much more of this dress stuff do I have to listen 
to? 

Bertha. Well, maybe it wasn't yellow she said. 
Anyhow, it's to be pretty because it's for Lily Car- 
son's party. 

Sadie. Oh, that's next Thursday, isn't is? My, 
I wish the time would hurry up. Everything is so 
nice at Lily's and we're going to have dancing at 
this party. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 47 

Ella. I hope Tom Clark will be there. He can 
dance better than any other boy. 

Jessie. I hope mamma won't know that there will 
be boys there and that they will have dancing or she 
might not let me go. 

Bertha. Oh, there will be just a few of the boys 
from right around here — Tom, George, Dave, Harry 
and Clyde. 

Sadie. Clyde is a good dancer, isn't he? {All 
laugh.) 

Clyde {aside). I'll pay her for that. Miss 
wSmartie. 

Bertha. He's not such a bad dancer but he's so 
cross and grumpy all the time. 

Ella. Yes, he's a regular bear. 

Jessie. Hush. Minnie is coming. 

Enter Minnie. 

Minnie. I couldn't find Clyde any place and 
mamma told him to be sure to stay at home. 

Sadie. Oh, maybe he just went across the street 
to Dave's. Jim always does that when mamma tells 
him to stay at home. They don't call crossing the 
street going anywhere. 

Minnie. Yes, I guess that's where he is. But 
he'll get a good scolding from mamma. 

Ella. Say, talking about bears reminds me — 

Minnie. Why, what were you saying about bears? 

Ella {in confusion). Oh — er — why, we were say- 
ing — well, papa said that there was a bear escaped 
from the circus at Unionville and that they can't find 
it. That's not very far from here. What would you 
all do if you met it on the street? They say it is 
a bad one ; that it killed a man once. 

Bertlia. Oh, hush, or I'll be afraid to go home. 

Minnie. Mamma went out to Aunt Rose's today. 
I hope she doesn't meet it. And Uncle John is out 
in the woods. Maybe it will creep up on him and hug 
him to death. 



48 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Ella. Oh, I guess not. 

Minnie. But I wish they were home. (Rises and 
looks out of window.) I don't see them coming. 
(Resumes seat.) 

Sadie. Now, don't get frightened. 

Ella. No, don't. Papa said the bear must be 
hiding somewhere for they can't find it any place. 
It's a valuable one. They don't want to lose it. 

Minnie. I wonder if it would come into a house 
to hide. (Girls laugh.) It might think the house was 
a kind of cave. Bears don't know everything. 
(Clyde growls. Minnie springs up.) What was 
that? (Girls rush to opposite end of room.) 

Ella. It's the bear! He's under that table! (Girls 
huddle together.) 

Minnie. And we can't get out. He'll come out 
and hug us all to death and then eat us one by one. 
(More growls.) 

Jessie. Yes, I guess he ate Clyde already. That's 
where he's gone. (Minnie weeps and calls for 
Clyde. ) 

Sadie. Let's call for help. (Together.) Help! 
Help! (Commotion under table.) 

Bertha. Keep still. It's making him mad. Hush 
and maybe it won't come out. 

Enter Uncle John zvith an ax. 

Uncle John. Why, girls! Girls! What's the mat- 
ter? 

All. There's a bear under the table. 

Minnie. And it's eaten Clyde up. 

Uncle John. A bear! How do you know? Did 
you see it? 

Minnie. We heard it. Come over here, Uncle 
John, or it will get you. 

Uncle John (aside). Ah, I know. Clyde heard 
about the escaped bear and he is frightening these 
poor little girls. I'll turn the joke on him. (To girls.) 
How lucky that I came in time and that I brought my 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 49 

ax. {Approaches and looks binder table.) Yes, I see 
him. A great savage monster. Now ready. (Draws 
back ax.) One swing and all will be over. (Clyde 
overturns table and springs up.) 

Clyde. Don't, don't, Uncle John. It's me. I was 
only scaring them. 

Uncle John {severely). Well, young man, you 
succeeded almost too well. Your sister is about to 
faint. {Girls support Minnie.) Never mind, little 
girls. I'll take you all for a ride. Maybe we'll go 
over to Unionville to the circus. {To Clyde.) Come 
with me, sir, and I'll finish teaching you how pleasant 
it is to be frightened. {Marches Clyde from stage.) 

Curtain. 



FOUND OUT. 



characters. 

Anna. Emily. 

Kitty. Jennie. 

Blanche. Mrs. Smith. 

Scene: Living room. Girls are grouped around 
table. Mrs. Smith is standing, dressed in street 
costume. 

Mrs. Smith. Now, children, you must be very 
good while I am gone. Stay right here in this room, 
and amuse yourselves as best you can. I'm sorry I 
can't take you all with me but it looks too much like 
rain. 

Emily. Oh, we will get along all right, mamma. 
We will play with our dolls awhile and when we are 
tired of them I will read to the others from ''Moral 
Stories for Children," the book Aunt Kate sent me, 
you know. 

Anna {aside). Yes, she will. She burnt that book. 

Mrs. Smith. That's my good Emily. I knew you 
would be willing to stay at home and would try to 



50 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

make the others contented also. You are always my 
little helper. Now, good-bye. Be good children. I 
will be back just as soon as I can. {Moves toward 
door. Emily follows.) 

Emily. Good-bye, mamma dear. (Kisses her. Exit 
Mrs. Smith.) 

Kitty (to Emily). You make me tired. If you 
had talked right to mamma when she first spoke of 
going, she would have taken us along. 

Emily. Oh, I didn't want to go. We can have 
more fun at home. Mrs. Black doesn't do anything 
but talk about her rheumatism the whole time you're 
there, anyhow. 

Blanche. But she would have given us all the 
cake we wanted. She always has such good cake. 

Emily. Well, we don't have to go to the neigh- 
bors for cake, I hope. There's one out in the kitchen 
that mamma just finished icing a little while before 
she left. We can have some of that. 

Blanche. Don't talk silly, Emily. You know we 
can't cut that cake. Mamma made it for supper to- 
morrow evening when Mr. and Mrs. Morse are com- 
ing over. 

Emily. I guess I can have some if I want it. 

Kitty. Surely you won't dare to touch that cake. 

Emily. Did you ever know of anything that I 
wouldn't dare? (Exit.) 

Blanche. Oh, do you think she will cut it. 

Kitty. Of course she will. We oughtn't to have 
said anything about cake. 

Anna. Mamma will whip us sure. 

Blanche. We'll tell her we didn't do it. 

Kitty. What good will that do? Emily will just 
have to roll those big eyes of hers a few times and 
mamma will call her ''precious child" like she always 
does and send us ofif to bed — that is, if she doesn't 
give us a whipping. 

Enter Emily with cake and knife. Places cake on 
table and prepares to cut it. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 51 

Blanche {laying her hand on Emily's arm'). 
Please, please, Emily, don't cut that cake. What will 
mamma say? 

Emily. Oh, Tm not afraid. She won't say any- 
thing to me. 

Kitty. That's just the trouble. We'll get the 
blame. W^e always do. 

Emily {pushing Blanche away and cutting slice). 
Well, if you ahvays do, you ought to be getting used 
to it by this time. {Takes a bite.) My, this cake is 
fine. Better have some. {Girls shake their heads 
sadly.) You might as well. {Eats some more.) But 
if you don't want any, let's play something. I'll tell 
you. Let's play house. But I'll need a long skirt. 
Just wait a minute. {Exit.) 

Kitty. What will mamma say about that cake? 

Anna. When only one piece is gone, she'll know 
we didn't do it or we would have taken more. 

Blanche. Oh, she'll think we had just started 
to cut it and Emily made us stop. Wait and see if 
she doesn't. 

Kitty. I wish Aunt Mary would stay with us all 
the time. Emily doesn't fool her. 

Blanche. No. Aunt Mary says Emily's the great- 
est fraud on the face of the earth, but mamma thinks 
she's an angel. 

Enter Emily. 

Emily. This skirt will do, I guess, but it's a little 
too long. I'll cut some ofif. Where's the scissors? 
{Looks on table.) Oh, here they are. {Starts to cut.) 

Anna. Oh, Emily, don't. 

Blanche. You got that skirt out of the mission- 
ary box that mamma is going to send to the heathens. 

Emily. Well, I'm a heathen. That's what Mrs. 
Green said, anyhow — the day I painted her cat up a 
little bit — so I guess this skirt will suit me all right. 
{Finishes cutting and puts it on.) Don't I look fine 
now? {Dances around room, looks out of windoiv.) 



52 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

There comes Jennie Walters. She's t6o httle to suit 
me. Tm going to run her home. 

Anna. Oh, Emily, you won't do anything like 
that! She's my best friend. {Knock is heard. Anna 
opens door.) Come right in, Jennie. I'm so glad 
you've come. 

Jennie. My mamma says I can stay all the after- 
noon and can stay for supper, too, if you ask me. 
Are you going to ask me? 

Anna. Of course. I'm so glad you're going to 
stay. Let's go up stairs and I'll show you all my new 
paper dolls. (Takes Jennie's hand and starts to lead 
her across stage. Emily stands in the way.) 

Emily. Oh, no, Anna; don't go up stairs. We 
want to play house. And, Jennie, you're too little. 
You'll be sure to cry about something before we get 
through. You'd better run along home. 

Anna. Oh, no, Emily. Let her stay. She won't 
cry. 

Emily. Sure she will. She's starting already. Go 
along home, Jennie, and tell your mamma she wants 
you. 

Blanche. Emily, you ought to be ashamed of 
yourself. That's no way to treat company. 

Emily. We're playing house and I'm the lady, and 
I was up to a ball till three o'clock this morning; so 
I'm tired, and it's not my day to receive callers, any- 
how. Run along, Jennie. Shoo — shoo — shoo. (Shoos 
her out.) 

Jennie (at door). I'm going to tell my mamma. 

Emily. Tell your grandmother, if it will do you 
any good; also your grandfather. (Turns to others.) 
Now she's gone. That's good. (Takes another slice 
of cake.) This cake is kind of dry. Think I'll go out 
to the kitchen and makes some lemonade. 

Enter Mrs. Smith. 

Mrs. Smith. Not so fast, Emily; not so fast. 
You'll not treat yourself to cake and lemonade this 



COUXTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 53 

afternoon. You'll go upstairs to bed. I've been stand- 
ing just outside the door listening to your conversa- 
tion and seeing all your pranks. (To Anna.) x\nna, 
run across the street and bring Jennie back. I will 
let you have a little party to make up for Emily's un- 
kind treatment. {Exit Anna. To Emily.) Your 
Aunt ]^Iary partly opened my eyes to your little tricks, 
Emily, and I satisfied myself today. I don't know 
how I could have been so blind. {To Kitty and 
Blanche.) Come, girls, and bring the cake. I will 
fix a nice lunch out in the dining-room. {To Emily.) 
Emily, you may go up stairs to your room and think 
over your past conduct. {Exeunt Mrs. Smith, Kitty 
and Blanche.) 

Emily (to audience). Just look Avhat's happened 
to me! My good times are over. I've been found out. 

Curtain. 



AN INTERRUPTION. 

characters. 

Miss Carlin. Angela. 

Mr. Hilton. AIrs. Blake. 

Scene: Parlor. Discovered iliss Carlin and Mr. 
Hilton. Tliey are seated close together. He is hold- 
ing her Iiand and gazing at her eagerly. She has 
face averted. ^^^^^^, Angela. 

Angela. Oh, hello,- Aunt Edith. Hello, Mr. Hil- 
ton. I've found you at last. {They hastily move 
apart.) 

]\Ir. Hilton {aside). The little pest! She would 
have said "Yes" in another instant. 

Miss Carlin. Angela, why did you come in here? 
{Aside.) Oh, why didn't I say ''Yes" while I had the 
chance ? 

- Angela. Why, I came in to see 'Mr. Hilton. 
]\Iamma told me to stay away from the parlor, but then 



54 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

she didn't know you were in here. I guess she was 
afraid I'd knock sumpin' over. {Draws chair close to 
Mr. Hilton and seats herself.) I Hke you, Mr. 
Hilton. I'se your girl. Last time you were here you 
gave me a quarter. 

Mr. Hilton. This time FU have to do better. 
Here's fifty cents. {Hands her coin.) Don't you 
want to run over to the store and buy some candy? 

Angela. Oh, thank you. I can't go now but I'll 
go after awhile. My mamma told me not to go out- 
side till she waked up. She's lying down. She's got 
the headache. (Miss Carlin glances toward door 
and motions slightly for Angela to leave.) What's 
the matter. Aunt Edith? You look so funny in the 
face. You got the headache, too? 

Miss Carlin. No, of course not. You'd better 
go up stairs and see if mamma doesn't want a drink 
or something. 

Angela. Oh, no. Mamma told me not to come 
in her room any more. I only went in and waked 
her up free times, but she said she'd spank me if I 
comed in any more. 

Mr. Hilton {aside). Only ten minutes more and 
I have to leave for the station. What shall I do? 

Miss Carlin. What did mamma tell you to do till 
she woke up, Angela? 

Angela. She told me to stay out on the porch 
and play with my dolls. {Earnestly.) But she won't 
care if I stay in here with you. 

Miss Carlin. But, Angela, you must always do 
exactly what mamma says. Come, let us go out on 
the porch. {Takes her by the arm.) 

Angela. You and Mr. Hilton come along? 

Miss Carlin. Oh, no. You can amuse yourself 
with your dolls. 

Angela. Oh, no. I don't want to stay out there 
by myself. 

Miss Carlin {still urging her). But mamma won't 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 55 

like it if you don't do what she says. Go on, now. 
There's a good girl. 

Angela {tearfully). Oh, Aunt Edith, it's getting 
dark out there and I'm all by myself, and — and — let 
me stay in here. I'll be good. I won't ask any ques- 
tions. (Seats herself.) 

Mr. Hilton (aside). I must have my answer De- 
fore I leave for California. (To Miss Carlin.) Miss 
Carlin, will you walk down to the gate with me? It 
is time for me to leave if I wish to catch the five 
o'clock train. 

Angela (jumping down from chair). Oh, let's. 
I want to show you my little calf. It's so pretty. It's 
red with white spots. Come on. (Takes Mr. Hilton's 
hand.) 

Mr. Hilton. Well, you run on ahead, Angela, and 
see where the calf is, and then we'll come. 

Angela (shaking her head). Oh, no, no; I'm 
afraid; The big cow — the little calf's mamma — the old 
woman cow — you know, she's mean. She just looked 
at me so sassy this morning when I was out there 
with my papa. You come along and then I'll show 
you. 

Mr. Hilton (aside). It's not customary, but if 
there's no other way I'll finish my proposal in the 
presence of a third party. (To Miss Carlin.) Miss 
Carlin, I must leave immediately for the station or I 
shall miss my train. But before I go may I have an 
answer to the question I asked you before this — this 
interruption ? 

Angela. You ask questions, too, Mr. Hilton? My 
mamma ahvays scolds me for asking questions. 

Mrs. Blake (off stage). Angela, Angela, come 
here this minute. 

Angela. There's my mamma now and that's the 
way she talks when she's going to spank me. But I 
didn't do nothin', did I? 

Curtain, 



56 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 



THE LOST KEY. 



CHARACTERS. 




Mr. Starkly. 


Grandpa. 


Mrs. Starkly. 


Allie. 



Scene : To resemble porch of residence. Stage 
should be slightly darkened. Grandpa is seated in arm 
chair. 

Enter Mrs. Starkly and Allie. Their arms are 
filled zvith packages. 

Mrs. Starkly. Oh, Grandpa, I feel so bad! I 
thought rd faint on the train. Why didn't John meet 
us at the station? 

Grandpa. Why, Charlie Brown's horse got sick 
and he had to go over there. What's the matter, 
Mamie? You were feeling fine when you left for the 
city this morning. 

Mrs. Starkly. Yes, I know, but I had so much 
shopping to do. I had so many different articles to 
buy for the neighbors out here, and it was so hot 
coming home on the train, and Allie has been so cross 
that I am just about ready to drop. 

Allie. Open the door. Grandpa. Let's get to bed. 
I'm sleepy. 

Mrs. Starkly. Yes, poor child, I guess you are. 
It must be ten o'clock — long past your bedtime — and 
you're so tired, I know. Open the door, Grandpa. 
I must put some of these bundles down. My arms 
are about to break. 

Grandpa. Why, I'm sorry, Mamie, but I guess 
you can't get in the house. I lost the key. 

Mrs. Starkly. What! Grandpa, don't say that! 
You lost the key? How? Oh, I'm ready to faint. My 
one thought all the way out was to get to bed. (Drops 
into chair.) How did you lose it. Grandpa? Allie, you 
poor child, sit down. Grandpa, are you sure it's lost? 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 57 

What were you doing with it? Weren't you around 
the house all day ? 

Grandpa. Why, you know, I went over to Smith's 
for some strawberry plants, and as John was gone and 
nobody around the place, I locked the door, and on 
my way back I felt for the key and it wasn't in my 
pocket. I must have lost it somewheres. I've been 
sitting on the porch ever since it started to get dark 
and I guess we'll have to- sleep here. It's lucky it isn't 
cold weather. 

Mrs. Starkly. Sleep on the porch! Why, I tell 
you I'm about to die now and it would finish me to 
spend the night in the open. We must get in through 
a window. 

Grandpa. But I fastened all the windows on the 
inside. You know John sold that team of horses this 
morning after you left and there's five hundred dol- 
lars in the house, and I didn't want to take any 
chances. 

Allie. Mamma, I'm sleepy. I wanna go to bed. 
{Begins to cry.) 

Mrs. Starkly. Yes, yes, dear; I know, but hush 
now and let mamma think. Grandpa, you'll have to 
go to the shop and get a chisel or a screw-driver or 
something and take the door off the hinges, or get 
a window out. We can never spend the night out 
here. You with your rheumatism and I with a bad 
cold, and Allie just getting over the measles. We'd 
all be laid up with, a spell of sickness for a month, per- 
haps. Don't you think you can get us in some way? 

Grandpa. Well, mebbe. I'll go out to the shop 
and get some tools. 

Mrs. Starkly. But don't strike a match out there. 
Just feel 'round. Be sure not to strike a match. 

Grandpa. All right; I won't. {Importantly.) 
Don't worry about me. I never set a house afire yet. 
{Exit.) 

Allie {crying). I wanna go to bed. 

Mrs. Starkly. But don't you know the door is 



58 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

locked? Here, perhaps you can lie down on this rug 
a little while. (Allie lies down.) 

Allie. I want a pillow for my head. The boards 
are too hard. 

Mrs. Starkly. Well, you're mighty particular. 
Put one of those bundles under your head. 

Grandpa {off stage). Fire! Fire! Come quick, 
Mamie. Fve set the shop on fire! (Mrs. Starkly 
and Allie 7'nsh from stage. All return soon.) 

Mrs. Starkly {dropping in chair). Grandpa, 
you've given me such a fright I believe Fm going 
to have a spell. How could you have struck a match 
out there with all those shavings around? If it hadn't 
been for that tub of water, the shop and the house 
and ever3^thing would have gone. C5h, my. I think 
Fm going to faint. 

Grandpa. Well, I wouldn't now, Mamie, when 
everything is all over. Just wait a minute and Fll go 
back and get a screw-driver and have the door off 
in a jiffy. 

Mrs. Starkly {starting np). Grandpa, don't think 
of going back to the shop. I won't let you. Sit down 
in that chair. We'll spend the night here. It may 
give us all our deaths, but anyhow we won't be burned 
alive. {Resumes seat. Grandpa sits dozrni.) Try to 
go to sleep. We have to make the best of it. (Allie 
lies dozvn.) 

Allie. Mamma, my pillow is a sinkin' down. It's 
all goin' away. 

Mrs. Starkly {springing up). What did you take, 
child? {Examines.) Oh, the butter — the six pounds 
of butter I bought for the picnic dinner to morrow. 
Oh, dear; it's ruined! 

Allie. It's all over my head, mamma. My ears are 
full of grease. 

Mrs. Starkly. Well, here's my handkerchief. 
Get what you can off and then go to sleep. {Resumes 
seat.) 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 59 

Grandpa. The mosquitoes are going to run me 
crazy. (Slaps about vigorously.) 

Mrs. Starkly. Grandpa, do please be quiet. It 
must be near midnight. Let's get to sleep if we can. 
We have to be up early tomorrow on account of the 
festival. (A short pause.) 

Allie. Mamma, I want a drink. (No answer.) 
Mamma, I want a drink. (No answer.) Mamma, I 
want a drink. 

Mrs. Starkly. Hush, Allie, and go to sleep and 
ril give you a quarter to spend at the festival tomor- 
row. 

Allie. But, mamma, I want it more than that. .1 
want it fifty cents' worth. Will you give me two 
quarters ? 

Mrs. Starkly. Yes. Now go to sleep. (Pause.) 

Allie. Mamma, I want that drink about three 
quarters' worth. Mamie Jones and I are running a 
race to see who has the most money to spend. 

Mrs. Starkly. All right. But stop there ; not a 
cent more. Now, go to sleep or I'll get up and whip 
you. (Pause.) Grandpa, Grandpa, wake up. (Goes 
over and shakes him.) Wake up, Grandpa, quick. 
There's some one coming up the walk. 

Grandpa. Eh? What's that? What's the matter? 

Mrs. Starkly. There's some one creepin' up the 
walk. It's a thief after that five hundred dollars. 
He'll kill us all and break into the house and steal 
everything we've got. Oh, what will we do? He's 
almost here now. 

Grandpa. A thief ! We must not let him get that 
money. If I had a gun now or even a poker. Mebbe 
I could stun him with this chair. 

Mrs. Starkly. Oh, don't use a chair. You'll have 
to get too close to him and he'll grab it away and kill 
you. Isn't there something you could throw? He's 
right here now. 

Grandpa. Hush, hush. Get behind that chair and 



60 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

ril crouch down, and when he steps on the porch Til 
knock him senseless with this boot. Don't be^ afraid. 

Mrs. Starkly gets behind chair. Grandpa crouches 
down. Enter Mr. Starkly. Grandpa swings boot. 
It slip^ from hand and strikes Allie zuith {apparent) 
force. She screams lustily. 

Mr. Starkly. What in the world is the matter? 
Who's here, anyhow? Who threw something at me? 
Is that you crying, Allie? 

Allie. Why, it's papa! 

Mrs. Starkly. It's John! 

Grandpa. I lost the key and we were trying to 
sleep on the porch. 

Mrs. Starkly. And we thought you were a thief. 

Mr. Starkly. Too bad! Too bad! Come in now, 
all of you, quick. You'll catch cold out here. The 
lock is nearly ofif. I'll force the door in. Why, what's 
this? The key's in the door. 

Grandpa. Oh, I remember now. I forgot to take 
it out. 

Mrs. Starkly. It was there all the time, then? 
We could have gone to bed at once instead of trying 
to sleep out here. Oh, dear ! dear ! 

Allie. Mamma, there's a big bump on my head. 
I want four quarters to spend at the festival tomor- 
row. 

Curtain. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 61 



THE LOST PRIZE. 

characters. 

Lizzie. . Bob. 

Lily. " John. 

Jennie. Mae. 

Scene: Living room. 

Mae. Oh, such a dreary afternoon as this has 
been. Til be glad when bedtime comes. 

Jennie. That's a nice way to talk when youVe 
got company. Let's go home, Bob. 

Mae. Oh, I beg your pardon, Jennie. You know 
I didn't mean to offend you, and you and Bob thought 
up the only good games we did play. 

Lily. I was just thinking up something nice to 
play, but I won't tell it now if you think Jennie and 
Bob know better games than J do. I'm going home. 

Mae. Now, Lily, you know I meant you, too. 
You and Mae and Bob all helped us to have a pleas- 
ant time since dinner. 

Lizzie. That leaves me out. I'm going home. 

Mae {aside). Oh, dear, it's hard to entertain com- 
pany. {To Lizzie.) Lizzie, you and May and Bob 
and Jennie all have been very entertaining since you 
came over. That takes in everybody but John now 
and {to John) John, if you say a word I'll tell 
mamma when she comes home. {To Lily.) Lily, 
what was the something nice you were thinking of? 

Lily. Well, when I was over at Collinsville we 
went to an elocution contest at the school — where 
some boys and girls say pieces for a prize, you know, 
and then when Cousin Clara and I would go around 
to see her friends, we would have contests among 
ourselves just for fun. We might try a contest as 
we are tired of all our other games. 

Lizzie. But we don't know any nice pieces. 

Lily. Oh, any kind will do, just for a play con- 



62 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

test — some of those we had on Friday afternoons at 
school will do. 

Bob. What will we have for a prize? 

Mae. Will this orange do? (Points to orange on 
table.) It's the last one in the house so it's worth 
working for. 

Bob. That will be all right for a prize, but we'll 
need a judge to see who's the best speaker. 

Mae. That's so. If mamma were only here, but 
she said she wouldn't be back till dark, and Aunt 
Mary has such a bad toothache, mamma said not to 
bother her for anything. 

Lizzie. Maybe Miss Brown would come over if 
I would run across the street and ask her. She al- 
ways says Saturdays seem so long to her. 

Mae. No, she told mamma she was going to sham.- 
poo her hair this afternoon. 

John. It's not much trouble for her to wash her 
hair. She takes it all off her head first. 

Mae. Hush, John. Never criticize a lady. That's 
the first rule for a gentleman, you know. Maybe Mr. 
Meyer would come over. He's always making 
speeches. He ought to be a good judge. 

Bob. He can't come, either. He was over at our 
house this morning and told papa he had been having 
a run of luck and was going down town this after- 
noon to get his watch and overcoat from his uncle. 
I wonder what his uncle was doing with them. 

John. Then I can't think of anyone else to be 
judge. I tell you what. Let Bob and me act as judges 
and you girls speak. (Winks at Bob.) 

Lily. But there ought to be three judges or only 
one. What if you and Bob decide on different ones? 

John. Oh, no, we won't. We always think alike. 
Now, you girls all sit down in a row and Bob and I 
will sit in the back so we won't embarrass you, and 
we promise to judge fair. Hurry up and start. 

Mae. But you ought to sit in front so you can see 
our g-estures. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 63 

John. No, we can see all right from here. {Girls 
take places and each recites, being liberally applauded 
by others at close of recitation. Boys, nnobserved^ 
by girls, eat orange.) 

Mae {who recites last). Now, boys, who wins the 
prize? 

John {rising and coming to front). Young ladies 
— ahem — allow me to congratulate you. {Bows.) 
Your elocutionary efforts have indeed been surprising 
and pleasing — 

Mae. Oh, don't try to talk Hke Professor Mur- 
dock. Who gets the prize? 

John. I would that there were a prize for each 
one, but since such is impossible, we have decided that 
the token of victory goes to Miss Lily Oakam. 
{Hands her orange peels. Runs from room, follozi'ed 
by Bob.) 

Lily. They ate the orange themselves ! 

Lizzie. Oh, what a shame ! 

Jennie. That's why they wanted to sit in the back. 

Mae. They think they are smart. Let's go and 
find them and make them buy us some candy. 

Curtain. 



64 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 



MOTHER'S BLUNDER. 

characters. 

Mrs. Horton. "^ Gladys. Charlie. 

Scene Living room. 

Enter Gladys. 

Gladys {throwing hooks on table). If I'm not 
tired of going to school! Our teacher is just too mean 
for anything — always preaching about me being crazy 
after the boys — as if it were any of her business. 
Mamma doesn't care — and I'm going tO' tell her so the 
very next time she says anything. We'll show her 
this evening, too. Charlie is going to call for me and 
v/e'll go walking right past her house, and if she 
says anything about it tomorrow, I'll say {speaks with 
dignity) ''Miss Smith, Charlie Mason called at our 
house for me and my mother was aware of the fact 
that we went walking together." Then won't she wilt ! 
I must hurry, though, and put on my pink dress. Char- 
lie says I look just like a picture in pink. {Exit.) 
Enter Mrs. Horton with hook in hand. 

Mrs. Horton {taking a seat). I wonder if I will 
be left alone a few minutes in peace with this book. 
There is only one more chapter and perhaps I can 
finish it before it's time to start supper. I wonder 
if Gladys is home from school. {Glances at tahle.) 
Oh, yes, there are her books. She usually stands on 
the corner a while talking to Charlie Mason or some 
of the other boys — doesn't make much difference to 
her, I suppose, just so it's a boy. I must put a stop 
to her foolishness. {Looks out of window.) Why, 
there is Charlie Mason coming up the walk now. I 
wonder why he didn't stop to play with the boys. 
He surely saw them in the lot as he passed. Perhaps, 
though, his mother sent him over after something. 
{Knock is heard. Mrs, Horton opens door.) Come 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 65 

in, Charlie. Let me have your hat. {Places it on ta- 
ble.) Take a chair. {He does so.) How is your 
mother? Is she standing this warm weather all right? 

Charlie {z^^ho is fashionably dressed and zvears a 
very high collar). Yes, ma'am, she is standing all 
right — oh, I mean she is warm all right — no, I mean 
■ — I mean {wipes his face zi'ith handkerchief). 

]\Irs. Hortox. I'm glad to hear she is well. When 
is your father coming home from Chicago ? 

Charlie. He is coming yesterday — I mean he 
came yesterday. 

Mrs. Hortox. Oh, did he? He came back sooner 
than he expected, then. Did he find his uncle im- 
proved ? 

Charlie. Yes, ma'am, he was improved. {Pause.) 
He was dead. (Mrs. Horton looks azvay and laughs.) 

Mrs. Hortox^ {aside). Oh, I ought to be ashamed 
for laughing, but no doubt death was an improvement 
for the poor man. I wonder w^hat Charlie wants. 
Pretty soon it will be too late to finish my story. {To 
Charlie.) Your mother sent you over for her cook 
book, I suppose, didn't she? 

Charlie. No, ma'am. I came — I came — 

Mrs. Hortoxt {aside). The poor boy has forgot- 
ten what his mother told him to get. {To Charlie.) 
Oh, I suppose she wants her Ladies' Home Journal. 
I'm sorry to have kept it so long. That's w^hat you 
came for,- isn't it? (Charlie squirms on chair and 
looks miserable.) 

Charlie. No, I came — I came — 

Mrs. Hortox {aside). He's stuck in the same place 
he was before and the time is passing and I won't 
get to see how this story ends. He's certainly not 
enjoying himself here with me. I'll send him out to 
play with the boys. {To Charlie.) Oh, Charlie, 
have you seen the new ball and bat Robert has? His 
L^ncle John gave them to him. The boys are out play- 
ing on the lot. They will be very glad you came over, 
I'm sure. They say you used to be such a good 



66 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

player. (Charlie does not move. Mrs. Horton con- 
tinues , aside.) Well, isn't he going? What can the 
boy want? {To Charlie.) I know you will have a 
pleasant time with the boys. You must come over 
often and play with them. {Hands Charlie his hat. 
He rises, takes it, hangs his head, shifts from one foot 
to the other. Mrs. Horton continues, aside.) What 
does make the boy look so miserable? I wonder if 
he's hungry. Maybe he expected some little treat. 
I'm so sorry I've nothing in the house. {To Charlie.) 
Oh, Charlie, wait a minute. {Exit.) 

Charlie. Why doesn't Gladys come? Does her 
mother think I came over to play ball with Rob and 
Frank? Fm afraid to tell Mrs. Horton I've come to 
take Gladys walking. I've heard she doesn't want 
her to have a fellow. Oh, there she is coming back! 
Won't Gladys ever come? 

Enter Mrs. Horton with large slice of bread and 
butter in hand. 

Mrs. Horton. I know, Charlie, that boys always 
have their appetites with them. Fm sorry I haven't 
any cake or candy, but maybe this will do. {Hands 
him bread which he takes reluctantly.) The boys are 
having a fine game out there. I am sure you will en- 
joy it. Good-bye. Tell your mother to come over 
soon. {Exit Charlie.) Well, I nearly had to put 
him out. What coidd the boy have wanted? I sup- 
pose, though, he will tell Rob and Frank. Now I 
have a few minutes to read. {Takes chair and opens 

^^^^•) Enter Gladys. 

Gladys. Mamma, there is a torn place in my pink 
dress. 

Mrs. Horton {without looking up). I know. Sup- 
pose you mend it. 

Gladys. Mend it, mamma! You know I can't 
mend. 

Mrs. FIorton. I know it is time you were beginning 
to learn. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 67 

Gladys. But I haven't time to mend it. I want to 
wear it right away? 

Mrs. Horton. Why? You're not going- any place. 

Gladys. Yes, I am. CharHe Mason is going to 
call for me and we are going out for a walk together. 
(Mrs. Horton looks at her in amazement, which gives 
place to amusement. She laughs heartily.) Why, what 
is the matter? I don't see anything funny in that. He'll 
be here soon and he told me to wear my pink dress, 
and now I can't. 

Mrs. Horton {still laughing). So that's what he 
wanted? Oh, dear! Oh, dear! {Buries face in hands 
and laughs.) 

Gladys {quickly). Has he been here already, 
mamma? Didn't he wait? He hasn't gone home, has 
he? What did he say? 

Mrs. Horton. He didn't say much of anything. 
You appear to have selected rather a silent companion 
for your walk, Gladys. 

Gladys. But where is he? He hasn't left, has he? 

Mrs. Horton. Not being able to find out what he 
wanted, I naturally supposed he would find it more 
enjoyable out playing with the boys than sitting in 
here with me, so I gave him a piece of bread and but- 
ter and sent him out to play with Rob and Frank, 

Gladys. You gave him a piece of bread and butter 
and told him to go out and play with the boys? Oh, 
what will he think? What will he think? He'll 
never come near me again. Why didn't you call me, 
mamma? You might have known he came to see me. 

Mrs. Horton. It's well for him I didn't or I 
would have given him a piece of my mind instead of 
a piece of bread. Gladys, you're a little goose. Did 
you imagine for one moment that I would allow my 
little thirteen-year-old daughter to go out walking with 
one of the boys after the fashion of grown people? 

Gladys {burying face in handkerchief). Oh, what 
does he think? He will be mad at me! What does 
he think? 



68 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Mrs. Horton. If he has any sense at all, he very 
likely thinks that playing ball with boys like your 
brothers and their friends is better than parading 
'round the town with a silly little school girl. Go get 
your pink dress and make an attempt at mending it 
and get all that nonsense about boys out of your 
head or you won't get a watch for your birthday, I 
can promise you that. (Exit Gladys. Mrs. Horton 
looks out of window.) Good! Charlie has taken off 
that collar — 1 was really afraid it would cut his throat 
— and is playing ball. I have hopes for him yet. 
Gladys is going to get some sense put into her head 
also. My daughter is not going to be a love-sick sim- 
pleton — not while Tm around. (Laughs.) To think 
I gave her little beau a piece of bread and butter and 
sent him out to play with the boys. (Glances at clock.) 
But I won't get a chance to finish my book. I must go 
and start supper. 

Curtain. 



MR. JONES CHANGES HIS MIND. 

characters. 
Mr. Jones. George. 

Mrs. Jones. Tom. 

Lonnie. Bill. 

Policeman. 
Lonnie is a boy of seven or eight. George, Tom 
and Bill represent him at later ages. 

Scene: Living room. Discovered Mr. and Mrs. 
Jones, seated. 

Mr. Jones. Well, Sarah, IVe got the matter set- 
tled at last. Pete Johnson signed up today and now 
I have enough names. Til start in business soon and 
it won't be long till we can ride around in an auto- 
mobile as well as other people. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. , 69 

Mrs. Jones. But, John, you know I'd rather go 
on foot to the end of my days than ride in the finest 
automobile ever made if it has to be bought with 
such money. Be careful, John. Take my advice. 
You've had good luck all your life, but it may change. 
Don't put up a saloon in this town that never has had 
one for over fifty years. Don't be the one to start it. 

Mr. Jones. Now, Sarah, don't begin your usual 
sermon. You say I've had good luck, but what have 
I to show for it? Not much of a bank account. And 
I want to give Lonnie a college education — Harvard 
or Yale is not too good for my boy, and I want to 
leave him plenty so he won't have to work day and 
night as I have had to do. And a saloon is where 
one can make money ; no doubt about that. ( Glances 
toivard door.) Here comes Lonnie now. 

Enter Lonnie. 

Mr. Jones. Say, son, what will you think when 
you get that pony you've been begging for so long? 

Lonnie. Get a pony? Oh, papa, are you really 
going to get one for me? 

Mr. Jones. Sure. You'll get lot's of nice things 
now. {Turns to zvife.) You see, Sarah, he doesn't 
care where the money comes from. 

Mrs. Jones. I know if you have made up your 
mind on any question, it is no use to talk ; so I'll say 
no more. (Rises.) Come, Lonnie, let's get your face 
and hands washed. It's most time for supper. 
{Exennt.) 

Mr. Jones. I'm sorry Sarah doesn't like my new 
plan, but she'll change her way of talking when the 
money starts to roll in. My, how tired I am. I've 
had a week of the hardest kind of work — riding all 
over the country. (Opens paper.) I wonder what the 
world has been doing lately. (Reads.) ''Three Killed 
in a Saloon Brawl." (Looks up.) They oughtn't to 
publish such news. (Reads.) "Drunken Husband 
Forces Wife and Children to Flee." (Looks up.) 



70 COUNTRY SCHOOL ' DIALOGUES. 

Well, can't they find anything better than that to put 
in a paper. {Reads.) ''Col. J. B. Greene kills himself 
during a fit of temporary insanity brought on by in- 
toxication." {Throws paper down.) Such trash! 
Think I'll try to catch a few winks of sleep before sup- 
per time. {Rests head on hand. Closes eyes. A short 
pause.) ^^^^^ LoNNiE. 

LoNNiE {zvalking across stage). Oh, Tm going to 
get a pony. Papa's going to keep a saloon. That's 
where the money will come from. I don't see why 
mamma cares. I'll go down and get pretzels like 
Jim Thomson does at his papa's saloon over in Jack- 
son, and I'll learn to cuss, too. Jim learned at his 
papa's saloon. And then the other boys will think 
I'm big. {Exit.) 

Mr. Jones {speaking as if in sleep). I must take 
care that Lonnie does not stay around the saloon. 
My boy must always be kept good and innocent as 
he is now. 

Enter George, a flashily dressed youth of about 
seventeen. He carries a bottle of whisky. 

George {looking around). Now, where can I hide 
this? The old man is getting mighty particular here 
lately — must be getting wise to my taking a little 
whisky now and then. Hope he doesn't catch me, but I 
can't help it if he does. The gang said to have a bottle 
tonight when we meet over the livery stable, and I 
can't go back on them. {Exit.) 

Mr. Jones. So Lonnie does take whisky from the 
saloon and he does belong to that tough gang which 
is going to come to grief soon or I miss my guess. 
He calls me ''the old man" — me, his father — whose 
only thought day and night is for his good. 

Enter Tom. 

Tom. Well, I got off, but it was a close shave. 
Just think. Six of the boys sent to Reform School. 
My, there's hardly any oi the gang left. That old 



COUXTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 71 

judge certainly gave us a sermon — made me sick talk- 
ing about turning over a new leaf and all that Sunday 
School mush. \\^ell, we'll have to see what we can 
do with the few that are left. One good thing about 
it, they'll be sure to elect me captain. If they don't, 
ril tell them no more free whisky from our saloon. 
{Exit.) 

Mr. Jones. Oh, my boy! My boy! A hypocrite 
as well as a thief. He pretended to cry in the court 
room this afternoon, but it was only a pretense. He'll 
be captain of the gang now and no telling what new 
mischief they'll be up to. Oh, it was an unfortunate 
day for me when I started to keep a saloon. If I had 
only listened to Sarah's advice. 

Enter Mrs. Jones. 

Mrs. Jones. If I could but hear one word from 
my boy ! If he would only send one line to his mother. 
He's in New York now and who knows with what 
companions? What does a fine house, an automobile 
and six servants amount to when my heart is aching 
for news of my boy. {Exit.) 

Mr. Jones. I brought all this on you, too, Sarah. 
Oh, why was I so bent on having my own way ! 

Enter Bill and Policeman. 

Policeman {holding Bill by arm). We've been 
looking for you for a long time, my fine fellow. You'll 
go up for twenty years. No fooling with the United 
States government, you'll find. 

Bill. You'd better keep still or maybe I'll go up 
for life for putting a knife in you. 

Policeman. Talk big, will you? I'm not afraid. 
{Exeunt, Struggle off stage.) 

Re-enter Bill. He hurries across stage, looking 
backward over shoulder. 

Bill. I said I'd knife him, and I did it. There's 
another cop after me, but maybe I can get across the 
river. {Exit,) 



72 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

Mr. Jones (m anguish). My son a murderer! It's 
my fault! Oh, unhappy man that I am! It's all my 
fault! 

Enter Lonnie. 

LoNNiE. Why, papa, you're talking to yourself. 
Are you asleep? Mamma says to come to supper. 
(Mr. Jones rises and stares at him in amazement.) 
What's the matter, papa? You look so funny, you 
scare me. 

Mr. Jones {joyfully). It was all a dream! It was 
all a dream! {Calls to Mrs. Jones.) Oh, Sarah, 
Sarah, it was all a dream! 

Enter Mrs. Jones hurriedly. 

Mrs. Jones. Whatever is the matter, John? What 
are you shouting about? 

Mr. Jones. Sarah, it was all a dream, nothing 
but a dream. 

Mrs. Jones. What was ? Have you taken leave of 
your senses? 

Mr. Jones. No, Sarah, but I'm so happy I'm 
hardly responsible. I saw Lonnie, here, in a dream, 
just as plain as could be — going from bad to worse, 
and finally ending as a murderer, and whisky the 
cause of it all. Where's that petition? Let me tear 
it into a thousand pieces. {Takes paper from pocket 
and tears it.) 

Mrs. Jones {happily). So you're not going to keep 
a saloon after all — 

Mr. Jones. Don't ever say "saloon" to me again. 
First I saw Lonnie just as he is now and heard him 
saying he was going to his papa's saloon to get pret- 
zels and learn to cuss — 

Mrs. Jones {drazving Lonnie to her side). How 
dreadful ! 

Mr. Jones. Then as a bigger boy, stealing whisky 
to give to his gang; just escaping the reform school 
and finally a murderer, and I saw you, too, Sarah, all 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 73 

aged and broken with grief. Oh, it was terrible, but 
only a dream — only a dream. Oh, how happy 1 am ! 

Mrs. Jones. And I, too. What a terrible weight 
is lifted from my heart. 

Mr. Jones. My only fear is that some one else 
may follow my bad example and try to start a saloon 
here and ruin other boys ; but I'll fight that day and 
night and I think I have influence to keep a saloon 
out of this town as long as I live. 

Curtain. 



THE NEW TEACHER. 

CHARACTERS. 

Miss Brown. Roy. 

Mr. Miller. Ida. 

Jim. May. 

George. Julia. 
Will. 

Others to form class. 
Scene: School room, 

George. My, I wish she'd hurry up and come. 
I'm anxious to have some fun. 

Jim. So'm I. We'll liave a great time. Just imag- 
ine — a lady teacher, and her first term, too. And this 
school has gotten the best of men teachers for the past 
three years. 

Ida. Yes, thanks to you boys. It will be so pretty 
soon that we can't get a teacher here at all. I don't 
see why you can't behave. 

Will. I wonder who'd care if we didn't get a 
teacher. I'm sure I. wouldn't. 

May. Well, I would. I don't want to grow up as 
green as some people I know. 

Will. That's hitting me, is it ? Well, I don't care. 
But, say, who knows the teacher's name? Ida, I 



74 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

thought she was to be at your house last night. Didn't 
she come? 

Ida. No ; she sent word that she would come on 
this morning's train. Papa has gone to the station 
to meet her. He is to bring her over here. It is 
almost nine o'clock. They will be here soon. Her 
name is Miss Kitty Brown, and papa said if we didn't 
treat her right, she's the last teacher he'll ever get for 
this school. 

Roy. Then he'd better resign as a member of the 
school board right away, for I'm afraid Kitty is going 
to think we aren't a bit nice to her. 

Julia. You hateful boy! You aren't a bit funny 
- — you only think you are. I hope the teacher gives 
you a whipping the very first one. 

Roy. Ha, ha ! That's a good one. You remember 
the lickin' Mr. Smith tried to give me last year? 
Who came out ahead? 

Ida. Mr. Smith did. You're nothing but a bragger. 

George. Oh, he didn't. 

Roy. I should say he didn't. {Goes to front of 
room.) It was like this: Smith called me up and 
told me to hold out my hand and I did, but after the 
first lick I bet he thought a cyclone had broken loose. 

Enter Mr. Miller and Miss Brown, unobserved 
by Roy. Miss Brown should be tall and vigorous 
and dressed somezvhat after the fashion of a typical 
old maid. 

Roy. And if Kitty tries a ruler with me she'll find 
out — 

Miss Brown (stepping forzvard). She doesn't use 
a ruler. She prefers her hand. (Boxes Roy's ears, 
shakes him and seats him at front desk.) 

George (surprised, to Will). Why, she isn't a 
kitten; she's a cat. (Miss Brown zvalks down to 
George, marches him to front of room and adminis- 
ters same punishment as to Roy, then removes hat and 
seats herself at desk.) 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 75 

Miss Brown. Good morning, children. (Class re- 
sponds.) 

Jim. Good morning, Kitty. (Miss Brown starts 
in his direction.) Oh, I take it back. 

Will. You piker! (Miss Brown turns to him.) 
Oh — er — I take it back, too. (Mr. Miller and class 
laugh. Miss Brown res^tmes seat.) 

Mr. Miller. Well, boys, and you four ring lead- 
ers in particular, I think the school board has ''put one 
over on you,'' if Miss Brown will excuse my using a 
little slang. I did spread it around that this was the 
first school Miss Brown had ever taught, but I added to 
myself '' in this county." And I also let it be known 
that her first name is Kitty. I hardly think any of 
you will use it, though. You pupils have had things 
so much your own way lately that we can't be blamed 
for having our little joke. (Roy starts toward door.) 

Miss Brown. Where are you going? 

Roy. I'm going home. Think I'm going to stay 
here and get knocked around by you ? 

Mr. Miller. If you're wise you'll stay here, Roy. 
When I passed your house your father had three 
switches and was cutting another. He knows you 
pretty well, you see. He thought you'd have trouble 
with Miss Brown and then run home like you've al- 
ways done; but he now sees where he's been making 
a mistake — always supporting his children against 
the teacher. If you go home, you'll come back faster 
than you went. (Roy resumes seat.) And I think 
that holds good for all you children. {Turns to Miss 
Brown.) Miss Brown, the district is going to be for 
you. We've got a good teacher and we'll do our part. 

Miss Brown. Thank you, Mr. Miller. 

May {rising and speaking earnestly). And, oh, 
Miss Brown, we are going to do our part, too. 

Miss Brown. Why, thank you, also. That's a 
very nice promise. 

Mr. Miller. May will be one of your star pupils, 



16 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Miss Brown. She always does her best. But how 
many of the others are gomg to do hkewise? 

George {rising). We all are. (Class rises and says 
in unison, ''We all are.'') 

Mr. Miller. Then with teacher, patrons and pu- 
pils working together, I predict for this school the 
most successful term of its existence. 

Curtain. 



THE READING CIRCLE. 
characters. 

Viola. Frances. 

Harriet. Clare. 

Ella. Mr. Zellers. 

Scene: Living room. Girls discovered seated, 

Frances. But, girls, I don't think it's a bit nice 
the way you are acting. Miss Harris took so much 
pains helping us to organize our reading circle and 
gave us the pins and all that, and now, just because 
you didn't get as high marks on your report card as 
some of the others, you want to give it all up. It's not 
right. We all got the marks we deserved. 

Viola. Oh, listen to the pet talk. You make me 
tired, Frances. Of course it's easy enough for you to 
talk. You got over ninety in all your studies, but Miss 
Harris has a pick on me and I'm not going to belong 
to anything she gets up. 

Harriet. Neither am I. I put my pin back on 
her desk this afternoon after school and I'm going 
to tell her tomorrow morning that she can have her 
pets in her reading circle if she wants one. 

Ella. Yes, I imagine I hear you saying that. 
But I'm going to draw out, too. Mamma said if I 
couldn't get any more than seventy per cent in arith- 
metic, I'd better put more time on it and less on 
readinof. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 77 

Clare. That's what papa says. He says that arith- 
metic is of more use than any other study, and this 
learning about writers and poems is aU nonsense. So 
here's my pin, Frances. (Holds it out.) You can give 
it to Miss Harris when you and the rest of her 
friends go to the library tomorrow. 

Frances. I won't take it. Miss Harris gaA^e it to 
you and if you don't want it, you will have to give 
it back to her yourself. 

Clare. Oh, I'm not going to take the trouble. 
You are the treasurer, so you ought to look after these 
valuable pins. They cost fifteen cents apiece, I be- 
lieve. (Tosses pin on table.) I'll leave it here if you 
don't give it back to her. 

Ella (placing pin on table). Here's mine, too. I 
deserved as high on my report card as any of the other 
girls, and I'm not going to belong to the reading circle 
any more. 

Frances. Well, I am. I wouldn't drop out for 
anything. I am going to do a lot of reading this 
winter and it will be a help to us, too. 

Viola. I don't see how. What good does it do 
me to know that Whittier wrote ^'Evangeline" and Rip 
Van Winkle wrote ''Snow Bound," and that Shake- 
speare wrote the Bible? 

Frances (laughing). Viola,* I think you'd better 
keep on with the reading circle. Shakespeare didn't 
write the Bible. 

Ella. And you were wrong about "Evangeline," 
too. William Jennings Bryant wrote that. Evangeline 
was his sister and she died when she was young and 
he saw them bury her and he went home and wrote a 
poem about it. 

Frances. You're not right on that, either, Ella. 
It was Longfellow who wrote "Evangeline," and she 
was one of the Acadians, don't you remember, who 
got separated from her sweetheart and wandered 
around looking for him. Miss Harris told us about 



78 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

it at the last meeting of the reading circle. And it's 
William Cullen Bryant, intead of William Jennings. 

Ella. Well, I know I heard William Jennings 
somewhere. 

Clare. Oh, well, don't let's get talking about 
studies, we get enough of them in school. I'm think- 
ing about stopping school, anyhow. Mamma said I 
could if Miss Harris didn't stop picking on me, and 
as for that old reading circle, I'm never, never going 
again. 

Harriet. Neither am I. Mamma said I didn't 
have to belong to it. 

Viola. My mamma said so, too. We never studied 
such stuff before and it won't do us one bit of good. 

Frances. You'll find out. When you want to en- 
ter high school, they won't let you if you haven't done 
a certain amount of reading. 

Clare. Then it w^ll be Miss Harris' fault. I'm 
not going to belong while she's at the head of it. 
(Knock is heard.) 

Frances (opening door). Why, it's grandpa. 
Come in, grandpa. Give me your hat. (Girls rise.) 

Enter Mr. Zellers. 

Frances. You know all these girls. They came 
over to study their lessons for tomorrow, but we 
hadn't got started yet. Take a chair, grandpa. I 
hope you've come to stay for supper and spend the 
evening with us. 

Mr. Zellers. No, I came over to take you for a 
little automobile ride. I was at the public library this 
afternoon and was talking to your teacher, Miss Har- 
ris, and she told me of a reading circle she had estab- 
lished among her pupils. I am much pleased that you 
have joined it. It has always been a most ardent 
wish of mine that you might become fond of good 
reading. I thanked Miss Harris for her interest in 
you and told her that I would call and take you out 
to see the pictures of a number of famous authors 



COUXTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 79 

that I have lately placed in my library. They are fine, 
large pictures and I think that seeing them will in- 
crease your attention to your reading circle work. 
Your little friends Avill accompany you, of course. 
They also belong to the reading circle. After examin- 
ing the pictures we will have supper. I told the cook 
to make ice cream this afternoon. And then we will 
come back to town and see "Cinderella" at the Prin- 
cess. Your parents will not object. I shall telephone 
to them and obtain their permission. Get your hats. 
I'll go and crank up the machine. (Esit.) 

Viola. Oh, isn't this great! I've always wanted 
to go to see a regular play and Fve never been to any- 
thing but the movies. 

Ella. Your grandpa is a dear, Frances. Isn't he 
good to take us all ? 

Frances. But he's taking you because he thinks 
you belong to the reading circle. 

Ella. I do. You can just better believe I do. 
Where's my pin. (Takes if from table.) 

Clare. Give me mine, too. (Picks it up.) If your 
grandpa believes in the reading circle, there must be 
something in it. 

Harriet. Y^es, mamma says Mr. Zellers is the 
only man with a real education in this town. \Msh, I 
had my pin here. 

Viola. So do I. Fm back again in the reading 
circle. 

Frances. Good ! Let's hurry now and get ready. 
(They moz'e across stage.) 

Harriet. Say, who was it wrote ''Evangeline," 
Frances ? W^s it AMiittier or Shakespeare ? I always 
get those people mixed and your grandpa might ask 
us. My, I'm going to pay attention after this at the 
meetings of the reading circle. 

curtain. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 



ROSE HELPS ENTERTAIN. 

characters. 
Clara. Gerald. 

Mae. j^^3^^ Hubert. 

Scene : Living room. Rose is studying, Mae and 
Clara embroidering. 

Rose {looking up from geography). Clara, where 
is Lake Athabaska ? 

Clara. Gracious, how do you expect me to know? 
It's somewhere in South America, I beheve. 

Mae. So you remember some geography that you 
learned at school, do you? I've forgotten all I ever 
knew, but I can't say that I feel any the worse for it. 

Clara. Oh, I remember a little about Lake Atha- 
baska, for instance, but it w^ouldn't worry me any if 
I didn't. 

Rose. Why, you girls talk as if you wouldn't care 
if you didn't know any geography. 

Clara. Well, I don't suppose we would. What 
difference does it make whether or not we know 
where a lot of outlandish mountains, lakes and rivers 
are. 

Mae. That's what I say. I'd rather spend my 
time making something I can wear than poring over 
foolish school books. Isn't this pretty? {Holds np 
work.) Won't Gerald open his eyes when he sees me 
wear it? He's just the dearest fellow. 

Clara. Oh, he's all right when Hubert isn't 
around. {LI olds up zuork.) I hope I'll have this fin- 
ished to wear to the concert with him next Wednesday 
evening. 

Mae. But Gerald and Hubert are so interested in 
their studies. It would be kind of hard on us if they 
started talking about their lessons some evening. 

Clara. Never fear about that. The subject of 
lessons will never come up. We'll have something 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. ~ 81 

better to talk about. Anyhow, all a boy expects of a 
girl is that she dresses nicely and has her hair fixed 
in the latest style. 

Rose. I can't find Lake Athabaska in South 
America. I don't see why it should be there. Our 
lesson is about Canada. 

Mae. Oh, well, don't bother us. What difference 
does it make where it is? Look on the map of Eu- 
rope — seems to me it might be there. {Knock is 
heard.) Now, I wonder who that is. (Opens door.) 

Enter Gerald and Hubert. 

Mae. Oh, good evening. We're awfully glad to 
see you. (Boys greet girls, place hats on table and 
take seats.) 

Hubert. The date for the concert has been 
changed. So we thought we'd better stop in for a 
few minutes on our way to the club meeting to tell 
you. It will be on Thursday evening instead of 
Wednesday. 

Rose. Say, Hubert, can you tell me where Lake 
Athabaska is? Lve been looking for it all evening. 
I asked the girls, but — 

Clara. Now, Rose, the boys don't want to be 
bothered with your lessons. You'd better go out to 
the dining room and — 

Hubert. Why, it isn't any bother at all, Clara. 
I was always very much interested in geography when 
I was in the lower grades at school. Lake Athabasca, 
Rose, is in Canada. (Rises and points to it on map.) 
Right there, don't you see? 

Rose. Oh, thank you. Clara said it must be in — 

Clara. Don't you think it has turned a great deal 
warmer this evening? 

Gerald. Why, I was just remarking to Hubert as 
we came along that it seemed so cool and pleasant, 
but of course it may have been imagination on my 
part. 

Rose. Why, you were talking yourself a minute 



82 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

ago of how cool it was this evening, Clara. You must 
be dreaming. Now if someone will tell me what the 
chief agricultural product of Canada is, I'll be all 
through my geography lesson ? What is it, Mae ? 

Mae. Why, corn, of course. You'd better go out 
to the dining room, Rose. Maybe mamma wants you. 

Gerald. But pardon me, Mae, isn't wheat the 
leading crop of Canada? 

Rose. Of course it is. I remember now. The 
teacher told us. She said it was too cold in Canada 
for corn. Do you like geography, too, Gerald? Clara 
and Mae said there was no fear of you boys — 

Mae. Rose, wasn't that mamma calling you ? Per- 
haps she has something for you to do. 

Rose. Now, what could she have for me to do at 
this time of the night? I did the dishes that you and 
Clai;a slipped off without doing. Mamma said — 

Clara. Why did they change the concert from 
Wednesday to Thursday night ; do you know ? 

Hubert. Why, the leading singer received an invi- 
tation to attend a wedding on Wednesday, I believe, 
and could not be back in time for that evening. 

Rose. Now, Tve only got to get my history les- 
son and then I'll be through. Oh, yes, the teacher 
told us to find out for tomorrow who Brutus and 
Cromwell were. Who were they, Mae? 

Mae. Why, they were — they were — really, Rose, 
I think you are making the evening very uninteresting 
with your silly school questions. You'd better go and 
see if mamma hasn't something for you to do. 

Rose. Now, what could there be to do after the 
dishes are washed? Mamma said if you and Clara 
ever slipped off again and didn't do the dishes — 

Clara. It's getting so warm we ought to have 
some of the windows opened — oh, I mean it has turned 
so cool we ought to have a little fire. Rose, can't 
you get some kindling? 

Rose. A fire ! You must be talking in your sleep. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 83 

Say, who were Brutus and Cromwell? You tell me, 
Gerald. Hubert found Lake Athabaska for me. 

Gerald. Certainly, Rose. I'm glad to be of any 
assistance to you, and history is my favorite study. 
Brutus was a Roman, at one time a friend of Julius 
Caesar, but when Caesar became a tyrant, Brutus 
stabbed him. Cromwell was an Englishman and was 
instrumental in having Charles I., also a tyrant, be- 
headed. 

Rose. Oh, thank you. I'll have the other girls beat 
a mile. (Clara motions for Rose to leave room.) 
You needn't be shaking your finger and making eyes 
at me, Clara. That's not anything to say. It's not near 
as bad as you said the other day. Why, you said — 

Clara. Didn't I hear some one whistling outside? 
(Hubert and Gerald rise.) 

Hubert. That's the other boys. They said they'd 
wait for us. {All move toward the door.) 

Gerald. Well, you girls must be sure not to dis- 
appoint us about the concert. 

Rose. Oh, they'll go. Nothing could keep them 
home. They've been sewing and fixing ever since 
they heard about it, and Mae said she bet Gerald 
would open his eyes — 

Mae (hurriedly opening door). Well, good night, 
boys, and we'll expect you over Thursday evening. 

Hubert. Yes, we'll be over early. 

Rose. Don't come too early because they have to 
do the dishes. (Clara pushes Rose from door which 
she hastily closes.) 

Mae. If you ever stay in here again — 

Clara. When we have company — 

Rose {surprised) . Why, what did I do? 

Curtain. 



84 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 



STATE PRIDE. 





CHARACTERS. 




Amelia. 




Frances. 


Rose. 




Virginia. 


Clara. 




Maria. 



Scene: Class room,. Girls reading. Amelia 
throws down book. Others look vip startled. 

Clara. My, how you frightened me! 

Frances. If you were trying to imitate a clap of 
thunder, Amelia, I can't say much for your perform- 
ance, but if you were endeavoring to remind us that 
we all have nerves, why, you succeeded. 

Virginia. You must have come to the part in your 
story where the gallant hero kisses the fair heroine 
and it so filled your unromantic soul with disgust 
that you risked damaging the binding of your book. 

Rose. No, I think it was a sad story she was read- 
ing and, just as she was on the. point of bursting into 
tears, she threw the book aside. You know Amelia 
boasts that no one has ever seen her weep. 

Maria. What was the matter, Amelia? The look 
on your face — it is so sad. The story — 

Amelia. Oh, it wasn't the story at all, Mexie, dear. 
The fact is, I was only pretending to read. Fve just 
been thinking — and thinking — of how all the folks at 
home are enjoying the Christmas holidays — every one 
of them there but me — and here I am in this lone- 
some, forsaken old school. And you girls feel just as 
bad as I do. It's no use for you to try to keep up your 
''Let's make the best of it" game any longer. 

Virginia. I know / feel bad. It would have been 
better if we had gone with the other girls for a walk. 

Clara. Not for me in this zero weather. My, 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 85 

how I hate the cold! Just think; if I were at home 
I would be out in the balmy sunshine gathering roses, 
while here in Missouri — 

Rose. Oh, don't say anything against Missouri. 
She's a great old state. 

Clara. Then she's a mighty humble one, too, and 
keeps her greatness hidden. I've been here since Sep- 
tember and all I know is that the people say "taken" 
when they should say ''took," and that when an order 
was sent to St. Louis from France for snails the word 
sent back was, ''The people of Missouri are too slow 
to catch snails." 

Rose. Oh, you heard that joke somewhere and 
just brought it in about St. Louis ; but if the people 
of Missouri are so slow, why are you up here at 
school? Aren't there any good schools in Maryland? 
Clara. Oh, the best in the world, but it happened 
that my mother came here to school and so she wishes 
me to study here also. And the school is all right. 
It's a very good school — if it were only in "Mary- • 
land, My Maryland." (Sings part of the song.) 

Virginia. That's a fine song, Clara, and your mu- 
sical voice is just as pleasing as ever, but how conld 
the people of your state have turned against Lee 
when he and his troops entered singing that song. 
They should have helped the South. 

Clara. Oh, no; I don't agree with the song. I 
only sang it on account of the title. And Lee should 
never have entered the state. He was a rebel and — 
Virginia {springing np). A rebel! Yes, if Wash- 
ington was. Listen to this. It's a poem I came across 
yesterday and it's so just and right I memorized it. 
{Recites dramatically.) 

"Virginia sends her noblest 

Her Washington and Lee 

To grace their place in the Hall of Fame. 

For all posterity. 



86 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

There let them stand as heroes — 
The crownless and the crowned — 
One conquering, one conquered— 
Both equally renowned. 
Sons of a Southern mother 
Virginia's very own, 
A pair of the finest rebels 
The world has ever known." — Lampton. 
Rose. A line poem, Virginia, and the way you 
recited it is a credit to our elocution teacher, but 
don't let us fight the old Civil War over again. We 
have a more modern one on hand right now. What 
induced you to come to Missouri? Your mother at- 
tend this school, too? Oh, no. I forgot that Miss 
Abbott is your aunt. 

Virginia. Yes, and so papa and mamma, when 
they concluded that a boarding school was necessary 
for their little Virgie, decided she would be happier 
away from home if some relative were constantly at 
hand; but never again. Aunt Jennie does not make 
up for ''My Old Virginia Home." 

Amelia. Oh, don't say that. It reminds me too 
much of ''My Old Kentucky Home." {Sings part of 
song.) I'll answer your question before it is asked. 
Rose. I don't know why I came up here to Missouri 
and, with all respect to my honored parents, I don't 
think they know why they sent me from Kentucky to 
Missouri. 

Frances. I can't imagine, either, any more than I 
can fathom what possessed the mind of my guardian 
when he couldn't realize what a mistake he was mak- 
ing in forcing me to leave the great and glorious 
state of Tennessee. Oh, how I wish I were back 
there. {Stands and recites.) 

"And I fain would hear the south wind 
Bring once more the sound to me 
Of the wavelets softly murmuring 
On the shores of Tennessee." 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 87 

Rose {indignantly). You don't need to think that 
Missouri hasn't a poem also. {Stands and recites with 
feeling.) 

Missouri, Missouri, 

All honor to thy name ! 

The God of Nature hath bestowed 

Upon thee wondrous fame. 

Thy rivers, valleys, mountains, 

Thy genial sunny clime. 

Are glorious gifts of Providence — 

Eternal and sublime. 

Missouri, Missouri, 

Thy past is well secure. 

Heroic deeds thy years surround, 

Their splendor will endure 

As time rolls on, proclaiming 

Thy allegiance as of yore 

To God, to home and country, 

Now and forever more. 

Missouri, Missouri, 

Historic, grand old state! 

A smiling future beckons thee 

Nor bids thee dread thy fate. 

Resourceful land of plenty, 

Wealth laden is thy soil. 

Its depths contain a joy supreme — 

Just recompense for toil. 

Missouri, Missouri, 
Land famed for being shown. 
Thou hast become a nation's pride 
Through virtues all thine own. 
Columbia fair salutes thee 
With far flung open gates. 
Entreating thee by right to lead 
The sisterhood of states. 

Clara. Well, did you ever! 



8S COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. ' 

Amelia. Let me compliment you on the way you 
recited, Rose, but to think anyone could work up so 
much enthusiasm about Missouri! 

Virginia. That must have been written about 
Virgina and you just inserted ''Missouri.'' (Glances 
at Maria.) But what makes you look so stunned, 
Mexie? Are you afraid we'll get into a quarrel? 
Why, this is just one of our everyday disputes. 

Maria. But I understand it not. You talk about 
Virginia, and Tenn — Tennasaw — and Maryland so — 
so bitter. Are they enemies — these countries? I was 
of the impress that you were all of the same nation. 
It may be that my geography is wrong. But the 
States — are they no longer joined in union? In Mex- 
ico we speak not of ''Sonora," "Durango," "Coahuila'' 
or ''Oaxaco," but of Mexico, our grand, though now 
so sadly distracted countr}'. (Girls look at one an- 
other.) 

Frances. And that's what we ought to do, girls. 
Little Mexie has given us a lesson. We must give up 
these silly disputes about which state is the greatest. 
They are all great. 

Virginia. You are right, Frances. So far we have 
kept all bitterness from our discussions, but we might 
get into a real quarrel some day. We live in a great, 
united country. x\fter all, isn't the best song ''My 
Country, 'Tis of Thee?" (They sing part of it,) 

Curtain. 



COUXTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 89 



TEASING FRANK. 

characters. 

Harry. Frank. 

Fred. Mr. White. 

Constable. 

Scene: A Street. 

Harry {meeting Fred). \\W\, how do you feel this 
morning? 

Fred. Oh, I feel like thirty cents with ten per cent 
off for cash. I don't beheve I slept half an hour last 
night. 

Harry. Neither did I. Those watermelons cer- 
tainly had their rcYcnge. We must have eaten a 
dozen. 

Fred. And not one of them more than a third ripe. 
Ugh ! I hate to think of anything to eat now. 

Harry. So do I. The other boys had the most 
sense after all. They said not to go to Old Man 
White's melon patch. 

Fred. Oh, that Sunday School bunch ! They are 
afraid to do anything. I hope you're not going to 
try to copy them. 

Harry. No, but if White finds out who got into 
his melon patch and cut open so many, he'll make it 
hot for us. 

Fred. Oh, don't be a croaker! Who's afraid of 
Old Man White? But I wish there was something 
doing around here. Such a dead town! {Takes out 
knife and begins to zvliittle.) 

Harry. There comes Frank Le May. I didn't 
know he was back from the country. 

Fred. Oh, that little molly ! I felt bad enough be- 
fore without seeing him. 

Enter Frank, a small boy, nicely dressed. 

Harry. Hello, Frank, when did you get back? 



90 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Frank. Just got in on the train, and say, boys, 
down at the station I heard — 

Fred. Didn't the cows want to eat you while you 
were out at grandma's? 

Frank. Why, no, of course not. Why should 
they ? 

Fred. Well, I always heard cows were fond of 
green food. 

Frank. That's mean. Fm no greener than any- 
one else, but you boys had better — 

Fred. What did you do all the time you were in 
the country? Did grandma allow her little boy to 
feed the chickens? And did you always take your 
parasol when you went out in the sun so you wouldn't 
get tanned? 

Frank. I never do carry a parasol and you know 
it, Fred Johnson, but if you don't want to listen — 

Fred. Say Frank, is it so your mamma sings you 
to sleep every night? 

Harry. Oh, keep still, Fred. You know that's all 
bosh. 

Frank. Of course it is, and say, Harry, if I were 
you — 

Fred. He's got on silk stockings. Well, I declare. 
Silk stockings ! 

Enter Mr. White and Constable. 

Mr. White. There they are! There's both of 
them! The two big ones. I got out to my patch just 
as they were leavin'. It was light enough to see. I 
can testify to both of them. Constable, do your duty. 
Arrest them. (Harry and Fred^ very much fright- 
ened, start to run. Constable seizes them.) You 
destroyed fifty dollars' worth of my melons. It's a 
penitentiary act. You'll both go up for ten years. 
Have you got the handcuffs, constable? 

Constable. No, I didn't bring any along. But 
I can put them on at the jail. Come on. 



COUXTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 91 

Harry. Oh, Mr. White, don't make us go to jail. 
U^e'll pay you for the melons. 

Mr. White, You haven't got no fifty dollars. 
Come on. Til teach 3^ou to rob an honest man. 
(j\Ir. White and Constable start to drag boys out.) 

Fred. IVe got over two dollars, Mr. White. Oh, 
please don't take us to jail. (Begins to cry.) 

Harry. I've got one dollar and I'll save up all my 
money and pay you every cent. Oh, please let us off. 

Constable. Mebbe, as it is their first offense, Mr. 
White, you could be a little easy on them. 

Mr. White (considers at length). Well, give me 
all the money you have. (Boys eagerly place money 
in his hand.) Three dollars and seventeen cents. 
Well, it's not very much ; but if you boys always stay 
strictly honest, mebbe I'll let you off and won't take 
you to jail or make you pay the rest. But remember 
you are on parole to me and if I hear of the least 
mischief of any kind I'll pack you right off to the 
penitentiary. Come, constable. (They walk left.) 
\\"ell, I believe we gave them a good scare and that's 
better than telling their parents and stirring up a lot 
of trouble. Here's fifty cents for your part. The rest 
will about pay me for m.y melons. (Exeunt Mr. 
White and Constable.) 

Frank. That's what I was trying to tell you boys. 
I heard at the station that you were to be arrested. 
Only they talked like they were going home for din- 
ner first. Guess that's v/hy there wasn't any crowd 
around. You can be thankful for that. Now, who's 
green? If you see anything green around here, Fred 
Johnson, it must be your shadow. (Frank leaves 
stage with head held high.) 

Harry. WtW, \yq were lucky to get off so easy. 
I'm going home. 

Fred. \Miat you going home for? 

Harry. I'm going hom.e and soak my head and 
see if I can get some sense into it. 



92 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Fred. I'm going home. 

Harry. What you going home for ? 

Fred. I'm going home to soak my head, too. 

Curtain. 



THEIR PRESENTS. 

characters. 

Mrs. Lindsley. Jennie. 

Mrs. Marsh. Don. 

Carol. Tom. 

Scene I. 

Scene : Living room. Various toys scattered about. 
Discovered Mrs. Lindsley, Carol, Don, seated. 

Carol. Well, I was certainly handed a lemon 
this Christmas — expected a diamond and got this little 
old pearl ring — and my furs ; why, I don't believe they 
cost hardly fifty dollars If things don't break a little 
better for me on my birthday, there'll be something 
doing around this place, I can tell you. 

Mrs. Lindsley. Carol, Carol! Such language! 

Carol. I don't care. I'm ashamed to tell the other 
girls what I got. You ought to see the locket Viola's 
father gave her. It has twelve diamonds in it. 

Mrs. Lindsley. But diamonds are not suitable 
for a girl sixteen years old. 

Don. Besides, you fared a whole lot better than 
I did — nothing but a pony and that football outfit 
and that set of books Uncle George gave me. I wish 
he'd keep his old books — and a fountain pen — 

Carol. Yes, and that fountain pen cost nine dol- 
lars and a half and that's more than mine cost last 
year. It's a shame the way my presents are being 
cut down. 

Don. Well, I'm not satisfied with anything I got. 

Carol.* Neither am L I wish — 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 93 

Mrs. Lindsley (severely). Not another word. 
Since yesterday morning I've heard nothing but grum-' 
bhng, grumbhng, grumbhng, till I'm tired of it. Go 
get your wraps. You are going out with me. Hurry. 
The machine will be ready in five minutes. 

Carol. Oh, going for a ride? Maybe you are 
going to take us down town to get us some decent 
presents. 

Don. Is that it, Aunt Carrie? Then I'm going to 
get a rifle and a pair of solid gold cuff buttons like 
Ray has. Wonder if Aunt Mary thinks I'd wear 
those silver ones she sent me. 

Mrs. Lindsley. Hurry children, and get ready. 
We must not keep George waiting out there in the 
cold. {Exeunt Carol and Don.) I never before re- 
alized how thoroughly selfish those children have be- 
come. They have never known a mother's influence 
and probably I've been too indulgent toward them. I'll 
take them down to Mrs. Marsh's and perhaps w^hat 
they see there may teach them a needed lesson before 
it is too late. 

Curtain. 



Scene II. 

Scene: Very poor room. Discovered Mrs. Marsh, 
sezving, Kitty picking nnts, Bert reclining in arm 
chair. Knock is heard. Mrs. Marsh opens door. 

Enter Mrs. Lindsley, Carol and Don. 

Mrs. Marsh. Well, well! Whoever would have 
dreamed of this ? Sure it's honored we are, Mis' 
Lindsley, to have you come back to see us so soon. 
Sit down on this chair. (Brings one forward, dusting 
it with her apron. Mrs. Lindsley sits dozen.) And 
this is Miss Carol and this Mr. Don, that you've told 
ine so much about. My, what fine children. Kitty, 
give your chair to the young lady. (Kitty does so.) 
And Master Don, you sit here by Bert and he'll tell 



94 r.^ryrA:' n^j/ooz: DiALOGrES. 

you all Santa Clans brought him yesterday. (Don 
.N/f.N^ )icar Bert.^ 

Mrs. Lixdsley. And how is Bert feeliiis: todav, 
:\[rs. Marsh? 

^Iks. IMarsii. Oh, he's ever so much better. Just 
thjnk — the doctor you sent to see him said maybe it 
wotild be only three or four months till he cotild walk 
as well as ever. 

Carol. Three or fotir months before he can walk! 
Can't he walk now? What's the matter with him? 

]Mrs. [Marsh. Ble was htirt in the factory where 
he worked. Some pieces of heavy limiber fell on him. 

Dox. Where he worked? Isn't he too little to 
work ? 

Bert. Btit I had been working there six months 
and I got two dollars a week and was going to get a 
raise if those boards hadn't fallen on me and smashed 
me. 

Carol, just think of anyone that little working! 
( Turning to Kitty.) What are you going to do with 
all those nuts? Make candy? ^ly, that would make 
a lot. Boston cream candy is good. Did yoti ever 
make any of tliat? 

Kitty. Xo. I never made any kind of candy in 
my life. I didn't know a person at home could make 
cau-dy. 

Carol. Then what are you doing with all those 
nuts? You can't use them all for cake, surely. 

Kitty. I'm not going to use any of them. They 
are not mine. I am only picking out the kernels. It. 
is my work. 

aIrs. ]\Iarsh. Yes, sometimes she makes as high 
as thirty cents a day. But I'm afraid the work is bad 
for her. Her cough seems to be getting worse all 
the time. She has to stoop over so much. 

Carol. Pick out nuts all day for thirty cents. 
\Miy, I get dreadfully tired if I pick out enough for 
a poimd of candy. What did you get for Christmas, 
Kittv? I wasn't at all satisfied with what I crot, but 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 95 

maybe it would seem like a lot to you. Oh, I beg your 
pardon. I didn't mean to say that. 

Kitty. I didn't get anything for Christmas. 1 
never do ; but Bert did. We always let him have the 
presents 'cause he's the littlest, and anyhow this year 
when he's hurt. 

Don. What did you get for Christmas, Bert? 

Bert {proudly). I got a mouth harp and a story 
book and a half dozen oranges and a big sack of 
candy. 

Don {in amazement) . Is that all? 

Mrs. Lindsley. Don't be so rude, Don. That's 
a very nice collection of presents and Bert is a dear 
boy to be so pleased with what is given him. 

Don {to Bert). But is that all you got? 

Bert. Oh, no ; I forgot. I got a bag of peanuts. 
My, I had more presents than any boy on this block. 

Don {pondering a moment, then turning to Mrs. 
Lindsley). Aunt Carrie, I feel like a hog. 

Mrs. Lindsley. Oh, Don, Don. Don't use such 
vigorous language. 

Don. But I do. Here I got a pony and a football 
outfit, and all kinds of books, and a fountain pen and 
cufif links and a pearl stickpin, and a new suit, and 
had my room all newly furnished, and oh, I don't 
know what all I got and I wasn't satisfied. I ought 
to get my head punched. {Turns to Carol.) You 
ought to, too, Carol. You were just as bad as I was. 

Carol. I know it. You don't have to tell me. I 
feel just like a — well, just like what you said, Don, 
only Fm too refined to mention such an animal. {To 
Mrs. Lindsley.) Say, Aunt Carrie, let's go home 
and dig up some presents — some real presents — for 
Kitty and Bert. {To Kitty.) You'll take them, 
won't you, Kitty? 

Kitty. Of course. I never got any presents in 
my life. 

Carol. Just to think of that! And I've always 
been getting them — on Christmas, and New Years, 



96 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

and my birthday, and name's day, and Thanksgiving, 
and whenever there was any other excuse to get them. 
Come on, Aunt Carrie. Let's go home. (Starts 
tozvard door.) 

Don {to Bert). I'm going to bring some toys that 
will make you open your eyes. Good-bye, Mrs. 
Marsh and Kitty. Maybe I can find enough for every 
boy in the block. {Exeunt Don and Carol.) 

Mrs Lindsley. Good-bye, Mrs. Marsh. They are, 
as I told you, kind hearted children, and only became 
selfish because they knew but one side of life. {Moves 
tozvard door.) 

Mrs. Marsh. They are just like their dear mother 
was. Miss Kitty is the image of her. How happy 
their kindness w^ill make my children. 

Curtain. 



A WAR INCIDENT. 

characters. 

Margaret Dorsey. Capt. Deane. 

Sarah Blakely. Mr. Burns. 

Robert. Uncle Rube. 

Scene: Sitting room. Discovered Margaret and 
Miss Blakely, the former reading and the latter 
knitting. 

Margaret {laying aside her book). I can't help 
thinking of brother Robert tonight. It has been so 
long since he wrote. I do wonder if anything has 
happened to him. 

Miss Blakely. Now, don't worry, child. You 
know, ''No news is good news." ' 

Margaret. But how can I help worrying? Every 
day we hear of how the Southern armies are being 
defeated and Robert is all I have in the world, except 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 97 

you, of course, dear Aunt Sarah. You have been 
more than a mother to us both. 

Miss Blakely. Never mind me, my dear. IVe 
done no more than I should for the orphan children 
of my only sister — ^but what was that? Didn't you 
hear a step on the gallery? There it is again. 

Margaret. Uncle Rube, I suppose. 

Miss Blakely. He surely couldn't have returned 
so soon. {Knock is heard.) A knock! Who can be 
here at this time of the night? I must open the door, 
I suppose, or it will be broken down. In such a way 
are we treated during this terrible war. (Opens door.) 

Enter Robert. His head is bandaged and he totters 
across floor. 

Margaret {seizing his hands). Robert, my brother. 
Oh, to see you safe at home once again ! But you are 
badly hurt. {Leads him toward chair.) 

Miss Blakely {her hand on his shoulder). Sit 
down, child. You look ready to faint. Til get you a 
glass of my blackberry cordial. {Exit.) 

Robert. Tm not badly hurt, Margaret, and Tm 
not going to faint ; but I've been hiding out on Hick- 
ory Ridge all day today and haven't tasted anything 
to eat since early yesterday morning, and together 
with this knock on my head it made me feel rather 
shaky for a moment. 

Margaret. But how did you get to come home, 
Robert? And why did you hide out today? Is any- 
one after you? {Starts.) Oh, I thought I heard 
some one at the door. 

Robert {laughingly) . Your imagination is just as 
vivid as ever, little girl. No, I fancy I'm quite safe 
now. But I didn't want to come home till nightfall. 
There are some people around here who. would be 
glad of a chance to give me up if they knew I had 
come home. 

Enter Miss Blakely zvith glass of cordial which 
Robert drinks. 



98 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Robert. Thank you. {Handing hack glass.) 
They don't make anything better on this earth than 
your cordial, Aunt Sarah. It isn't what I would have 
gotten in prison tonight. 

Margaret. In prison ! Have you been in prison ? 
Did you escape from there? 

Robert. I didn't escape from prison, but from the 
train on my way there. You see last Thursday ten of 
us boys were ordered out on a foraging expedition. 
But we fell in with the Yanks on our way back and 
they proved too many for us — captured the whole 
outfit — and we were being shipped back north along 
with a lot of others when a couple of cars jumped 
the track near Junction City. No one was hurt but 
the confusion was great, and as I knew just where 
we were, I slipped off instantly, and was gone before 
the guards got on their feet. 

Margaret. But they'll miss you. They'll be after 
you. 

Robert. Oh, I think not. They can't spare men 
to look for me, and even if they did, they wouldn't 
know all the short cuts I took and would be apt to 
give up in despair after a few hours. No, my great- 
est danger is in being mistaken for a spy. I'm within 
Union lines, you know. 

Miss Blakely. A spy ! But they hang spies ! You 
should have remained on the train. Prison would 
have been better than that. 

Robert (easily). Oh, don't be alarmed. Aunt Sa- 
rah. The boys all tell me I bear a charmed life. And 
I couldn't miss the chance of being with Lee at the 
close. (Sadly,) We are fighting for a lost cause, 
Aunt Sarah, but what can we do but fight bravely on 
to the end? 

Margaret. Then you are going back? 

Robert. Of course. A few hours sleep which I 
must have and — 

Margaret. What's that? There's some one out- 
side. (Knock is heard.) 



I 
1 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 99 

Uncle Rube {off stage). It's me, Miss Marg'ret. 
Enter Uncle Rube. 

Uncle Rube. I'se got some news for you. ^(Sees 
Robert.) Oh, Marse Robert, Marse Robert. 

Robert (shaking his hand heartily). Good old 
Uncle Rube ! Why, to see you alone is worth any 
risk. But what is your news for Margaret? Some 
love-sick youth sending a message to my pretty little 
sister? 

Uncle Rube. Not 'zactly. Captain Deane was 
crossing the bridge w^ith some men as I got in the 
field and he couldn't be coming nowhere but here. 

Margaret. Capt. Deane coming! Oh, he mustn't 
see you, Robert. 

Robert. That's a fact; he mustn't, or it's good- 
bye for me. How do you know it was Capt. Deane, 
Uncle Rube? I thought he was in Tennessee. 

Uncle Rube. He's back here now. And I know 
hit was him 'cause I heard him cuss about somethin' 
as he passed. No man can cuss like Capt. Deane. 

Robert. Then I must hurry. I'll go^ hide in the 
woods, and Uncle Rube, when they go away, bring 
me out some food. Good-bye all. Don't worry, ill 
be home for good soon. (Exit.) 

Margaret. Oh, will he get away safe? To be cap- 
tured as a spy! Oh, Robert, Robert. (Startled.) I 
hear someone outside. 

Enter Robert. 

Robert. It's too late. There are men all around 
the house. Some one saw and recognized me. I am 
caught like a rat in a trap. (Knock is heard.) There 
they are ! 

Miss Blakely (pushing him into other room). 
Hide in there. There's one little chance left. (Door 
opens.) 

Enter Capt. Deane and Mr. Burns. 



100 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Capt. Deane (bowing). Pardon me, Miss Blakely, 
for entering in this unceremonious manner ; but infor- 
mation has reached me that a rebel spy is in our midst 
and he has been traced to this house. I sincerely hope 
that I have been misinformed when told that it is 
Robert who is here on so dangerous a mission. You 
know the stern rules of war, but it would still be my 
duty to take him. Allow me to introduce my friend, 
Mr. Burns. Miss Blakely, Mr. Burns. (They bozv.) 
And this (turning to Margaret, who is nervously 
zuatching him) is Miss Margaret Dorsey, of whom 
you have often heard me speak (Margaret and Mr. 
Burns bow.), the daughter of two of the best friends 
I ever had. (Turns to Miss Blakely.) Now, Miss 
Blakely, I trust that you can give me your assurance 
that Robert is not in the house and that he has not 
been here lately. 

Miss Blakely (promptly). Of course I can. Will 
Deane. Whoever told you of Robert being around 
here must have been dreaming. The lad is in Virginia 
at this blessed minute, where you ought to be your- 
self instead of breaking into people's houses. 

Margaret (softly). Oh, Aunt Sarah! 

Miss Blakely. Do you think, child, that Til stop 
from telling him what I think of him? 

Capt. Deane (laughingly). No fear of that. 
You've expressed your opinion of me on many differ- 
ent occasions. But we are wasting time. I ask you 
again: Is Robert in the house? 

Miss Blakely. He is not. I wish he were and I'd 
have him put you out. 

Mr. Burns. Then it must be that my eyesight de- 
ceives me when I think I perceive a foot projecting 
in a suspicious manner from under the bed in the 
next room. (Ladies gaze at each other terrified.) 

Uncle Rube. 'Deed, mister, that ain't a foot. 
Dat's Miss Sarah's Sunday shoes. Miss Marg'ret 
blacked dem and set dem under dere dis mawnin'. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 101 

Mr. Burns. The shoe is that long. (Motions.) 
Surely you would accuse no lady of a foot so large. 

Uncle Rube. Dey's a big pair — a pair she done 
got when her foots was sore. 

Mr. Burns (motions again). But that large? Oh, 
no, Miss Blakely never wore those shoes. 

Uncle Rube. Den dey's mine or — or — somebody's. 
Deed, sir, Marse Robert ain't under dat bed. 

Mr. Burns. And still I thought I heard a mo- 
ment ago something like a sneeze — 

Uncle Rube. Dat was me. I'se got a dreadful 
bad cold. (Goes tozvard door, snee::es violently.) 

Capt. Deane. Fm sorry, Miss Blakely, but duty is 
duty, and I must call in my men and have them search 
your house. 

Miss Blakely (bitterly). And has it come to this 
that you. Will Deane, give the order to search my 
house! You whom Tve known ever since we were 
children in school together. 

Capt. Deane. Don't make my position any harder 
than it is already, Sarah. You know how Fve always 
loved Robert. 

Miss Blakely. Then call off your men and leave 
him go in peace. He's no spy. He's going — (recov- 
ering herself) he's in the South. 

Mr. Burns. Capt. Deane, it will not be necessary, 
I think, for you to have your men called in. The 
house is small. You are familiar with it. Search 
carefully through the rooms yourself and I will re- 
main with the ladies (bozving), if they will permit 
me. 

Capt. Deane. I think that will be as well. (Moves 
tozvard door. Miss Blakely and Uncle Rube bar 
his zvay. Margaret clasps her hands and looks up- 
zvard. ) 

Miss Blakely (aside). Til do it— I'll do it for 
Robert's sake. (To Capt. Deane.) Will Deane, 
you've asked me to marry you on an average of six 
times a year for the last twelve years and I always 



102 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

told you that I despised a man who couldn't talk for 
two minutes at a time without using profane lan- 
guage— 

Capt. Deane. But I'm trying to stop. Honest, 
Sarah, I am. 

Miss Blakely. And when this war broke out and 
you went on the side of the North, I told you never 
to set foot in my house again; but if you'll leave here 
now and call off your men, I'll ride over with you 
to Squire Hepburn's and marry you tonight. (Capt. 
Deane turns to Mr. Burns. The others regard them 
anxiously,) 

Mr. Burns. You're in a hard position, Capt. 
Deane, but I know your sense of duty will prove su- 
perior to all personal considerations. However, per- 
haps this young lady can solve the difficulty. {Tvirn- 
ing to Margaret.) You have a very truthful coun- 
tenance. Asure us that your brother is not in the 
house and we will leave immediately. It distresses 
us greatly to be the source of any annoyance to ladies. 
(Margaret looks at him in a troubled zvay but does 
not speak.) 

Miss Blakely. Tell him, Margaret. Tell him 
Robert is in the South — hasn't been home for nearly 
two years. {Aside.) Oh, won't the girl tell one little 
fib to save her brother's life! 

Mr. Burns. We hate to be insistent, Miss Dorsey, 
but we must press you for an answer. Is your 
brother in this house? All you have to do is to say 
''No" and we leave at once. (Margaret slozvly sinks 
into chair and buries her face in her hands.) 

Capt. Deane {triumphantly). Now, now, Dick 
Burns. What did I say? Would she tell a lie to save 
her brother's life? Will you deny now that there is 
at least one truthful person on earth? {Turns to Miss 
Blakely.) It's all right, Sarah. The war's over. 
Robert is no spy. It was only a test. {Calls to 
Robert.) Come out here, Robert. (Margaret rises 
and looks from one to another in wonder,) 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 103 

Miss Blakely. But what do you mean? Haven't 
you come for Robert? {To Robert.) Don't come 
in yet, Robert. 

Mr. Burns. No, it is all right, Miss Blakely. The 
war is over. Lee has surrendered. Your nephew 
can come in safely. 

Enter Robert. Capt. Deane shakes his hand and 
introduces him to Mr. Burns. 

Capt. Deane. Now, Uncle Rube, if you're not 
afraid of taking fresh cold, go outside and tell Lieut. 
Smith to take his men away. {Exit Uncle Rube.) 
Now, with your permission, Sarah, we will all sit 
down and I will explain. {They take chairs.) Mr. 
Burns here, with whom I became very well acquainted 
in Tennessee, is a hater of the human race, or at least 
he talks that way, though I believe it's mostly all 
bluff. Anyhow, he maintains that there is no truth in 
the world. I guess he must have had a girl jilt him 
when he was young and trusting. {Turns more par- 
ticularly to Miss Blakely.) You know, Sarah, I am 
none too good myself — 

Miss Blakely. Yes, I know. 

Capt. Deane {taken aback). Oh — well, anyhow, 
I always maintained to Mr. Burns that there were 
some good people in the world and often tried to 
prove it to him ; but, sad to say, all my proofs fell 
flat and the way he crowed over me was a shame; 
but in my mind always was the thought: Some day 
ni make him acquainted with Margaret Dorsey. 
(Miss Blakely, Robert ajid Capt. Deane look lov- 
ingly at Margaret.) And, do you know, strange to 
say, Mr. Burns holds the deed to this farm. He's 
one of those northern sharks who are going to try 
to get all the land from the impoverished South, and 
when I found that out I made a bet with him. He 
was to give me the deed to this farm if Margaret 
proved that there was yet truth in the world. {To 
Mr. Burns.) Hand over the deed, Dick. {He does 



104 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES, 

so and Capt. Deane gives it to Margaret.) I must 
ask your pardon, Margaret, and yours, Sarah, for put- 
ting you to so severe a test. It was Dick proposed it 
when I told him about you, Robert, when I saw you 
slipping away from the wreck. I was over in Junc- 
tion City where I heard news of the war's end and I 
was passing just as the cars jumped the track. I got 
just one glimpse of you, but it was enough. I men- 
tioned it to Dick, and when we got into one of our 
usual disputes, he fixed up this plan. 

Mr. Burns. And Tm glad it has turned out so 
happily. You have restored my faith in human na- 
ture, Miss Margaret. I hope to become very much 
better acquainted with you. It is true I have obtained 
the title to some of the land around here ; but it has 
been done in an honest way, and I hope, now that the 
war is over, to prove a friend to the South. 

Miss Blakely. What a lesson I have learned! 
My trying to save Robert by my lies — 

Capt. Deane. Oh, they were only white ones. 

Miss Blakely. No. Any lie is hlack. I know that 
now. Margaret gets back the farm by her truth. 
Since I had to sign that deed I've been expecting 
each day to be forced to leave and I didn't know 
which way to turn. Oh, we ought to do what's ng/^if 
always and trust the rest to Providence. 

Margaret. And Robert's safe. There's no room 
for any thought in my mind but that. {Leans over 
and clasps Robertas hand.) 

Capt. Deane. And now, Sarah, put on your bon- 
net and shawl and we'll ride over to Squire. Hep- 
burn's. 

Miss Blakely. Why, Will Deane, the idea! I 
won't do anything of the sort. 

Capt. Deane. Yes, you will. You must. You 
said you would if I did not enter that room and sent 
my men away. 

Miss Blakely {slowly). Then I guess I will. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 105 

Capt. Deane {happily, clasping her hand). At last ! 
After a dozen years ! Great is the power of truth ! 
{Others crowd around offering congratulations.) 

Curtain. 



WHEN THEY TOLD. 

characters. 
Elma. Alma. 

Emma. Clara. 

Miss Miller. 

Scene: Class room. Discovered Elma and 
Emma. 

Elma. I don't see why Alma and Clara are so 
mean to us. They don't seem to want us along at all 
any more. 

Emma. No. They slip off every chance they get. 
Yesterday, when I was going up stairs with them after 
class, they just as good as told me not to tag along. 
They needn't be so smart. I am just as good as they 
are. 

Elma. They are always hanging around the 
teacher. They stay with her every evening after 
school. I don't see what they can be doing. Miss 
Miller oughtn't to have pets anyhow. 

Emma. She w^ouldn't be so struck on them if she 
knew they were the very ones who put the red pepper 
on the stove when we were practicing those songs for 
the entertainment last week. I've a notion to tell her. 

Elma. It would serve them right. We always 
were good enough for them till the last week or so. 
They're stuck up, I guess, because they have better 
parts in the entertainment than we have and because 
their dresses will be prettier. 

Emma. Yes, Miss Miller oughtn't to let them wear 
those hand embroidered dresses. They'll make ours 



106 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

look like rags and we stand together in the front row 
in all the songs. 

Elma. Let's fix them. Let's tell Miss Miller and 
she'll put them out of the entertainment. She said 
she would if she found out the ones who put that red 
pepper on the stove. 

Emma. She'd never put them out. 

Elma, She'd have to. She said she would and 
she'd have to keep her word. They are no better 
than the rest of us. 

Emma. All right. If you'll tell, I will, too. They 
can't be much more hateful to us than they are now, 
anyhow, and Ed like to show Miss Miller that her 
pets aren't so great. There she comes now. 

Enter Miss Miller. 

Miss Miller. Why, I thought all the girls had 
gone home. It's against the rules to stay after class 
hours. Don't you know that? 

Elma {aside)- It doesn't seem to be for some. 

Miss Miller. What was that you said, Elma? 

Elma. Nothing. 

Miss Miller. Why, of course you said some- 
thing, Elma. If it were worth saying at all, it was 
worth saying aloud. What is the matter with you 
two girls, anyhow? Both of you have been acting in 
such a sullen manner lately. 

Emma {in a lozv tone). I guess we act as good as 
anybody else. 

Miss Miller {severely). You certainly do not. 

Elma. We act as good as your pets do. 

Miss Miller. Just what do you mean by that? 

Emma. We act as good as Clara Mason and Alma 
Brown. They were the ones who put the red pepper 
on the stove last week. 

Elma. Yes, they did. They are not as good as 
some people seem to think. 

Miss Miller {stepping hack). And you have told 
on them? You — their best friends — or at least I al- 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 107 

ways "thought you four were the best friends in the 
school 

Emma. We may have been once, but the way 
they've sHghted us during the past couple of weeks 
would kill any friendship. 

Elma. Just because they have better parts in the 
entertainment and their dresses are prettier than ours 
— but a lot of good their dresses will do them now 
when they can't take part. You said you wouldn't 
let the ones who put the red pepper on the stove be 
in the entertainment, Miss Miller. 

Miss Miller {severely). Don't presume to tell me 
what I said or didn't say, though I don't mind telling 
you that I will keep my publicly spoken word, and not 
permit Clara or Alma to take part in the entertain- 
ment, for which they have practiced so faithfully 
and so long. It will be a great disappointment to 
them, no doubt, but I would rather be in their posi- 
tion than yours when you learn why they have, as you 
thought, slighted you. I have always said that tale 
bearing is the ruin of any school. Well, perhaps this 
may be a lesson to you. I hope so, at any rate. 
{Exit.) 

Elma. What did she mean? 

Emma. I don't know. Why, there are Clara and 
Alma now. I thought they had gone home. 

Enter Clara and Alma. They run up joyfidly to 
other girls and seij:e their hands. 

Clara. Oh, there you are. I was afraid you had 
gone home. 

Alma. We have a surprise for you. Haven't you 
wondered what we've been doing off by ourselves all 
these days? 

Clara. We've been embroidering dresses for you, 
just like ours. We didn't want ours to be nicer than 
yours, so we went to your mammas and they gave us 
the goods and we've worked like beavers. 



108 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Alma. And Miss Miller helped us. She said it 
was so nice that we four should be dressed alike. 

Clara. Oh, say, we forgot to ask Miss Miller if 
she wanted us to come back tomorrow to practice. 
Just wait a minute here, girls. Maybe we can catch 
her. 

Alma. Yes, wait, and when we come back we'll 
go up stairs and show you your dresses. They are 
beauties if I do say it myself. {Exeunt Clara and 
Alma. Elma and Emma look at each other.) 

Elma. That's what Miss Miller meant. Oh, what 
have we done! 

Emma. They were working for ns all the time and 
we told on them, and now they are put out of the 
entertainment. 

Elma. How often we've been told what a hateful 
habit it is to tell on another. 

Emma. Now, we know. But, oh, what shall we 
do? {Buries face in hands.) What shall we do? 
{They seat themselves at desks and bow heads over 
folded arms.) 

Curtain. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 109 



WHY? 

characters. 
Mrs. Clark. Willie. 

Scene: Living room. Discovered Mrs. Clark, 
sewing. 

Enter Willie. 

Mrs. Clark. Willie, take off your cap. 

Willie (Jof/zo- ^o). Why? 

Mrs. Clark. Because it is very rude to wear your 
cap in the house. Now, don't ask ''Why?" every time 
I tell you to do anything. 

Willie. Why? {Takes seat near window.) 

Mrs. Clark. Because it is not necessary for a 
little boy to know the reason for everything. Don't 
sit there by that open window. 

Willie {changing seat). Why? 

Mrs. Clark. Because you have a bad cold and it 
will make it worse for you to sit in a draught. Get 
your books now and prepare your lessons for to- 
morrow. • 

Willie {taking seat near table and opening hook). 
Why? 

Mrs. Clark. There you are again with your 
''Why?'^ So you won't miss in class, of course. 

Willie. I didn't miss any of my lessons today 
but I had to stay in anyhow. The teacher said, ''Wil- 
lie Clark and Tom Rogers, stop talking," and Tom 
said, "I wasn't talking," and I said — 

Mrs. Clark. And you said, "Why?" and both of 
you had to stay in. I'm glad of it. 

Willie {surprised). How'd you know it, mamma? 
How'd you know that's what I said? 

Mrs. Clark. I know it because you say "Why?" 
to everything you're told. Now, hush and study your 
lesson. (Willie studies for a moment.) 



110 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

Willie {closing hook). Say, mom, while I think 
about it, I'll tell you. Mrs. Brown said she didn't 
want me to bring butter there any more. 

Mrs. Clark. Well, why not? Isn't she satisfied 
with my butter? It's a whole lot better than she can 
make. 

Willie. Oh, I don't know if it's anything about 
the butter or not. She kind of got mad at me this 
evening. She had her canary on the table and I 
picked up the cage to take a good look and she hol- 
lered at me to put it down, and I couldn't see what 
difference it made for me to hold up the cage a little 
bit and I asked her why, and she wouldn't tell me, 
but just kept on yelling, "Put it down! Put it down!" 
And all at once the bottom fell out of the cage and 
the cat got the bird. And Mrs. Brown just raved 
around. But it wasn't my fault. 

Mrs. Clark. Oh, Wilhe! Willie! You bad boy! 
Why didn't you put it down when she told you ? 
Won't you ever learn to do what you're told without 
asking '*Why?" Now I've lost a good customer and 
Mrs. Brown will be mad at me, and no telling all the 
trouble you've caused. 

Willie. Mr. Brown is mad, too. 

Mrs. Clark. Well, I don't wonder. He paid 
twenty-five dollars for that canary only last month. 

Willie. Oh, it wasn't about the canary. He didn't 
know about that. I met him at the front gate and 
he had a lot of bundles and a basket and he said he 
was nearly dead and would I carry the basket up to 
the house, and I took it and he said not to carry it 
by the handle. He had been carrying it under his 
arm. But the handle seemed strong enough and — 

Mrs. Clark. And so you said ''Why?" and 
started off and the handle gave way and the basket 
fell to the ground and whatever was in it was broken. 
WilHe Clark, you need a good whipping and I have a 
mind to give you one right now. 



COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. Ill 

Willie. Mamma, you're a fine guesser. That's 
just what happened. And he had some cut glass 
dishes in the basket that he'd borrowed for their party 
tonight and one of them was smashed and he was 
awful mad, and Mrs. Brown came on the porch 
and gave him a bawling out for letting me have the 
basket. She said he ought to a had better sense. And 
I came away. I wasn't so scared of Mr. Brown, but 
Mrs. Brown looked dangerous. She was grittin' her 
teeth and her eyes looked ready to jump out of her 
head. 

Mrs. Clark. Willie Clark, I don't know what will 
become of you if you don't learn to do what you're 
told without asking questions. Well, study your les- 
sons. Something will happen to you yet, I'm afraid. 
Your father will have to pay for that bird, I suppose, 
but Mr. Brown can fix it the best way he can about 
the cut glass. He shouldn't have let you touch that 
basket. But why couldn't you have carried it the way 
he told 3^ou? Oh, well, what's the use of talking? 
Study your lessons. (Willie opens hook. Mrs. 
Clark sezvs. Willie reads a moment, lays hook aside 
— picks up hornet.) 

Willie. Mamma, here's a dead hornet. Wonder 
how it got on this table? Did someone kill it and 
leave it here? 

Mrs. Clark. Better put it down, Willie. Per- 
haps it's not dead. They get torpid this time of the 
year and look like dead, but they can still sting. 

Willie (still examining it). Oh, it's dead sure 
enough. My, it's wings are long. 

Mrs. Clark. Throw it out of the window. 

Willie. Why? Oh — oh — oh! It stung me! 
(Jumps itp and dances around room.) It was alive. 
Gracious, it hurts ! Mamma, I didn't think it was 
alive. Oh, it hurts ! 

Mrs. Clark. Just a little lesson, \^^illie, not to be 



112 COUNTRY SCHOOL DIALOGUES. 

always asking ^'Why?" Come get some liniment. 
{Exit.) 

Willie {to audience). Next time I find a dead hor- 
net Fm going to kill it before it has a chance to sting 
me. {Leaves stage with finger in his mouth and ex- 
travagant symptoms of suffering.) 

Curtain. 
FINIS. 



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Lost Opportunities; An April Fool; Always Too Late; A Parlor 
Entertainment; Lessons in Cookery; The Traveler; Taking the 
Census; The Papers Don't Say. Also five Charades: Scandinavia; 
Grateful; Scintillate; Intensity; Stockade. 

"I find your Friday Dialogues just the thing for school entertain- 
ments." — M.ate S. Hoyt, Honey Creek, Wis. 

"Received your Friday Dialogues. Am highly pleased with 
them." — F. L, Donovan, Neville, Oo 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 23 Cents 




Dialogues from Dickens 

This book contains some of Dickens' most dramatic scenes. Full 
directions for presentation. May be rendered in any parlor or 
schoolroom. Contents: Copperfield's Proposal; Squeer's School; 
The Prentice Knights; Spenlow and Jorkins; Mrs. Gamp's Tea; The 
Circumlocution Office; The Boy at Mugby; The Friendly Move; 
Bumble's Courtship; Return of Sol Gills; Mr. Pecksniff; Bardell vs 
Pickwick; Mr. Micawber. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid^ 25 Cents 

Friday Afternoon Speaker 

A choice collection of popular pieces, in three parts. Part I con- 
tains pieces for older boys and girls; Part II contains short pieces 
for little folks; Part III consists qf short pithy dialogues for boys 
and girls. 

"I am very much pleased with the 'Speaker' which was received 
to-day. It is just what I wanted." — Lettie M. Cummins, Wood- 
stock, 111. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 23 Cents 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. Publishers 

154 W. Randolph St.. CHICAGO 




The Days We Celebrate 

By MARIE IRISH. 

A new and original book by a popular au- 
thor, whose entertainment books have met 
with great and most merited success. Bright 
dialogues, clever entertainments, fine recita- 
,, _ . , .,- ,„ , ^ tions and charming drills. Includes all the hoU- 

I ¥A^%V«^^i clays, with an especially fine list for Christ- 

Si fer.>^i^..- ^.r^^j^> mas. Contents: 57 pieces under the following 

heads: New Year's Day (1); Lincoln's Birth- 
day (1); St. Valentine's Day (1); Washington's 
Birthday (5); Easter (1); Arbor Day (9); Dec- 
oration Day (5); Flag Day (4); Fourth of July 
(1); Labor Day (1); Hallowe'en (1); Thanks- 
giving (10); Christmas (17). There is alwavs a demand for ma- 
terial for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and the following titles are 
all for those days: A Tale of Turkeys; Inquiring Pumpkins; 
Thanksgiving Pie; Thanksgiving Photographs; Little Puritan Moth- 
ers; Thanksgiving Tableaux; Just Before Christmas; Christmas 
Cradle Hymn; Jolly Old Santa Claus; Telephone Message; Assist- 
ing Santa Claus; Christmas Soliloquy; Mother Goose Christmas 
Party; Christmas Eve Conspiracy. A very popular book that is 
sure to please. 

"A clever and valuable collection. We can understand how 
teachers will welcome the coming of such a helpful book." — Journal 
of Education, Boston. 

*T received 'The Days We Celebrate' and like it very much." — 
Cora Henry, Cosam, 111. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 

Choice Pieces for Little People 

A fresh collection of the very best things for the little folks, con- 
sisting of 

Very Short Pieces of a Few Lines only, for the Smallest Tots. 
Pieces Illustrating a Moral. 

Pieces about Birds, Animals and Flowers. 
Funny Rhymes and Jingles. 

Pieces to be Read or Spoken. 

Dialogues and Charades. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 23 Cents 

School and Parlor Tableaux 

By SARAH L. STOCKING. 

A choice selection of original tableaux for school, church and 
parlor entertainment. They embrace a wide range of subjects, 
from the classical to the comic. 

THE BOOK CONTAINS 58 Tableaux and 5 Fine Pantomime 
Plays. These tableaux have proved so popular that several editions 
have been sold. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 23 Cents 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



GOOD THINGS' 
FOl^ CHRISTMAS' 




TS.DMSON 

PUBUJHER CHICAGO 



Good Things £or 
Christmas 

By MARIE IRISH, 

This book is filled with new and original ma= 
terial for Christmas, suitable for all ages. As 
the title implies, it is fairly teeming with good 
things in the entertainment line, and will fill 
the increasing demand for something new and 
novel. 

CONTENTS. 



Recitations and 
JVIonologues. 
A-unt Hetty's Christmas Gifts. 
Baby's Stocking. 
Beautiful Garden of Toys. 
Before and After. 
Best Claus. 

Bureau of Christmas Infor- 
mation. 
Christmas Glee. 
Christmas Secret. 
Christmas Spirit. 
Christmas Story. 
Christmas Tree. 
Christmas Troubles. 
Christmas Weather. 
Curious Little Ted. 
Day After Christmas. 
Dolly's Presents. 
Father Tim^e's Gift. 
Giving and Getting. 
Hanging Up the Stockings. 
Jolly December. 
Longest Day of the Year. 
Merry Christmas. 
Mr. Brown Leturns Thanks. 
Mrs. Santa Claus. 
Peace on Earth. 
Ring Christmas Bells. 
Splendid Word. 

Price, Paper Cover, 



Stupid Book. 

Ted Goes Christmas Shoppings 

Two Bys. 

Usual Way. 

What Then? 

Exercises, Dialogues, 
Drills, Tableaux and 
Scenic Readings. 
All Sorts of Children. 
Christmas. 

''Christmas Crazy" Class. 
Christmas Eve Pilgrimage. 
Christmas Lullaby. 
Christmas Patriot Drill. 
Christmas Quest. 
Christmas Stocking Tales. 
Christmas Thoughts. 
Christmas Wishes. 
Coming of Santa Claus. 
Favorite Month. 
Mistakes of Santa Claus. 
Most Noted Man. 
'Neath the Mistletoe. 
Star Drill. 
Stocking Drill. 
Trials at Headquarters. 
Two Views of Christmas. 
Unwise Men. 
Who Can Tell? 

Postpaid, 23 Cents 



Shado^w Pictures 

PANTOMIMES, CHA.RADES, TABLEAUX, ETC. 
By SARAH L. STOCKING. 

In addition to the Shadow Pictures, consisting of comic scenes, 
Illustrated proverbs, pantomimes, etc., the book contains directions 
for statuary and a picture gallery. The whole forms a choice rep- 
ertoire for schools, clubs, churches, etc. Full directions given for 
shadows, tableaux, etc. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 

T. S.^ENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 




Tableaux and Scenic Readings 

By MARIE IRISH. 

This charming book will prove a delight to 
a person in search of something new and 
novel. Contains 22 Scenic Readings, 4 Illus- 
trated Songs, 3 Pantomime Plays and 18 Ta- 
bleauxo The Scenic Readings are a novelty. 
The storj^ is acted in pantomime by perform- 
ers w^hile it is being read by a person at the 
side of the stage. Easy to produce and sure 
to please. Some are very humorous, while 
some are more for artistic effects. The Illus- 
trated Songs are very similar, except that 
songs are introduced. The following is a par- 
tial contents: Scenic Readings — At Country's Call; At the Spin- 
ning Wheel; Days of the Old Times Fashions; Grandma's Visions of 
Early Days; In Aunt Jane's Day; Jason Stebbin's Courting; Modern 
Maud Muller; Bachelor's Dream; Miss Amelia's Chances; Occasion 
for Thanksgiving; Pictures from the Poets; Visit from Santa; Win- 
ning of Margaret Dean; Introduction to the Ruggle's Family; In 
Quest of Loreen; Christmas Milestones. Illustrated Songs — Savior, 
Pilot Me; A Serenade; We'd Better Bide a Wee. Pantomimes- 
Interrupted Courtship; Love's Triumph; Love Will Find a Way. 
Tableaux — Does He Love Me? Evening Prayer; Old Maid and Girl 
Bachelor; Scenes from Hiawatha; Stolen Sweets. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 23 Gents 

Everybody's Letter Writer 

By MARY E. NASH. 

After a brief chapter on punctuation, use "of capitals and other 
preliminaries, this book is entirely devoted to letters. What most 
people need is not theory but a model to show them how a thing is 
done. Here are about seventy letters on many subjects. When you 
wish to write a letter you have only to consult the book, find your 
model and then form your letter upon that, putting what you want 
to suit yourself. 

"Everybody's Letter Writer" is not full of love-sick effusions 
and long-winded models of high-flown style from impossible Ches- 
terfields to imaginary Counts and Duchesses. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 



Good Manners 



By MARY E. NASH. 

That a man is known by his manners is a saying too trite to 
need a repetition here. History is full of instances where a very 
slight blunder has ruined a person's prospects of attaining a cov- 
eted object. Youth is the time to acquire good manners, but it is 
never too late to learn. This book is concise, correct, and up to 
date. It contains numerous models of notes, invitations, etc. The 
chapter on COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE is one of the best ever 
published. Without being silly it deals with this tender subject in 
a w^ay that will greatly assist the inexperienced. A gem of a bock. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGQ 



Children's Comic Dialogues 

By MARIE IRISH, 

Author of Many Successful Entertainment 

Books for Children from Six to Eleven 

Years of Age. 

CONTENTS (33 pieces): Adam, Eve and Ap- 
ples; Animals in the Circus; Birds, Trees and 
Flowers; Captain of the Ball Nine; Charlie 
Slasher's Mistake; Christmas Conundrums; 
City Ignorance; Class in Geogi^aphy; A Coon 
Concert; A Daring Bicycler; Dreadful Boys; 
Feminine Bravery; Fishing Party; Foxy Grand- 
pa; Fred's Mistake; Friday Afternoon Compo- 
sitions; Getting Acquainted; Giving Aunt Jane a Shock; Hattie's 
Singing Lesson; How Girls Study; A Joker Joked; Keeping Store; 
Learning to Say Yes; Making a Cake; Neighborly Call; A Prome- 
nade; The Sewing Society; A Sick Pupil; The Spelling Lesson; 
Telling the Truth; Thanksgiving Dinner; Thanksgiving Spread; 
Where's My Cake. 

Price, Paper Cover, Posttpaid, 23 Cents 




Catchy Comic Dialogues 

By IVIARIE IRISH, 

Original, Humorous Dialogues for Young 
People and Adults. 

CONTENTS (27 pieces): An Abandoned Baby; 
kn April Fool Joke; At the Photographer's; 
Aunty Cheerful's Visit; Boarding House Tid- 
bits; Buying Eggs; Byron's Accident; A Capa- 
ble Servant; A Christmas Surprise; Enjoy the 
Telephone; Entertaining Sister's Beau; Get- 
ting Ready for a Visit; Getting Rid of an 
Agent; Interviewing Servant Girls; A Joker in 
Disgrace; The Joy ®f Receiving; A Minister's 
Mistake; Sending a Telegram; A Serenading Party; Social Diffl- 
-.•ulties; Society for the Suppression of Slang; The Stars and 
Stripes; A Thanksgiving Lesson; Thanksgiving Reminders; The 
Thanksgiving Spirit; The Train to Loontown; What's In a Name. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 




T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W, Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



Twinkling Finders and 
Swaying Figures 

By CLARA J. DENTON. 

Music by W. C. PARKER. 

Illustrated. 

A g-em of a book. New finger and motion 
plays and songs. Tlie best thing for the Uttle 
ones ever issued at so low a price. The sub- 
jects are such as always interest children. The 
rhymes are simple and catchy. The music is 
easy and taking. There are six new tunes, and 
other pieces in the book are arranged to be 
sung to them, affording much variety. This 
is a book for the Home, the School, the Kin- 
dergarten, or Exhibitions. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 



-m 


^^^^ 


^ 


i 


TWINKUNG FINGERS 




PRICE 23« 
T.S. DENI50N 




. 







Mother Goose's Goslings 

Play containing songs with music, by Elizabeth T. Gup till; 9 
g-irls, 7 boys. Time, 30 m. Easy to present. No scenery, cos- 
tumes simple. Children never tire of Mother Goose melodies, and 
never have they been better arranged for an entertainment. This 
is a lively little play, full of fun and sure to make a hit. 

Price, Postpaid, 15 Cents 

The Old Maids' Club 

Comic entertainment in one scene, by Marie Butterfield; 2 
males, 16 females. Time, about 1^ hours. Costumes old-maidish 
and grotesque. The club is organized to secure husbands, and 
the recital of their adventures in the chase is very funny. Just 
the thing for a church or woman's club entertainment. Easy to 
produce and a money-maker. An evening of refined, hilarious fun. 

Price, Postpaid, 25 Cents 

The Gruff Jud^e and Happy 
Santa Claus 

Christmas cantata, libretto by Fanny E. Newberry, music by T. 
M. Towne; 6 males, 5 females. Chorus of boys and girls. Scenes: 
Simple interiors. Santa Claus (bass). Mrs. Fry, the Judge's house- 
keeper (soprano). Mrs. Manning, a poor widow (alto). Bessie, 
Maggie and Grace (soprano and alto). Judge Sterne (tenor). 
Zeke, his servant. Jamie, the widow's son. Harry (tenor). Joe, 
a boy. Costumes simple. A bright, clever plot and very pleasing 
music. 

Price, Postpaid, 30 Cents. Six Copies, $1.25 



T. S. DENISON 6i COMPANY, Publishers 

134 W. Randolph Street; GHICAt^O 



WIDEAW5\KE 







Wide Awake Dialogues 

By T. S. DENISON 

Author of **The Friday Afternoon Dia- 
logues" and 40 Plays 

Half a Million Books Sold 



Contents (28 pieces): Barring Out the 
Teacher. Bachelor Girls' Club. Becky Calico. 
The Bootblack. Boy Who Was a Coward. 
The Camera Obscura. The Durbar. Fred's 
Going to California. The Gold Brick. The Gos- 
The Lady Novelist. Lemonade Stand. 



Visit to Town, 
sipers. Got a New Suit. 

Monkey and Madstone. New Boy in School. Old Photograph Al- 
bum. Playing Married. The Seance. Sea Serpent vs. Mermaid. 
Sitting Up for Husbands to Come Home. Slow Beau and Fast 
Beau. Stolen Pocketbook. Stolen Sweets. Stolen Watermelons. 
Trying the New Teacher. What Bird Would You Be? When I 
Am a Woman. 
Fresh subjects, some for boys alone, some for girls, some for both. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 



The Surprise Drill Book 

By MARIE IRISH. 

Author of "The Best Drill Book" 

New Drills With Diagrams and Full In- 
structions. Fresh, Striking, and Sure 
to Please 

Contents: Bell and Belle Drill. Burlesque | 
Flower Drill. Clown Drill. Contest of the Cans. 
Doll's Lesson, March and Motion Song. Ele- 
phant Drill. Father Goose's Convention. Father 
Time's Reception. Ghost March. Handkerchief 
Drill, Burlesque. Hayseed Drill. Heart or Star Drill. Japanese 
Lantern Drill. March of the Pinks. Rose Drill. Gun Drill. Holly 
Drill. Popcorn Drill. March of the Pilgrims. Suggestions for 
Fancy Marching. Sunbonnet Drill. Wand Flag Drill. The Witches, 
Song and March. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 




T. S. DENISON Sl COMPANY, Publishers 

134 W. Randolph Street. CHICAGO 



Yuletide Entertainments 

By ELLEN M. WILLARD. 

It becomes more and more a part of Christ- 
mas gayety to present the legends or the spirit 
of them to the eye as well as the mind. This 
book in play, pantomimes, dialogues, songs, 
tableaux, drills, marches, monologues and reci- 
tations has been prepared for this purpose. 
While the needs of adults have not been for- 
gotten, those of children have been most largely 
remembered, since Christmas is pre-eminently 
the children's festival. The matter is all new 
and original, by an author who from long ex- 
perience knows what is wanted for such en- 
tertainments, what young people can do successfully and what will 
please an audience. Full description with numerous diagrams and 
illustrations. Contents: All the Year 'Round; The Bell Song; A 
Boy's Christmas; A Christmas Bargain; Christmas Every Day; 
Cranberry March; Dance of the Holly and Mistletoe; The First 
Christmas; Fred's Christmas Shopping; Hollyberry Drill; In Grand- 
ma's Day; The King of the Year; Mrs. Randy's Christmas; Old 
Aunt Dinah's Christmas; The Pickanniny's Christmas; Pop-corn 
Dance; Ready for Santa Claus; Santa Claus' Garden; Santa Claus 
in Many Lands; Sleighbell Drill; The Spirit of Christmas; Too 
Much Christmas; We Know; What Counts. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 




Lau^hland, Via the Ha Ha Route 

By HARRY L. NEWTON. 

A merry trip over the road that never had 
an accident. Fare, 25 cents. Pack your troubles 
in storage, take a short vacation to Laughland 
and build up your tired and jaded nerves. No 
sleeping cars in operation on the Ha-Ha Route. 
No dust; no discomfort. Finest service guar- 
anteed to fun tourists. The Best and Newest 
Negro Minstrel Book on the market. A book 
you will read, laugh over and take home for 
the folks to enjoy. Part I, First Few Stops on 
the Journey to Laughland, contains a host of 
Grins, Giggles, Tickles, Bits of Fun and Nifty 

Rhymes. Part II, More Fun Stations Far From the Land of iVIel- 
ancholy, contains twenty-eight Cross-fire Conversations, Rapid 
Repartees and Little Talking Skits. Part III, Through the Valley 
of Happyland, contains fifteen Minstrel Monologues, Sketches and 
Stump Speeches. If you want to put on an up-to-date Minstrel 
Show you need "Laughland.' 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 




T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



Patriotic Celebrations 

By MARIE IRISH. 

There is an increasing" demand -from schools 
for entertainment material suitable for Lin- 
coln's Birthday, Washington's Birthday, Decor- 
ation Day, Flag Day and many other patriotic 
occasions. The book is in prose and rhyme, 
both humor and pathos, and all instructive. 
Children in the schools are taught early the 
meaning of our patriotic days and what our 
ilag means to us. Such a large number of our 
population are foreign born that it is a A'ital 
element of their education. Hardly a school en- 
tertainment is given or a program considered 
complete without its containing at least one patriotic numxber. 
The diversity of this book will appeal to any teacher, as it has 
always been difficult to find patriotic material other than recita- 
tions suitable for these occasions. It contains twenty-one Mono- 
logues and Recitations, ten Motion Songs and Song Pantomimes, 
twenty-six Exercises, Drills, Dialogues and Small Plays. All orig- 
inal matter. Miss Irish is one of the most successful entertainment 
writers of today, and her name as author is a sufficient recom- 
mendation of its merits. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 




Merry Little Dialogues 



By WILLIS N. BUGBEE. 




Thirty-eight original comic dialogues and plays 
for little people. The themes were inspired by 
the actual sayings and doings of children while 
at their tasks, in their plays and in their imi- 
tations of older people. They are of the na- 
ture that small folks love to learn and recite. 
The author has presented nearly every piece 
and his complete instructions on costumes, dec- 
oration of the stage and rehearsing is of ex- 
ceptional value. Contents: An Afternoon Tea; 
Bargain Hunters; The Best Plan; A Busy Morn- 
ing; Causes for Thankfulness; Choosing a Busi- 
ness; Christmas Letters: The Color Bearers; Fickle Fortune: The 
First Day 'Of School; The First Shave; The Fresh Air Children; 
Getting Readv for the Picnic; A Good Trade: Green Apples: Johnny 
Reads the News; The Little Patriots' Club: The Little Pilgrim 
Maids; The Minister's Call; Mother Nature's Trick; A Narrow 
Escape; Nature Study; The New Servant: The Night Before Christ- 
mas at Sprigginses; Plaving Truant; Raising :Missionary Money; 
The Richest Familv; The Scarecrow; The Sick Doll; Sissy; The 
Suffragettes; Teddv's Plans; Tending the Baby; A Test of Bravery; 
Washing Day; Wlien the School Bell Rings; Who Made Thanks- 
giving; Writing a Letter. 

Price," Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 



To S. DENISON 6l COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



Children's Party Book 

By ELLEN M. WILLARD. 

Parties for all seasons. "It is not the trouble, 
it is the planning of it that worries me." This 
is a phrase so often heard that it suggested this 
book of plans "ready-made." These parties can 
be simple or elaborate to suit your taste and 
can be arranged for any home with slight ex- 
pense. Invitations, decorations, games, refresh- 
ments, prizes and other valuable information — 
nothing omitted. There are parties for each 
month and extra ones suitable for any time. 
Contents: New Year's Party; Valentine Party; 
^aint Patrick's Day Party; April Fool Party; 
Garden Party; Flower Party; Roof Party; Vacation Party; Barn 
Party; Hallowe'en, For Children; Hallowe'en, For Young People; 
Winter Picnic; Mother Goose Party; Doll Party; Dutch Party; 
Easter Party; Rainy Day Party. This book is not only for the 
home but kindergarten and primary teachers will find in it 
valuable ideas and suggestions for school games, amusements and 
entertainments. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 




Little Plays With Drills 

By ELLEN M„ WILLARD. 

For boys and girls. It is always a difficult 
problem with teachers w^hen getting up an en- 
tertainment to find something for children, 
which does not require weeks of training. Hence 
the great popularity of drills. Little children 
like to keep step to music and it is surprising 
how quickly they learn the figures of a drill, 
but the training and rehearsing necessary to 
present a play is discouraging, as it is not 
easy for them to memorize the parts. This 
book is a novelty and combines both the ele- 
ments of a play and a drill. The speaking 

parts are short, just enough to carry the thread of the story and 
to introduce the drills. Easy to produce. Full descriptions with 
diagrams and illustrations. Contents: The Birth of the Flowers; 
Blossom Day; The Days of the Week; The Frog Who Would 
A- Wooing Go; Four Little Maids of Japan; Grandmother's Gar- 
den; Hallowe'en Frolic; Hollyberry and Mistletoe; Mammy's Christ- 
mas; The Menagerie and the Mighty Hunter; Spring's Greeting; 
Spring Song; Story-book Land; Vacation; Villikins and His Dinah; 
Washington's Birthday. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 




rTS.DENISON&COMPANVn 
PUBLISHERS 
^CfflCAGOo I 



T. S. DENISON Sl COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 




The Boys' Entertainer 

By MARIE IRISH. 

The authors of entertainments have always 
shown partiality to the girls and this book will 
prove a novelty and a boon to the teacher in 
search of material for boys alone. It contains 
over seventy- five titles: Recitations, Mono- 
logues, Dialogues, Exercises, Drills, Motion 
Songs, etc. For boys from six to fifteen years 
of age. 

CONTENTS. 
Antony's Address to the Romans. 
A Barefoot Boy. 
A Big Meal. 

Arbor Day, 
Banishing the Birds. 
Joe's Opinion of Flowers. 
The Pine Tree's Reward. 
Queer Flower Names. 
Queer Little Pussy. 
A Song of Arbor Day. 
A Spring Awakening. 

Memorial Day. 
A Forgiven Offender. 
Honor the Blue. 
My Grandpa. 
Our Fallen Heroes. 
Our Soldier Heroes. 
Scenes from Battle Fields. 

Flag Day. 
The Best Flag. 
Our Country's Flag. 
The Red, White and Blue. 
Last Day of School 
The Coming of Vacation. 
The Last Day. 

Thanksgiving Day. 
Be Thankful Things Aren't 

Worse. 
Frost on the Pumpkin. 
Giving Thanks. 
Grumble's Thanksgiving. 
A Gun Drill. 

Just Before Thanksgiving. 
My Blessings. 
Praise Ye the Lord. 
A Thanksgiving Reminiscence. 
A Thanksgiving Speech. 
Why We Are Thankful. 
Christmas Time. 
A Christmas Eve Ghost. 
Christmas Greetings. 
Christmas in the Air. 
A Christmas Stocking. 
Christmas Wishes. 
A Letter to Santa Claus. 
Santa Claus at the Bar of Jus- 
tice. 
A Visit from Santa. 



The Coonville Chorus. 

The Country's All Right. 

The Cow Boy's Song. 

The Doctor's Verdict. 

Fishing Song. 

It Must Be True. 

Mistakes in Manners. 

My Grandma. 

A New Kind of Names. 

Old Maid Drill. 

Only Jim. 

The Peal of the Bells. 

The Peddler. 

A Sad Case. 

Slighted "G." 

Song of the Engine. 

The Song of the Shirt. 

Speaking a Piece. 

A Strange Throat. 

Ted's Views of Early Rising. 

Trouble With Time. 

When We Are Men. 

Which Kind Are You? 

Why Should It Be? 

A Young Student. 

A Youthful Disappointment. 

Lincoln's Birthday. 
In Quest of Mercy. 
Lincoln. 
A Medley. 

Washington's Birthday. 
Being Like Washington. 
The Cherry Tree Hero. 
Our First President. 
A Tribute to Washington. 
An Unsuspected Hero. 

Longfellow's Birthday, 
Aids to Success_. 
In Longfellow Land. 
Longfellow's Fame. 
Long or Short. 

Easter. 
On Easter Day. 
The Risen Christ. 
Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

134 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 




^^■/y^^ ^ 



At Thanksgiving' Time. 

Be Contented With Your Lot. 

Begone, Dull Care. 

Be Thanliful. 

A Cheerful Caller. 

The City Maid's Poem. 

Columbia's Thanksgiving. 

Count Your Blessings. 

Dolly's Blessings. 

Dolly's Lesson. 

The Dreamer. 

Early Plymouth Days. 

Gather Autumn Treasures. 

Giving Thanks. 

The Golden Corn. 

Grandma's Soliloquy. 

Here's to Thanksgiving. 

In November. 

Jack Frost. 

Little Housekeepers. 

Lost in the Woods. 

Make-Believe Puritans. 

Miss Hepsv's Blessings. 

Mr. Turkey. 

November. 

November Can't Be Beat. 

November Is Here. 

November Sighing. 

The Old-Fashioned Cooking. 

One Thing I'm Thankful For. 



Good Things for Thanksgiving 

By MARIE IRISH. 

As long as the years shall roll around, bring- 
ing us the ever v^elcome Thanksgiving Day, 
there will be a demand for material for Thanks- 
giving programs. Fifty- eight original Recita- 
tions, Monologues, Dialogues, Pantomimed Songs, 
Motion Songs, Drills and Plays. The great pop- 
ularity of "Good things for Christmas" by the 
same author is a sufficient recommendation for 
this volume. It is exceptionally bright and 
clever and the selections cover all ages. 

CONTENTS. 

The Origin of Thanksgiving Day. 

A Pennant Drill. 

The Pilgrim Fathers. 

The Proud Turkeys. 

The Pumpkin. 

The Pumpkin Heads. 

Quotations. 

A Sad Discussion. 

A Sensible Boy. 

Some Noted Ps. 

The Story of the Pilgrims. 

Thanksgiving. 

Thanksgiving Day. 

Thanksgiving Hymn. 

Thanksgiving Wishes. 

A Thankful Boy. 

Thankful for the Flag. 

There Have Alv^ays Been Bless° 

ings. 
The Thompson's Turkey. 
Too Much Turkey. 
A Turkey Song. 
Ungrateful Children. 
A Welcome. 
What Mama Said. 
Why Be Thankful. 
Why We Should Be Thankful. 
Ye First Thanksgiving. 
Your Blessings. 



Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 

Private Theatricals 

By CHARLES TOWNSEND. 

Amateurs will find this book indispensable. It tells just what you 
want to know in brief space. It will enable you to give a suc- 
cessful entertainment instead of a failure. Scores of practical 
things are explained here which cannot be enumerated. This 
book is as necessary as the play itself to beginners. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

134 W. Randolph Street. CHICAGO 



The Favorite Book of Drills 

By E= M. WILLARD. 

New drills and marches that sparkle with 
originality. About one hundred illustrations 
and diagrams, making it one of the most com- 
plete Drill Books on the market. Contents: 
Blossom Drill, Christmas Drill, Daisy Chain, 
Dance of the Poppies, Darkies' Delight, Fan 
Drill, Flag Drill, Garland Girls, Good-Night 
Drill, Hottentot Hunters, Imps' Drill, Lantern 
Drill, Manners Class, May-Pole Drill, Parasol 
Drill, Rooster Parade, Saint Valentine's Day, 
Scarf Drill, Shepherdess Drill, Teddy Bears, 
Ten Little Injuns, Thanksgiving Drill, Traired 
Crows. No form of entertainment is more pleasing than drills. 
Children that would have great difficulty in learning "parts" for a 
play are easily taught to form the figures of a drill. This book con- 
tains a great variety. Some are humorous, while some are pictur- 
esque in effect. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Gents 




4 Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy 

By HARRY L. NEWTON. 

Original cross-fire conversations, gags, re- 
torts, mimstrel monologues and stump speeches. 
The author has had wide experience in min- 
strel and vaudeville work and has produced a 
book that will prove a boon to anyone getting 
up a minstrel show. It contains 23 of the 
brightest cross-fires for middle man and end 
man, and eight monologues that are screamers. 
There is nothing which w^ill offend, nothing but 
bright, original, clean, up-to-the-minute hu- 
mor, the kind 3'ou have been looking for. A 
few of the laughable selections are: Automo- 
bile Ride; Corn Beef Mine; Feeling the Bumps; From a Bright 
Family; Heart to Heart Talk; Kick in the Vice Versa; Old Maid's 
Complexion; One Hundred Dollar Bill; One in the Hearse; Only One 
Nose; Our Scientific Age; Trouble and a Cow; How My Father Be- 
came an Elk; My Brother the Book Worm; "Nervy" Talk; Stutter- 
ing Coon and His Speech on Politics; What Are We Going to Do? 




Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Rahdolph Street, CHICAGO 




TSDtNISON& COMPANY 
PUBLISHERS CHICAGO 



Monologues, Grave and Gay 

]^PwP19,^yL^> By MAYME RIDDLE BITNEY. 

GRAVg^tlPGAY 

Forty-four original selections. Dramatic, hu- 
morous and pathetic. Diversified in subject and 
sentiment. Particularly for women, although 
some are suitable for the other sex. It is safe 
to conjecture that as long as this old worM 
shall stand and entertainments shall be given, 
there will be a demand for readings, and at this 
time the popularity of monologues remains un- 
abated. Contents: Algernon Asks Papa's Con- 
sent; Allen Dale; At the Last Minute; The 
Bascoms Go to Tobyville; Belles of Shandon; 
Betsy Bowler's Awakening; Brady's Desertion; 
Bridget's Love Letter; Brother Joe; Case of Grit; Casey's Mither- 
in-Law; Cohen's Views on Business; Gift from Santa Claus; Hes- 
ter's Caller; Home, Sweet Home; Hummel Entertains a Caller; 
Johnny Reads the Newspaper; Kate's Agent; Kitchen Courtship; 
The Last Shine; Making Reuben Propose; Letter from Mother; 
A Man's Will; Matrimonial Storm; The Mayor's Husband; Miss 
Loretta's Chances; Mistah Johnsing's Defense; On the Wrong 
Road; Original Selection; Paper Says So; Pursued by an Automo- 
bile; Song of the Shirt; Sue's Baby; Sure Cure; Susan Barton's 
Confession; Tale of War; Telling the Truth; Troublesome Ben; 
Uncle Josh's Idees on Wimmin; Unfortunate Malady; Wandering 
Son; When Children Go to Sleep; When Jimmy Goes to Bed; 
Where to Hold the Fair. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 



Lively Dialogues 

By WILlIs N. BUGBEE. 

Contains 25 original dialogues. Lively, up-to- 
date and mostly of a humorous nature. The 
number and style of characters are greatly di- 
versified and both younger and older people can 
be used in their presentation. These dialogues 
have all been "tried out" by the author and are 
sure to please. Contains a valuable chapter of 
hints on the presentation of dialogues. Contents: 
Aunty Hodge's Thanksgiving Dinner; Bachelor 
Hall Medley; The Birthday Party; The Carol 
Singers; A Disturbance in the Family; The Ed- 
itor's Busy Day; A Farm for Sale; Grandpa 

Dean's Talking Machine; A Hot Day; The Lost Pocketbook; The 
Magic Wand; Miss Jones' Millinery Opening; Morning Callers; Mr. 
Chubb's Housekeeping Trials; The Planters; A Practical Use for 
Peddlers; A Proposal; Pulling Sam's Tooth; Reading the News; 
Scenes of the Sixties, (1) The Call for Volunteers, (II) Drafted, 
(III) The Departure, (IV) On the Campground, (V) News of the 
War, (VI) The Home Returning; A Sudden Discovery; The Tables 
Turned; Three Birthdays; Uncle Sam's Peace Party. 

Price, Paper Cover, Postpaid, 25 Cents 




T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

134 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



Scrap = Book Recitation Series 

By HENRY M. SOPER, president Soper School of Oratory. 

*Tlie selections are choice in quality and in large variety.*'-— /^^^^^ Ocean, ChicagOt 

"It excels anything we have seen for the purpose.*'— ^c^ec^^c Teacher. 

■^'The latest and best things from our popular writers appear here."— iVormai Tea/ok$F. 

'•The selections are fresh, pure and elevating."— Jfissowre Teacher, 

The Scrap-Book Series steadily grows in popular favor, As its name Indicates^ H 
contains a large proportion of new matter. Nothing appears in any way objecUoE^ 
»bl€ to the most fastidious Price per number 25 centSc 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

134 W. Randolph Street 
CHICAGO 



Tbis Number Contains **THB FATHER OF HIS COUNTRY," a Patriotic Pkg^ 
CONT»=NTS OF NO. i. POSTPAID, 25 CENTS. 

Allow for the Crawl (Humorous Poem). 

Art Thou Living Yet? (Poem.) 

At My Mother's Grave (Pathos). 

Aunt Kindly (Fine Pathos). 

Average Modern Traveler, The. 

Babies, The (Humorous). 

Baron Grimalkin's Death (Parody). 

Battle of Beal An' Duine. 

Birthday Gifts. 

Broken Home (Pathetic). 

Bridge, The. 

Common Sense. 

Day Break. 

Deacon's Call (Fine Poem). 

De Pen an' de Sword (Funny). 

Domestic Tempest. 

Doom of Claudius and Cynthia (Fine). 

Dream of Eugene Aram (Famous Poem). 

Drunkard, The (Poem). 

Ego and Echo (Comic Poem). 

Evening at the Farm (Poem). 

Expensive Chicken, An. 

Extreme Unction. 

Faces in the Fire (Fine Poem) 

Faithful Little Wife. 

Father of His Country (A Play) 

Fritz's Troubles. 

God's Time. 

Gentility. 

Ghost of Abel Low (Humorous) 

Grey Port Legend (1797). 

Horseradish (Comic). 

How Liaband I Parted. 

How Mr. Coffin Spelled It (Comic). 

How to Go to Sleep (Comic). 

Interview, School Directors and Janitor 

In School Days (Fine Poem) . 

I See the Point. r 

Keenan's Charge. 

Seep the Mill A-Going (Poem) 



Launch of the Ship. 

Life Boat Is a Gallant Bark. 

Little Folks (Thanksgiving Poem). 

Mark Twain and Interviewer (Hamor> 

Medley— Mary's Little Lamb. 

Modern Loyalty (Satiric Poem). 

Money Musk (Humorous Poem). 

Mr. Sprechelhelmer's Mistake (Diale<Hil 

Mrs. Potts' Dissipated Husband (Comie) 

News Boy's Debt (Pathetic Poem), 

New Year's Chime. 

Night Picture. 

Nothing (Poem). 

Old Grimes's Hen (Funny). 

Old Man in the Palace Car. 

Old Schoolmaster. 

Our First Commander (Patriotic). 

Passing Away„ 

Pat's Letter (Comic). 

Penitent, A, 

Professor in Shafts (Humorous.) 

Poetical Patch-quilt. 

Rum's Ruin (Temperance Poem). 

Resisting Mother's Love (Fine PatbO^ 

Revolutionary Rising. 

Sockery Setting a Hen (Comic). 

Song of the Chimney (Comic). 

Silent Tower of Bottreaux. 

Spring (Poem). 

Superfluous Man. 

To Memory of Brigham Young. 

Two Christmas Eves (Fine Poem). 

Two Roads, The (Fine Poem). 

True Life 

Unfinished Still. 

Water That Has Passed 

Weaving the Web (Fine Poem). 

What Is^It to Me ? 

What Is Life ^ 

Words and Their Uses (Humorous)^ 



Denison^s Descrtpttve Ltsi, 



SCRAP=BOOK 



RECITATION SERIES. 
Contents of No. 2. Postpaid, 25 Ceast^^ 
This Number Contains a Temperance Supplement. 

"" Life (Compilation) 

Lost Steamer, The. 
Man Who Hadn't Any Objection 
Model Discourse (Humorous) 
Modern Cain, Thee 
Musician's Tale (Fine Sea Taie) 
My Darling's Shoes 
Men of God. 

Old Clock in the Corner 
Old-Fashioned Mother 
Old Village Choir. 
One Glass More 
Only a Glass of Cider. 
Papa's Letter (Pathetic Poemj 
Parrhasius and the Captive 
Pat's Bondsman 
portent. 

Presentiments (Pathetic Poem}. 
Raising the Flag at Sumter. 
Response to ** Beautiful Snow. " 
Romance at Home (Humorous). 
Ruining Minister's Parrot (Comic/ 
Signing the Pledge, 
Soldier's Mother (Sentimental) c 
Sperience ob Reb-rend Quackc S^ro^i 
Steamboat Race. [(Humoroiisl 

Time Turns the Tables (ExcelieBt^ 
Traffic in Ardent Spirits. 
Tragedy, A 
Vera Victoria. 

Volunteer Soldiers of the Unioi:^ 
War with Alcohol, The. 
We Do Not Stop to Thln« ^ 
What Was His Creed? 
Why? 
Wounded (Battle PoemV 



Address to Class of '77, Knox College. 

Albert Drecker (Pathetic) 

Ascent of Fu-si Yama. 

At the Party, 

Battle of Gettysburg. 

Bay Billy (Battle Incident) 

Bells of Shandon. 

Better in the Morning (Pathetic) 

Blue Sky Somewhere. 

Brakeman Goes to Church (Humorous) 

Circumlocution on House Jack Built 

Chambered Nautilus. 

Confession of a Drunkard. 

Connubial Eclogue (Humorous), 

Dedication of Gettysburg Gemeter^^ 

Defense of Lucknow (Heroic). 

De Pervisions, Josiar (Humorous). 

Der Dog und der Lobster (Humoroas) 

Dream of the Reveler. 

Eloquence or Oratory 

Fatal Glass, The. 

Fate of a Fast Young Man. 

Flood and Ark (Darky SermoBi) 

Gambler's Wife, The. 

Glass of Cold Water. 

Glass Railroad, The. 

Grandfather's Reverie (Pathetic V 

Heart to Let. 

He Wasn't Ready (Humorous), 

Hurrah for the Foort av July. 

I'll Take What Father Takes, 

Dlustration, An (Fine DescriptiotH^ 

Irish Philosopher (Humorous). 

I Vash so Glad I Vash Here 

Jimmy Butler and the Owl (Humorous) 

Legend of the Organ Builder 



Lemonade, 

]N:o. S,.- With Supplement of CHRISTMAS PIECES.— Postpaid 25 Cest 



A-ddress to Class of '77, National School 

of Oratory, 
American Sam Weller (Humorous). 
Am Life Wuf de Li bin? (Comic.) 
Battle of Cannse (Fine Description) 
Bells, The. 

Benedict Arnold's Death-Bed, 
Blacksmith of Bottle Dell. 
Blind Boy and His Candle (Fabley 
Charge of the Lightning Judge. 
Christmas Blessing. 
Christmas Dialogue (Two Girls) 
Christmas Dream (Fine Poem) 
Christmas Thoughts. 
Day Before Christmas (Play). 
Deacon Kent in Politics. 
Decoration Day Speech (OratloDi), 
Diamond Wedding. 
Driving a Cow (Humorous). 
First CJhristmas (Ben-Hur). 
First Settler's Story (Pathetic) 
Fish Story. 

Flash— The Firemab's Story. 
God Wills It So (Temperance). 
Hang Up Baby's Stockings 
He Wouldn't Hush (Humorous). 
Kentucky Philosophy (Very Funny). 
King Christmas. 
Last Charge of Ney. 
Little Graves (Pathetic). 
Maud Muller's Moving (Humorous), 
'Carriage of Santa Claus (Humorous). 



Mary, Mother of Jesus= 

Magdalen 

Medley. 

Middlerib's Movement Cure (flumoroaa; 

Music Hath Charms (Humorous). 

Mosses— Earth's Humblest ChildreiA 

Napoleon at Rest. 

Nativity, The. .« 

Nineteenth Century Teacher (Hwmomiffl 

One Cent and Costs (Humorous). 

Opportunity for Effort. 

Palace, The (Descriptive Poen^L 

Pierre LaForge's Dream 

Poet and Painter 

Praise of Little Women (ExceAesii/ 

Problem of Life. 

C^uousque Tandem, O Catalina 

Ring Out, Wild Bells. 

Rizpah (Fine Pathos). 

Saint Christopher (Poem> 

St. Nicholas' Dashing Ride 

Soldier's Reunion. 

Soliloquy (Humorous). 

Smooth Path, A, 

Three Friends. 

Through the Loopholes 

Thunder Storm (Fine DescriptSojs).- 

Two Views of Christmas (Dialogiii*^\ 

Vat You Please (Humorous) 

Wanderer's Bell, The- 

What Farmer Greem SskM= 

What Is AmMtsow* 



Oemson's Descriptive JLtst. 



SCRAP- BOOK 

"Good in variety and will suit 
Aunt Sylvia's Geography (HumorouE 
Aurelia's Young Man. 
Autumn Thoughts (Humorous). 
Battle of Mission Ridge (Stirring). 
Bill Mason's Bride. 
Burdette's Advice to Young Men 
Calling the Angels In. 
Caliber Fifty-four. 
Christmas Song. 
Christmas Carmen. 
Civil War (Tragic). 
Convict, Kight Before Execution. 
Courtship Fair and Square, 
Decoration Day Address. 
Death of Little Hackei ^'Pathetic) 
Drinlcing a Tear, 
Driving a Hen (Humorous) 
Eastertide Deliverance. 
Every Year (Didactic). 
Expecting to Get Even. 
Fading. 

Family Government (lUustratioo) 
Farmer Stebbins on Rollers. 
Forever (Sentimental). 
Fritz and Betsy Fall Out 
Froward Duster, The, 
Girl in Gray. 

He Guessed He'd Fight (Comic). 
Help Me Across, Papa (Pathetic). 
Heroes and Flowers. 
Heroic Medley. 
How a Song Saved a Soul. 
I am Dying, Egypt, Dying (Poem) 
Intensely Utter (Humorous). 



RECITATION SERIES. 
Contents of No. 4« Postpaid^ 25 Cent^ 

all moods and conditlonB,**— Inter Ocean. 

Jerry (Pathetic) 

Joshua of 1776 (Fine Description) 

Kit, or Faithful unto Death. 

Lady Macbeth, Sleep-walking Scene 

Latest Barbara Frietchie (Com^.c) 

Leadville Jim. 

Leah, the Forsaken (Dramatic). 

Married Man and Bachelor. 

Mary's Night Ride (Vivid). 

Memory (Poem). 

Model Summer Hotel (Humorous) 

Mother's Doughnuts. 

Mr. Diffldent's Speech, 

Mr. Hoffenstein's Bugle (Very Funny) 

Mutilated Currency Question (Harmor 

Napoleon Bonaparte. [oii§^ 

Only Five Minutes to Live. 

Pat and the Oysters (Funny)- 

Petah (Comic). 

Prospects of the Republic (Oration). 

Queen Vashti's Lament 

Railroad Car Scene. 

Retrospective. 

Romance of a Hat ( F unny) 

Sam's Letter (Very Funny). 

Temperance Song RecitaL 

Tribute to Grant (Eloquent). 

Tribute to Longfellow. 

Untimely Call. 

V-A-S-E, The (Comic), 

Wee, Wee Bairnie (Pathetic) 

What the Robin Can Tell. 

Where Are Wicked Folks Burled' 

Women and Their Ways 



CONTENTS OF No, 5. PRICE, POSTPAID, 25 CENTS. 



Agnes, I Love Thee. 

Aux Jtaliens (Poem). 

Battle of Cowpens (Heroic Poem). 

Birth of the Rainbow (Poem). 

Blind Preacher, The. 

Burdock's Music Box (Very Funny) 

Cassandra Brown. 

Chariot Race. Ben Hur (Fine) 

Chief's Daughter (Tragic Poem). 

Christine. 

Codfish, The. 

Curly-head. 

Curtain Fixture (Humorous). 

Culprit A. (Humorous Poem), 

Decoration Day Poem. 

Der Oak und der Vine (Humorous) . 

Der Spider und der Fly (Humorous) 

Defense cf Hofer ('Patriotic). 

Domestic Economy (Humorous) . 

Donkey's Dream (Humorous). 

Emancipation of Man (Burlesque) 

Empty Nest. 

Eulogy on O'Connell. 

Friar's Christmas. 

Flying Dutchman. 

Frontier Bridal— Almost a Tragedy. 

Grady's Speech. *♦ The New South. '" 

Hannibal's Address. 

He Gave Him a Start. 

How I Tended Baby (Comic) 

If I Were a Boy Again. 

Jerusalem by Moonlight. 

Jimmie's Prayer. 

Kiss Deferred (Fine Poem). 

TAst Hymn (Story of Shipwreck). 



Light Over the Range (Miner's Dialect^^ 
Little Charlie's Big Story. 
Lorraine. 

Mark Twain*s Mining Story. 
Minding the Hens (Humorous) 
My First Pantaloons. 
Nameless Hero (Heroic Poem). 
Nebuchad rezzar. 
Neighbors (Specimen Gossip) 
One Thing He Forgot. 
Origin of Scandal. 
Pat's Reason (Comic), 
Patriotism. 

Peaceable Secession (OraTion>. 
Pharisee and Sadducee, 
Praying for Papa. 
Purpose. 

Rustle of a Wing. 
Shall America Betray Herse'f ■ 
She Referred Him to Pa. 
She Would Be a Mason (Humorous^ 
Soldier Tramp. 
Speech of Patrick Henry. 
Startling Revelations (Very Funay^ 
Spiritual Body, A. 
Telegram, The 

Temperance Lesson, Just Twent^-o£i.^; 
Thet Boy of Ourn (Dialect) 
Tom's Little Star (Poem)o 
Une Robe Ange.iQue, 
Universal Education. 
Unknown Speaker (Prize Oratio!ij 
Unwritten Poems. 
Waiting for the Bugle. 
* Winnie's Welcome (tirisfe. Poemi 



Denison^s Descriptive List. 



SCRAP=BOOK 

"The author has aimed to give the widest 
Boy, A Brave (Temperance). 
Bachelor of Many. 
Bill Nye's Hired Girl (Very Funny), 
Beggar Boy (Pathetic). 
Brealct Break! Break I 
Brakeman (Comic Sarcasm). 
Christmas Carol. 
Chinese Lilies (Beautiful Poem). 
Concert, Home (Domestic Tribute). 
Counting Eggs, Negro Dialect (Encore), 
Conquered, Song for. 
Camp and Music (G. A. R. Recitation) 
Difladence. 

Down the Stream (Pathetic) 
De Massa ob de Sheepfol'. 
Decoration Day Oration 
Dead, He Woke the (Negro Speech), 
Disappointment (Vainly Sought Kiss) 
Elder Sniffles' Courtship (Humorous) 
Elf-child (Good Encore) 
Flood of Years. 

Four Flies (Boarding House Episode). 
Fence o' Scripture (Scotch Dialect). 
God in History. 
Girls Study, How (Humorous). 
Grant, Eulogy on (Pathetic). 
Guilty, Yes (Temperance). 
Human Littleness. 
Ireland, Appeal to (Patriotic) 
Is Fidelity Eternal? 
Long Ago, Fine Retrospect 
Love Song (Extravaganza;. 
Logan, Tribute to (Patriotic). 



RECITATION SERIES. 
Contents of No. 6. Postpaid, 25 Cents 



range possible.*'— i\r. Y, School Journal 

Mary Stuart (Dramatic, Fine), 

McDonald's Charge at Wagram (Heroic). 

Marriage Theosophic (Humorou?^ 

Maiden Martyr (Pathetic Poem) 

Mysterious Rappings. 

Model Woman. 

Musket, Man with (Patriotic). 

Mary Jane (Modern Mediaeval Ballad ^ 

Niagara's Sacrifice. 

Norlne. 

Nothin' to Say. 

On the Other Train (Pathetic) 

Outlaws, The. 

Price of Drink (Temperance Recitation) 

Pin. A. 

Picket's Charge at Gettysburg (Heroic) 

Parson Kelley. 

Rainy Day. 

Romans, Appeal to (Oratorical) 

Santa Glaus (A Sailor), 

Scrooge's Reformation. 

Signboard (Temperance Poem). 

Sojourners. 

Soubrette's Revenge (Hit at Reporters) 

Stern and Wild, His Eye (Comic) 

Serenade (Comic). 

Scene from Richelieu (Dramatic). 

Toboggan Slide, Miss Splicer's (Comic) 

Tribute, A Just (Comic). 

Trouble in Choir (Humorous) 

Un Potpourri D'Elocution (Medley) 

Valedictory (High School Burlesque) 

What Is a Minority? 



CONTENTS OF No. 7. PRICE, POSTPAID, 25 CENTS. 

"Your series of readings is the best I have ever seen."— T. E. Whittemore Prin. 
High School, Weston^ Mass. 



Artie's Amen. 

Aunt Sophronia at Opera (Comic), 

Aunty Doleful's Visit (Humorous), 

Awfully Lovely (Philosophy). 

Bell of Liberty. 

Black Valley Railroad (Temperance) 

Both Sides of the Story. 

Brother Antonio (Poem). 

Century from Washington (Patriotic). 

Cleopatra. 

Coffee Mother Used to Make. 

Connor (Pathetic). 

Cupid Among Strawberries (Play). 

Daisy's Story. 

Damascus. 

Dat Yallar Gown (Negro), 

Deserter, A. 

Diver, The. 

Dying Captain (Pathetic). 

Easter Song. 

Edmund Burke (Oration). 

Ensign Bearer (Patriotic). 

Field Battery (Battle Scene). 

Finding the Cross (Fine Poem). 

First Piano in Mining Camp. 

Guest, The. 

He Gets There (A -Fable). 

Her Reply. 

Hindrances to Happiness. 

How Blinks Named Baby (Funny), 

Jiners, The (Comic). 

Xerrected (Yankee Dialect). 



Legal Attachment. 

Light Brigade (Heroic). 

Little Joe's Flowers (Pathetic). 

Little Johnnie at Dime Museum (Comic) 

Loved Not Lost, The. 

Mission of Press. 

Mother's Angel. 

Mr. and Mrs. Bowser's Family Jar. 

Naughty Girl's Life in Hotel 

Nocturnal Sketch, 

Owed to Halifax, 

Old Man and Jim. 

Old Sweetheart of Mine. 

Orpheus and Eurydlce (Humorous). 

Our Minister's Sermon (Poetry). 

Party at Wigglesworth's. (Comic) 

Perverse Peabody on Acquisition of Cuba 

Pilot's Story (Pine Poem). 

Senator Ingall's Eulogy of Burns. 

She Wanted to Learn Elocution (Bur- 
lesque). 

Silver Wedding. 

Sorra the Day. 

Sword of Damocles (Terrors of Con 
science). 

Three Chairs. 

Transpositions, 

True Men. 

Uncle (Fine Poem), 

Unfinished Prayer, 

Very Provoking. 

Where Is My Hat? (fComJcvl 



DenisoTi' s Descriptive List. 



PATRIOTIC SPEAKER 

By HENRY M. SOPER. 

"Master Thoughts of Master Minds." 
PRICE, POSTPAID. 25 CENTS. 



Is No. 8 of the 5erap«Book 
RECITATION SERIES 



Abraham Lincoln J. M. Langston 

Against Caius V erres Cicero 

American Citizenship E. I. Galvin 

American Flag, The H. W. Beecher 

American History Verplanck 

American "VTar, The Chatham 

America's Greatness Webster 

America's True Greatness Seward 

Andrew Jackson Geo. Lippard 

Appeal to Patriotism of South Caro- 
lina Andrew Jackson 

Appeal Against Secession.^. H. Stephens 

Athenian Patriotism Demosthenes 

Battle Hymn of "Republic Julia W, Howe 

Battle of Bunker Hill 

''Battles of the American Revolution.'" 
Birthday of Washington... Geo. Rowland 

Birthday of Washington Choate 

Blue and Gray F. M. Finch 

Breathes There the Man Scott 

Bunker-Hill Monument ^yehster 

Cause 01 the Union B. C. Winthrop 

Centennial Speech. C. C. Albert son 

Columbia Timothy Wright 

Conciliation Wm. Pitt 

Centennial Hymn, 1876 Whittier 

Centennial Speech Depew 

J. J/". Thurston 

Xelson Blake 

Rabbi Eirsch 

Billie Mason 

Rev. Mclntyre 

Rev. Burrows 

Rev. Gunsaulus 

Declaration of Independence 

Depew's Centennial Speech 

Dollie Harris at Greencastle J. West 

Downfall of Poland Campbell 

Drake's Ode to American Flag. . . .Drake 
Dying Patriot's Request.. CM. Brosman 

Freedom Must Triumph James Otis 

Gen Warren's Address J no. Pierpont 

Government of the People Bancroft 

Great Britain and Her QoloniQS .Bancroft 

Grave of Lincoln Edna Z>. Proctor 

Heroism of the Hungarians Kossuth 

Home Rule for Ireland.- Gladstone 



Independence Bell, "Philadelphia.... 

Independence Day ' L. Parm£ly 

Infidelity Not Friendly to Freedom. 

Phillips 

Ignorance a Crime Horace 3Iann 

Keep Those Banners T. 0. Summers 

Lexington O.W. Holmet 

Liberty and Greatness Legairt 

Liberty and Union, One and Insepa- 
rable Daniel Webster 

Love of Country Sidney Smith 

Love of Country.,.* Newton Booth 

Lincoln the Shepherd Phillips Brookt 

Marseillaise Hymn Rouget De Lisle 

National Distinction Depends Upon 

Virtue Channing 

Nations and Humanity Geo. W. Curtit 

Oh, Captain, My Captain.. Walt Whitman 
Ode to Independence Bell.../. S. Mitchell 
Opinions Stronger Than Armies — 

L. A. Ostrandef 

Our Constitution Rev. H. W.Bolton 

Paul Revere's Ride Longfellou 

Patriotism Inculcates Public Virtue. Clay 

Penn's Monument R.J. Burdettt 

Present Age, The Channinc, 

Pulaski's Banner Longfellou 

Responsibility of (y\iT CoMntry.. Madison 

Rienzi's Address Mary R. Mitfora 

Seven Invincibles Xew England 3 fag. 

Sword of Bunker Hill .... Wm. R. Wallact 

Tell On His Native Hills KnowUi 

True Honor of a Nation W. R. Prina 

True Manhood the Nation's Only 

Safety H. M. Soper 

Two Banners of America 

Rev. Herrick Johnson 

Union of the States Randolph 

Uses of History W. Irving 

Valley Forge H. S. Brown 

Vow of Washington 

Washington Monument. 7?<?&z!. C. Winthrop 
Washington's Sword: Franklin's 

Staff J. Q. Adams 

War Chas. Sumner 

Welcome to Lafayette Everett 

What Is Patriotism? Fisher AmM 



Demson's Descriptive List. 



SCRAP=BOOK 



RECITATION SERIES. 

Contents of No. 9. Postpaid, 25 Cei^fe 



" Most excellent selections,''— y«,ifia;ia5 School Journal. 



As I Have Loved You 
An Obstacle (Laughable) . 
Browu Has Hair Cut (Humorous Prose) 
Burns. Ode to (Anniversary Poem). 
Christmas. 

Curtain. The (Dramatic Life Picture!. 
Como (Tragic Love Scene). [torical) 

Crime Its Own Detector (Dramatic Ora 
Current of Ijife, The (Sentimental^ 
Dread of Death, The. 
Der Vater JNIill (Humorous Dialect), 
Farmer Grey Photographed (Character 
Sls:etch). [sode). 

First Unpleasantness (Connubial Epi- 
Future in Front of Him, A. 
Flower of Love, The. 
Ferry of Galloway, (Dramatic Pathosj 
Guided by a Star (Christmas Recitation; 
Guessing Nationalities (Very Humorous; 
God and the SouL 
He Giveth His Beloved Sleep. 
Her First Railroad Ride (Old Lady) 
How It Really Was (Humorous). 
How Grandma Danced (Comic). 
Individualism in Socie^j' (Oration) 
Irish Molly ( Revolutionary Poem). 
Kiss. The Lost (Pathetic). 
Knee Deep in June (Humorous Dialect } 



Little Newsboy (Pathetic). 

Memories of Heart (Sentimental). 

Nothing to Wear (Humorous Poem}. 

Old Log School House (Sentimental; 

Overdrawn A ceo unts (Life Lesson) . 

Power of Love. 

Piece of Red Lalico (Humorous) 

Papa's Little Boy. 

Pat's Perplexity (Comic). 

Right Man for Place. 

Riderless Steeds (Pathetic). 

Romance of the Carpet (Comic). 

Rail Road Crossing (Humorous Encorej 

Sin of Omission. 

Sower, The (Poem of Lite) 

Soliloquy, A. 

Sully the Rooster (Pathetic) 

Summer Boarder (Good Encore) 

Shore, By the. 

Take Good Care of Baby (Negro Dialects 

To-Morrow at Ten. 

To the Stars and Stripes (Patriotic; 

True Incident of the War. 

Washington and Hatchet (New—Boi 

Personation). 
Which One Was Kept? 
When Father Carres the Duck (Comtek 
Who Shall be Queen of May? (Play.) 



CONTENTS OF No. lo. PRICE, POSTPAID, 25 CENTS. 
This Dumber Is iargely HUMOROUS. 

"Will prove one of the most taking of the Series."— 7%e Moderator (Mich.). 



artemus Ward's London Lecture 

Auntie's Courtship (Humorous). 

Bank's Babies. 

Bicycle Girl. 

Bombastic Appeal to Jury 

Christmas Eve (Pathetic Poem) 

Clergyman Had to Explain 

Daisy's Fate. ^ 

Daughter of Herodias (Poem). 

Delsartean Plea (Funny Poem). 

Discontented Leader (Darky Poem) 

Eisseldorf and Water Pipe, 

Epitaph on Washington fPoem'. 

Facial Family, The. 

Faithful Lovers (Poem), 

Fashionable Singing. 

First Problem (Soliloquy of Chickens; 

Fourth of July in Jonesville. 

Ghost Scene (Fun for Boye' 

Hannah Tripe in Court. 

Height of Ridiculous (Poem) . 

Hepsy at State Convention. 

Her Name (Child's Poem). 

How Do You Know? 

How to Read (Humorous). 

How We Hunted a Mouse. 

How Girls Fish. 

Ideal, An (Poem). 

Ike Papson's Courtship. 

Irish Witticism. 

Leap Year Farce. 

Legend of Don Ditto and the Dutchman, 

Lover's Stratagem. 

Membranous Croup at McWtUiamses 



Memories (Cradle Song). 

Mice at Play (For Children). 

Midnight Murder (Burlesque), 

Model Husband (Poem). 

Monk'sAdventures, The. 

*'More Truth Than Poetry" (F'lne Poem 

Mule on der Steamboat Deck 

My Rival (Comic Poem). 

Necks— Boy's Composition. 

Nobody's Mule (Poem). 

No Chance for an Alibi. 

Our Country (Patriotic Poemi 

Owl Critic (Humorous Poem ) 

Oysterman, The. 

Parson's Horse Race^ 

Presentation of Trumpet (Humorous^ 

Rival Sweetheart, The. 

Samantha's Talk. 

Serenade, The (Poem). 

Settling Under Difficulties. 

She Meant Business. 

Simon Short's Courtship. 

Street Criers (Imitative Poem). 

Tale of Fishwife, Its Sad Fate (Comic> 

Thanksgiving Day (Fine Description). 

**Thust Only a Dweam" (Child's Poem] 

Two Bootblacks, The. 

Two Old Crows (Poem). 

Valley Forge (Patriotic). 

Washington (Poem). 

We All Know Her (Humorous Poems 

Why He Waited to Laugh. 

Why the Steward Was Dischargecfi 

Worried About Cather^PP 



. , , ,, » 



SCRAP-BOOK 



RECITATION SERIES. 
Contents of No. 11. Postpaid, 25 Cent^ 



No series exceeds this m excellence.* —iScAoo? Moderator {Mich), 



Abraham Lincoin (Orationjo 
America in Pinafore (Poem) 
Archie Dean (Humorous Poem), 
Brought Back by the Butcher's Boy 
Bride of the Greek Isle (Poem). 
Bewildered Conductor (Humorous), 
Craven Knight (Fine Poem). 
Chinese Version of Jonah and Whale. 
Champion Snorer. 
Darky's Ideal Wife. 
Dot New Song. 

Foreign Views of Statue (Diaiect Med- 
Fine Battle Picture. fley). 

Ginevra (Poem). 
Her Laugff— in Four Fits, 
He Wasn't In It. 

He Laughed at Five (Character Mono- 
How It Was to Be. Qog^ec 
How It Is. 
How it Came to Be. 
How Man Puts Things Away, 
tie and She (Pathetic Poem) 
Jingles of the Street, 
Light (Allegorical Poem), 
My Ships (Poem). 
Master Character of Victor Hugo 



Miser Fitly Punished (Poem:i 

Memorial Day Poem . 

Methodist Camp Meeting. 

Night Watch (Fine War Poem> 

Nature of Oratory 

No Kiss. 

Naughty Zell (Comic). 

Oh, For a Man. 

One-Legged Duck (Negro Diaiect) 

Our Christmas (Poem), 

Poppyiand Limited Express. 

Peter Mulrooney and the Black Fiiij*. 

Parting (Poem of Death). 

Question, A. 

Romance of the Ganges. 

"Shiner" and the Waifs, 

True Socialism (Oration). 

Trials of a Columbian Guare 

Trial at Elocution. 

That Little Girl of Mine 

Volunteer Organist. 

Who Did It? 

Welsh Classic (Humorous Poemj 

Way Down in Ole Virginy= 

What Became of the Kitten - 

Yellow and White. 



CONTENTS OF No. 12. PRICE, POSTPAID, 25 CENTS. 

This Number Coataias SHAKESPEAREAN SUPPLEMENT 



From Book I through XI the originality and newness of the selections are ver^ 
refreshing."— -4r^s for America 



Ah°Goo (German Dialect) 

Annihilation (Courtship Poem) 

Asking Mother. 

As You Like It. 

Bill Smith (Humorous) 

Bob White. 

Breaking Home Ties. 

Chicago Greeting Atlanta (OratloE) 

Conflicting Claims. 

Courtin' Call (Humorous). 

Cuba's Banner. 

Death of the Country Doctor (Scotch) 

Dot Long-handled Dipper. 

Euterpe's Visit (Prize Poem) 

Fair Easter Lilies. 

Foes United in Death (Pathetic; 

George Washington (Darky Poem) . 

Golden Wedding (Poem). 

Hamlet's Instruction to the Players. 

Hamlet— Death of Polonlus. 

He Loved to Steal. 

Henry the Fifth's Wooing, 

Indian Eloquence. 

instinct of Immortality. 

Inventor's Wife (Humorous). 

Jack's Letter to Bob. 

Josiah Allen's Wife at a Fashionable 

Lost Type [Restaurant, 



Loyal Hearts (Poem of Soldier's Life) 

May, In (Humorous). 

Mark Antony's Oration Over Body ot 

Melendy Prize Oration. [C^sa? 

Mending the Clock. 

Much Ado About Nothing 

On the Devon Coast (Heroic) 

Oratory Among the Arts. 

Orphan Billy 

Othello. 

Quarrel of Brutus and Cassms, 

Roadside Path, 

Romeo and Juliet. 

Sea, The (Reveries of a Bachelor) 

She Didn't Want to Meddle. 

Speech of Black Hawk. 

Studying for the Contest (Humorous) 

Swipesey's Christmas Dinner, 

Tempest (Death of Ham Pegotty). 

Thanksgiving Turkey. 

Trial of Queen Katharine— Henry VUi 

Trial Scene, Merchant of Venice. 

Trick vs. Trick (Humorous), 

Two Letters and Two Telegrams. 

Two Spies— AnJre, Hale. [morous>, 

Uncle Eben's Opinion (Humorous). 

Unfinished Manuscript (Pathetic), 

Vines of Memory (Poem) 



Denisoif s Desc7'iptive List . 



SCRAP-BOOK 



RECITATION SERIES, 

Contents of No. 13, Postpaid, 25c. 

"Teachers and others who have to do with programs will find more than the 
value of the price asked."— A^eiy Edu ation, N. Y. 



Address Before the New 
York Historical Society. 

Agnostic, The. 

AS the Twig Is Bent. 

Bachelor's Soliloquy. 

Beatitudesin Broad Scotch 

■'Bucks." 

Composition Day. 

Coronation. The. 

Dawn of Peace. 

Death of Garcia. 

Dem Schickens. 

Dog's Cold Nose. 

Don't Hesitate. 

Dutchman's EqualRights, 

Early Rising. 

Eastertide. 

English Language. 

Expansion. 

Foraging or Stealing I 

George Washington's 
"Bufday." 

Gimlet vs. Corkscrew. 

Grant. 

Hard Earned Wages. 

Hereafter. 

Her Shpacial-i-ty. 



His Limitation. 

Holiday Gobbler's Address 

Immortality. 

International Race. 

Invincibles, The. 

Is Little Bob Tucked in? 

King's Repentance, A . 

KittenThatNeverGrewOld 

Lady Yeardley's Guest. 

Lariat Jim. 

Last Summons. 

Little Quaker Sinner. 

Lost on the Shore. 

Loyal to a Trust. 

Lyric Seer. 

Making a Man of the Boy. 

Making an Orator. 

Master'sPen— AConfessi'n 

Message to Garcia. 

Mourning Veil. 

Mr. Dooly Defines a Poet. 

My Ma, She Knows. 

Name of Old Glory . 

Nansen. 

'Nough for Me. 

"Old Glory" at Pekin. 

One of His Names. 



Only a Little Chinese Talk= 

Opportunity. 

Pete Ivory's Ordeal. 

Philosophy of Progress. 

Platonic. 

Predestination. 

Pussy's Class. 

Road to Wrinkle Town, 

Shopping. 

Small Boy's Questions. 

Sound Money. 

Strategy of Dave. 

Summer Idyl. 

Toast— To the Ladies. 

Travel in England. 

Uncle Nate's FuneraL 

Use and Abuse of Propertj^ 

We'd All Like to StopThere. 

What's in a Name? 

When My Mother Tucked 

Me In. 
When Not to Keep Books. 
When the Circuit Rider 

Came. 
When the Cork Goes Down. 
Widder Doodle. 
Write It. 



CONTENTS OF No. 14. PRICE, POSTPAID, 25 CENTS. 

Excellent monologues in this number. 

" No class of books are more in demand than those containing pieces to 
speak. Among the best in this class are -Scrap-Book Recitations.'" — School 
Journal, N. T. 



Ai Tank So. 

Ail. 

Answer to Burgundy. 

Ballad of the Everlasting 

Amateur. 
Beautiful Legacy. 
Book of Life. 
Borrowing a Pie. 
Breaking the News. 
Bridget's Latest. 
Buying a Hat. 
Calling the Boy to Tea. 
Candor. 
Cash Account. 
Christmas Poem. 
"Crossing the Bar.'* 
Dairy Maid's Song. 
Dead Soldier. 
Don't Use Big Words. 
Duty of America toGreece. 
Encouragement. 
Es I Sets Befo' De Fiah. 
Family Difference. 
Famous Eulogy on a Dog. 
First Easter. 
Folly of Telling Lies. 
Force of Habit. 
Sanges. 

**Goo d-Bye,God Bl'ss Yon, ' ' 
Good Citizenship, 
How Did You Die? 



He Wears the Button on 

His Coat. 
How She Got Father's Con 

sent. 
Hymns as Mother Use 'Ter 

Sing. 
If I Durst. 

If I Should Die To-night. 
If She Had-Lived. 
Jane Jones. 

Jim Haley s Conversion. 
Kiss Me, Sweetheart. 
Last Grand Army Man. 
Life Lesson. 
Little Boy Blue. 
Man Without a Country, 
McKinley. 
Memorial Address. 
Memorial Day. 
Message of the New Year. 
Mildred's Conscience. 
Mississippi. 

Modern Woman's Ideas. 
Moral Reform the Hope of 

the Age. 
Mornin', Papa. 
Mother Believed In Him 

Long Ago. 
Motherlook. 
Mrs. Murphy's Grief. 
My Ain Fireside. 



My Father Was a Soldier. 

New Year. 

O'er Bethlehem. 

Oratory. 

Ought - To - Beography of 
Patrick O'Flaherty. 

Oyouchisan. 

Palace of the King. 

Patriotism of Peace. 

Pat's Domain and Mine. 

Personals (Monologue.) 

Printers and Mind Readers. 

Rodney's Ride. 

Roll Call, 

Roll of Honor. 

"Skinflint Mose." 

Song of Degrees. 

Take Your Choice. 

They Reaped What They 
Sowed. 

Things That We Never 
Have Done. 

Three Words of Strength. 

Thy Will Be Done. 

Tommy's Troubles. 

True Patriotism Is Unsel- 
fish. 

We Speak to Men. 

"Who Killed Joe's Baby?' 

Wood Ticks. 

Would It Be too Late? 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 



Documentary Evidence, 25 min. 1 1 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min.... 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
Fun in a Photograph Gallery, 

30 min 6 10 

Great Doughnut Corporation, 

30 min 3 5 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Happy Pair, 25 min 1 1 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 

Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Carver's Fancy Ball, 40 m. 4 3 
Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 

min 3 2 

My Lord in Livery, 1 hr.... 4 3 

My Neighbor's Wife, 45 min.. 3 3 

My Turn Next, 45 min 4 3 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr.... 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Obstinate Family, 40 min 3 3 

Only Cold Tea. 20 min 3 3 

Outwitting the Colonel, 25 min. 3 2 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min 6 4 

Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 3 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith, the Aviator, 40 min... 2 3 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min, 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min..... 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too :Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Treasure from Egypt, 45 min, 4 1 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 

Two Bonnycastles, 45 min.... 3 3 

Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min . . 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m, 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Which Will He Marry? 20 min, 2 8 

Wlio Is Who? 40 min _. . 3 2 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

Yankee Peddler, 1 kr 7 3 



VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, MON- 
OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

M, F. 

Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 

Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min, 1 1 

Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m,14 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

Five Minutes from Yell Col- 
lege, 1 5 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 

Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 

Handy Andy (Negro), 12 min. 2 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 1 

Hot Air, 25 min 2 1 

Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 

Little Red School House, 20 m, 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 

Mischievous Nigger, 25 min.. 4 2 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs, Fido, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. Badger's Uppers, 40 min. 4 2 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m, 2 

Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min.. 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10 

min 1 

Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 

Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min, 2 2 

Prof, Black's Funnygraph, 15 m, 6 

Recruiting Office, 15 min 2 

Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 

Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress. 20 min, 1 1 

Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min,,, 4 

Troubles of Rozinski. 15 min.. 1 

Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 

ITmbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 
Uncle Bill at the Vaudeville, 

15 min 1 

Uncle Tefif, 25 min 5 2 

Who Gits de Reward? 30 min. 5 1 



A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are Ksted in 

Denison's Catalogue 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers,154 W.Randolph St., Chicago 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



POPULAR ENTERTAINMEa nOO On>l COT 

Price, Illustrated Paper Covers, 25 < \J \JCL Z.U4 00 1 V 




tN this Series 
-^ are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely m a d e, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 



DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Brand new, original, successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Cornic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. i 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 
Mcnologues Grave and Gay. 

Dramatic and humorous. 
The Patriotic Speaker. 

Master thoughts of master minds. 



The Poetical Entertainer. 

For reading or speaking. 
Pomes ov the Peepul. 

Wit, humor, satire, funny poems. 
Scrap- Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, pros e, 
poetry. 14 Nos., per No. 25c. 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Private Theatricals. 

How to put on plays. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection, 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

Black American Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland, via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jok'^a, gags, etc. 

Large Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago 



